My Nightmare Is My Lover

Nightmare number one

      Kurapika opened his eyes and yawned. He looked around his room. It was still dark outside he could see that because there was no light or any type of illumination coming from the window. Did he have a good night's sleep? He couldn't seem to remember if he did. Kurapika got up and turned on the lights so he could see what time it was. There was no digital clock or a little bedside table. Kurapika thought that was weird because he could have sworn both of those things were in the room he was in. Kurapika was normally thirsty when he woke up so he was surprised he wasn't yet. He knew that he was going to be thirsty soon so he might as well as for some water. "HEY! Can someone get me a drink?" No response. Kurapika walked to the door and opened it a crack. There were no troupe members which was really weird because Chrollo had instructed them to guard him.

      "Hello? Is anybody here?" Kurapika asked and looked around the dark hallway. He saw a candle at his feet. The candle was lit and Kurapika assumed he could use it to see because it was so dark. He picked it up and slowly made his way down the dark hallway.

      "Shal?" Kurapika called for him purposely because Shalnark was the one member who treated him in a more positive light earlier. He would prefer to run into Shalnark and he didn't want to run into Feitan but he was neutral on all the others at the moment. This hallway seemed continuous. Kurapika thought maybe he was nervous and not enjoying himself so it seemed that way. Time goes slower when you are bored or not enjoying yourself.

      "Where is everyone?" Kurapika called out but this time instead of a statement this sounded more like a nervous question.

      "Hello there Kura, what are you doing out of your room?" Suddenly Kurapika found himself back in his bedroom and no longer in the hallway. He had heard Chrollo talking but when he looked around his room, Chrollo was not in there with him. Kurapika decided to investigate some more. He went out of his room and there was another lit candle. The candle he was holding had gone out. It was almost like someone wanted him to keep leaving his room. This time Kurapika went in the opposite direction and walked for a while. He groaned in irritation.

      "Why are you leaving Kurapika?" Asked Chrollo's voice again.

      "How can I be leaving if all these hallways lead to nothing!" Kurapika shouted into the darkness.

      "You're right. You can't be leaving here. This is only nothingness." Suddenly Chrollo appears and as if on instinct Kurapika shuts his eyes right away.

      "Why did you leave your room when that place was safe? Are you looking for danger?" Chrollo asked Curiously.

      "I am kidnapped! How can I really consider any of this place safe?!" Kurapika yelled. Tears started pouring out of his closed eyes and he didn't know what to do.

      "Why won't you look at me Kurapika?" Chrollo finally asked him. Chrollo gently touches his cheek and Kurapika winces at the touch. He hates Chrollo. He doesn't want Chrollo's hands anywhere near him. He didn't want to look at him because he hated him so much.

      "Why would I ever want to look at you?! I hate you! I hate you so much! You and your troupe took everything that I ever cared about away from me! You are the whole entire reason that I have no purpose anymore!" Kurapika yelled and cries more through his closed eyes.

      "Who said you have no purpose? You don't need others in order to be meaningful or to do something with your life. Life is meant to self satisfy anyway it doesn't matter what you need to do for self-satisfaction."

      "You don't know anything! You're just a heartless bastard! You don't care about anybody! You don't care about your employees, your troupe members, or me! You care about nothing but yourself!" Kurapika yelled at him.

      "Why won't you look at me Kurapika?" Chrollo asked again. Kurapika didn't know why Chrollo was now asking this a second time.

      "I hate you that's why! I don't want to look at a person I hate so passionately!"

      "No, that's not it."

      "What do you mean "that's not it" Of course that's it! You aren't me so you have no idea how I feel or what I am thinking!" Kurapika told him in a hostile voice.

      "Can you hear me out at least? I think you would appreciate what I have to say to you, Kurapika."

      "Do I have much of a choice?" Kurapika asked him and sighed.  Chrollo smiles but of course Kurapika can't see that with his eyes closed.

      "You don't want to look at me for two reasons but neither of those reasons is hatred. It may be true that you hate me, that you can't stand me at all it may be true that you want to kill me in the most painful way possible but if that were the case, wouldn't you just look at me with those red eyes full of hatred? You did so earlier so why won't you now? If you weren't looking because of hatred then why would you have looked at me earlier with eyes that show no sanity and only show madness? Why Kurapika? That makes no sense, does it? I believe that there are two reasons that you aren't looking at me and neither one is hatred."

      "Well then if you are so convinced that you know the reason, why don't you tell me what you think the reason is," Kurapika stated. He wanted to get to the point with Chrollo and he didn't want to play these stupid games. He felt Chrollo put his arms on his shoulders.

      "Alright, I'll tell you. Reason number one, You are afraid that when you look at me, I won't look like the thing you pictured all along. I won't look evil, heartless, or cruel and then you won't know what to do with yourself. Reason number two, you'll open your eyes and I'll look exactly like what you picture me out to be, something cruel, something terrible and something demonic, and then you will be terrified."  Kurapika shivers.

      "I will only look like what you truly think of me on the inside Kurapika. I won't look like whatever you convince yourself I am. Only you can decide if you see me as a demon or an angel and the results will reflect what you think inside. So, Can you look at me Kurapika? For your own sake?" Kurapika took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He did not see Chrollo the twenty-something-year-old man he had seen earlier. Kurapika Saw something evil sinister and terrifying. He could not describe the thing he saw as human. He had opened his eyes and saw the devil.

      Kurapika gasped waking up for real this time. He panted. His room looked normal there was no brunt out candles and the room did have a bedside table with a digital clock on it that read 4:00 am. He opened the door and an angry Feitan looked back at him. "Oi! Are you trying to escape?!" Kurapika looked down the hallway and it didn't look continuous at all it had other rooms unlike in the dream and there was a staircase leading to the main area. Kurapika ran past Feitan and looked down the rails that were now there that showed the eating area below him.

      "Hey! What are you doing?! Go back to your room!" Feitan said getting angry. He wasn't super happy having been woken for a shift to guard Kurapika.

      "Sorry I was just...I wanted some water." Kurapika said.

      "Tsk! I'll leave the others a reminder that you get aggressive about water!" Feitan said and pulled out a water bottle.

      "Here you go, now it's time for you to go back in." Feitan lead kurapika back into his room and Kurapika sighed as the door was shut. He drank his water and sighed laying on the bed.

      "I never want to have that nightmare again..."