Picture Picture

Chapter 25: Just One of Those Girls

25  

Just One of those Girls

For the Rest of John Michael’s Twelve days of Christmas, aside from a notebook, Nicky received a handkerchief, a song magazine, forty-peso worth of load, another notebook, two My Gel sign pens, a small-pack of Curly Tops, a hairbrush, a pair of white Nikon slippers, a wide-set comb, another handkerchief from the same person and a small bottle of conditioner. Is my hair really that bad? She tried to be enthusiastic and grateful with what she received. But unfortunately, she didn’t get what she really wanted. None of them was from Red. It wasn’t that she was expecting to receive something from him, but she could not deny that she did wish for a gift from him—anything—she wouldn’t even mind if he was the one who gave her the conditioner.

As a Chris Cringle herself, she tried to be simple yet creative with her gifts, but they were the same gifts each day, so she might have come off as less thoughtful. But she did put some thought on her Christmas Greetings. She thought it wasn’t just even a simple holiday note.

For the twelve days, she gave the same three things—two Kit Kats, a cheap Winnie the Pooh bookmark from the dozen she bought for only fifty pesos and a small greeting note on a stationery paper. She found it funny to write on a stationery paper—the last time she wrote on one was when she was in fourth grade for a Valentine’s Day activity for their art class. She ended up giving the stationery to her mother. Back then, boys were the last thing on her mind. It seemed silly now to use a stationery paper. Yet, she really did not care. But she did pick stationeries that were unscented and not funny looking.

In was on the eleventh day that she was tempted to change the contents of her usual gift. It was that day that she drew Red’s name. But so as not to look too weird and obvious, she finally resorted to give him the same thing—two Kit Kats, a bookmark and a simple holiday note that remained unchanged except for the name of the receiver.

 Red,

Life can be very much like a book. So, you’ve got to know what page you’re on. At problems, you may not always be off the hook. Still, you’ve got to just keep moving on.Now, get a book and mark a page, and read like life is not a race. Because through all life’s setbacks and pains, you’ll be fine with just a chocolate.

  Happy Christmas and a Blessed New Year!

                                                                                                                                                                         Nicky

She hoped Red wouldn’t take the note too personally. She also hoped he’d realize it was the same note she had given to others and wouldn’t really think that much about her gift. Nicky just hoped she could get away with it. But then, despite that, the one thing she really most hoped about but just couldn’t admit it to herself was that Red would appreciate and like her gift.

That afternoon Red casually thanked her especially the Kit Kats, even complimented her on how she put the gift together with that note. Then he asked her where she got the poem. She replied, “Well, it’s not really a poem. But yeah, it’s kind of a poem, I guess. And well, I wrote it myself.” She was babbling sheepishly.

“Wow. Cool. But I thought I read it somewhere.”

“Well, I’ve been giving the same note to my manitos and manitas,” she finally admitted.

“Oh, okay,” was all Red replied before he shrugged and walked on.

The Christmas Party went on pretty smoothly. Just like last year. Nothing much remarkable happened except that John Michael received a gift from Red. The two practically exchanged gifts with each other, making it the most memorable Christmas party for John Michael. The guy practically never even cared that he was the unwanted during the drawing for the exchange gifts. It looked like he even forgot about it. June was not lying when she hinted Nicky she was her Chris Cringle. Nicky received a brand new copy of To Kill a Mockingbird and already figured how she’d gonna spend the Christmas vacation—aside from babysitting her kid siblings—she’d be reading for the entire break. She knew she’d finish the book in one sitting, especially when she’d already read it. She then told June beforehand that she’d be borrowing more books from her for the Christmas break. June already told her she could borrow her latest purchase, The Hunger Games Trilogy.

Nicky did not mind hearing Frank’s complaint on the pair of black socks she gave him. Josh even commented maybe Frank should hang them at his door, and maybe Santa would drop something in them. But Frank replied the socks were too ugly he’d be more than embarrassed to hang them at his door, let alone wear them.

The Christmas program was held in the afternoon and each year levels had some intermission number to present. Nicky tried her best to be enthusiastic with the event especially that she was, as usual, the one hosting.

Red and the principal did their Christmas duet, and they sure were a delight to watch. But Nicky had somehow learned not to be delighted anymore. She just watched at the presentation as detached as she could. And the entire time, she was only staring at the wall behind Red and Mrs. Duhaylungsod, noting how the letterings posted on it were actually a bit skewed and the glitters were too many they’d been blinding to stare at.

Finally, it was over. Noticing the sighs and the swooning eyes of most of the girls in the audience, Nicky realized Red had officially become the school’s heartthrob crooner. And then she figured he had always been. But back then she was not paying any mind at all. She had not been one of those girls going giddy over him. The thought was kind of sick to her stomach. Have I become one of those girls now? She cringed at her seat. Could I really like him because he’s so good at singing and darn it—even looks good while singing? Could that be all that I like about him?

And then, she heard it again, inside her head. His words. “You don’t really like me. You don’t even know me well enough to like me.”

Fine. I really don’t know him well enough. Not even knew his birthday was on the 16th. But how can he be so sure to say it in my face that I don’t really like him? Nicky exhaled a long breath. She knew already not to over-think on things especially things about him. But then it hit her—she saw it. Him. An object of affection or probably fondness to those girls. They saw him as that heartthrob crooner—a mere  heartthrob crooner—not really him as wholly him. As Red. Or whoever he is.

There was a mocking smile forming on her lips as she finally looked at him while he was bowing to the applauding crowd loud with screaming girls. She was shaking her head slowly as she continued to look at him. And it was that moment she figured he was not that stupid after all. He was actually more than what she’d given him credit for. He was even more stuck-up than she supposed.

An unsettling thought started to cloud in her head. Several questions wrestled inside. Do I seem just like those girls who are mooning over him? Is that what he thinks of me? Just like one of those girls? I’d never even wanted to be like those girls. I’ve already made up my mind about him since first year, and for almost my entire high school life, he’d never even cross my mind until that duet. I’m never am the one who’d fall for a guy just because he’s appealing. I’ve never wanted to be that low. Am I being low now? For liking him? Have I become one of those girls, now? Just one of those girls?

Her chest was getting heavy as a surge of emotions surged through her. She didn’t feel that sad anymore as anger or what seemed to be fury finally took over. She was not just angry with herself for even feeling like a fool over him, but also with him. She hated thinking he’d already made up his mind about her, too, the way she made up her mind about him years ago. She was starting to hate him for that. So I don’t you know that well, but don’t ever for a second think you have me all figured out already. Because you don’t know me well enough, too. She wanted to tell him. She would tell him.

And then it dawned her. Bitter! The taste of her own medicine had never been that much bitter. She realized she even might not be able to help it if she’d be bitter herself.

Hate!  That’s all that she needed to stop liking him—or probably—to stop feeling just like one of those girls over him.