My Purgatory Hell

Chapter 13

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

- Maya Angelou

We didn't stay long at Samantha's house. In fact, there wasn't much in the land of the dead for a while. My family arranged my funeral, which was probably the most exciting thing to happen to us next. In regards to Samantha finding peace, I felt like a failure. I know it wasn't my fault she couldn't find peace, but I wanted to desperately help her. I've been scrounging for ideas on how else to help her, though I've come up empty-handed.

A day before my funeral, Samantha and I were chatting normally. Then, out of nowere, she seemed to fade away into nothing.

"Samantha?" I called out, looking around. "Where'd you go?"

I didn't receive a response to my question. It didn't make sense, because this was the first time she vanished with my full attention on her. What was going on?

While waiting for Samantha to return from her adventure, I decided to let my thoughts wander. In the last week, I've been watching my family from afar. I didn't want to freak Austin out any more than I already have. Or to even give him some false hope. If all went according to plan, I wouldn't be here. That meant leaving for good. The thought of peace both enticed and intimidated me. I closed my eyes briefly.

What did peace feel like? Was it some random light that pulled you in? Or was it a door like I'd saw on television? I laughed at that. Nothing was ever truly like the movies.

Mr. Green also was released from the hospital. However, he struggled with some of his inner demon. I don't understand how he could feel so much remorse for having the impact he did on my life. I was the one who ran that stop sign. Not him. If anything, he should be blaming me. Not himself. Even though I still kept loose tabs on Mr. Green, I didn't go out of my way to keep an eye on him. To watch him torment himself. I was already getting very good at tormenting myself.

I felt a brief chill. If I was still alive, I would have felt goosebumps travel up my arm. "Samantha?" I asked hesitantly. I momentarily froze, but let out a sigh of relief when Samantha reformed in front of me. Then concern filled me.

"Are you okay?" I questioned. I felt like the overprotective mother right now.

Samantha was drenched. Her hair and her clothes were sopping wet. She was also coughing up a lot of water. It looked as if she was reliving her death experience. I approached her and began patting on her back to help her cough up the water.

"I'm fine," Samantha gasped after she finished coughing the water out of her lungs.

Now that we had her status established, my curiosity got the better end of me. "What happened?" I probed. I knew it probably wasn't right to probe her right after she endured whatever she endured, but I couldn't hold back the investigator side of me.

Samantha held up a finger for me to wait as she recomposed herself. When she got enough air and had straightened herself out, she gave me a saddened smile. "Sorry. Every death-iversary this happens." She shrugged nonchalantly, as if this wasn't a big deal. It made me put on the brakes though.

"Death-iversary?" The question was out before I could stop myself. Not sure if I wanted to, because I had a feeling this would pertain to me when the time comes, a little less than a year from now.

"Every year on the day you had passed, you relive your death experience. For you, it will be the car accident. For me? It's the drowning." Samantha shuddered at the thought, and made a sour face. Her comment brought me back to a week ago, when Samantha had taken me to the lake. I could remember the sadness laced in her voice. I knew that drowning wasn't a fun way to die--well no way to die is ever fun, but drowning in particular. The agony one feels before their soul leaves their body? It makes me shudder at the thought.