My Purgatory Hell

Chapter 30

"The two hardest things to say in life is hello for the first time and goodbye for the last."

– Moira Rogers

Three short and sweet dreams--that was the goal. My first planned visit was an official goodbye to Hayley, because even with our falling out, she deserved a true goodbye. The second visit I had planned was with my family, and there was no need for separate dreams with each of them. I'm hoping Austin can assist with that goodbye, since I felt it would be the most difficult to get across. I saved Aaron for last, because of what we could have had. It was bittersweet to think about, and I felt like ending on that note.

First dream.

I pulled Hayley into the park. Looking around, she seemed a tad confused about where she was. Then her eyes landed on me and recognition lit them up before they became narrowed.

"I thought you were leaving?" Hayley asked in confusion. Her head cocked to the side to punctuate her perplexity. I gave her a small smile and nod to confirm her question. "I am," I responded with a soft tone, my voice eerily calm. My voice didn't even sound like I was saying good bye.

"This is it?" Hayley questioned as she stepped to close the distance between us. "Are you saying good bye?"

I laughed. "I'm trying my best here, but you seem to be good at distracting me."

Hayley frowned at my comment and ran a hand through her thick hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she apologized. A wind danced with our hair, messing up her attempts at fixing hers. I closed my eyes momentarily to take in the joyous feeling in an attempt to remember this time.

"It is okay," I started. "I just wanted to let you know that I am glad we made up. It would have sucked to leave with our friendship on a sour note." I shook my head. "Just the thought stops me in my tracks. So thank you for having the patience with me."

Hayley shook her head and gave me a stern look. "No, I want to thank you. For forgiving me. For being so generous and loving. I would have tortured myself with so much guilt for years if it wasn't for you, Maribell." She closed the distance between us and gave me a bear hug. The tight squeeze was reassuring, and eased a little of the burden. The gesture also unleashed tears that I was holding just under the surface, and Hayley held me tighter as traitorous sobs racked through my body.

I knew we had said goodbye the previous night, but I wanted something more formal and official--hearing her words helped move me along the path of my goodbyes. I wanted to pour my thoughts out before I left Hayley. And I supposed the feeling was mutual, because when we broke from our hug, Hayley had a look of relief plastered over her face.

When we did break away, we kept eye contact. I nodded and Hayley mirrored me. "I haven't much time left to say goodbye to the others," I said, clearing my throat and wiping my tear-stained face.

Hayley nodded. "It's okay. I think we've said all that we've needed to say." She grabbed my hand in hers and gave a little squeeze. 

I left the dream cease with the memory of my hand in hers.

Second dream.

I knew my next dream would be tricky, because my family usually had a lot to say, and we would all be in the same room. The sad thing was that they may not believe they were actually speaking to me, save Austin. So I was hoping Austin could help persuade them as I said my goodbyes.

My family and my living room materialized before me. The majority of my family looked at each other in confusion, more so when they saw me. Austin had a sad, but knowing, look. "It is time, isn't it?" Austin asked.