One week later
-
My cousin came over once again. She's 3 years old and she makes my dad so happy. Whenever she's not here my dad is all angry and serious but when she is here he's all laughs and smiles. It makes me feel a certain type of way because someone else's daughter makes him more happy than his own.
I was eating downstairs and he was talking to her.
"My baby" he said to her
That got me in my feelings.
I walked upstairs and got dressed in a hoodie, some ripped jeans and some white Jordan 12s.
I told my mom where I'm going and walked out the house.
There's a park literally 2 minutes away by foot so I walked there to get away from the house. I put the hood to the hoodie on my head and leaned back on the bench with my head down.
I was sitting there lost in my thoughts when they got interrupted.
"Y/n?" I heard a familiar voice question but I ignored it.
Then someone sat next to me. I picked up his scent.
It was Jahseh.
I looked at him
"What's wrong?" He questioned
"It's stupid" I say looking back down
"I'm sure it isn't" he says
"Well you remember when I told you about my cousin that comes over a lot" I said
"The 3 year old?" He asked
I nod my head
"It's stupid but-" I got cut off
"It's not stupid....just tell me" he said with pleading eyes
He grabbed my hand and started caressing it.
"I just feel like I'm being replaced" I admitted
"Replaced?" He furrowed his eyebrows
"Yes. I feel like my dad is replacing me with her" I continued
"How?" He asked concerned
"Whenever she's not there then he's all serious and seems like he always has an attitude but when she's there he's all smiles and laughs" I said
"I'm sorry you feel that way" he says sincerely
"Tell me the rest" he says
I looked at him
"I know there's a big detail you're not telling me" he says
I sighed
"He....." I paused
"It's okay" he says kissing my hand
"He called her his baby" I said
His eyes filled with sadness and it broke my heart.
"And he always called me that but he doesn't anymore because he gave the name to her" I said letting a few tears fall.
He pulled me in for a hug.
He was softly rubbing my back as I cried.
"I know what it's like to feel like you're being replaced....it's one of the shittiest feelings in the world and you shouldn't have to feel this way especially since it's your dad. He as a dad should not be treating someone else's daughter better than his own." He said
"I just don't get it" I said
"Maybe you should tell him how you feel" he said
"Jahseh you don't know my dad. He's not gonna care....he never does. He's not gonna do anything to change it" I said sadly
I knew he could hear the sadness in my voice.
"I'm sorry I wish I could keep you from feeling this way" he said
He planted a few soft kisses on my forehead making me blush.
I pulled away from the hug and wiped my tears.
"I'm gonna give you that name back" he said
"How?" I questioned
"I'm gonna call you MY baby" he said
I smiled a genuine smile
"Awww I didn't know it'll make you that happy" he smiled
"My dad is probably not gonna like that though" I said
"Then so be it. He obviously doesn't care enough to put your feelings into consideration so I really don't care" he said
"I just feel like I'm treated like....never mind" I said looking down
He lifted my head up by my chin
"What are you treated like?" He furrowed his eyebrows
"I don't even know how to explain but whenever I need something he always tells me to do it myself but when she needs something....he's always willing to do it for her" I said
"Y/n this is all the way fucked up" he said rubbing his thumb across my chin
"I don't know if you realized it but I don't think this is a healthy father-daughter relationship" he said
"It isn't" I say
"The only reason I'm still on this earth is because of you and my mom" I added
"What do you mean because of me and your mom?" He questioned
"I've thought about commiting many times but each time I always thought of you and my mom and how that would effect you guys" I said
He looked like he was about to cry
He pulled me in for another hug
"That would literally break me....please don't do that to me" he pleaded
"I won't" I say
"I love you" he says
"I love you too Seh" I say
He kissed my forehead
