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Chapter 26: Falling...or failing in love?

26 Falling...or failing in love?

June was laughing at Nicky after the latter finally poured out what she'd been feeling about Red, and what she thought about him recently. It was a day before Christmas, and Nicky had been hanging out at June's every late afternoon, chatting with June as she watched her played hoops at the backboard in their backyard.

"Don't hate him just because he's right," June said, laughing, as she dribbled her old grimy ball and then threw it at the board. The ball bounced at the board, hit the rim, and finally tipped its way into the net-less ring. "Don't also hate him 'cause he made a fool out of you," she added. "It's you who did that, by thinking too much. Now, what does that bring you? Pain!" She did not get her ball back as it bounced away. Instead, she finally joined Nicky moping on the old rickety wooden seat nearby.

"Shut up, June," Nicky then replied, regretting she'd shared her side of the story to her. She remembered Lois, and she was not really laughing at her that night at Red's birthday party. She was even comforting her. She was there for her. There as a friend, at that crucial time when she needed one. "I was actually hoping you'd be on my team. And maybe, I just really hope too much."

June was still laughing at her. "I'm sorry, okay. But isn't it a little unfair of you to hate him? I don't really think he had you all figured out. He's only not into you."

"I know he's not. But he also came across as if he had me figured out already."

"What made you say that? Is it because you don't want him to think that you kind of see him the same way those other girls see him-like there's sparkle in their eyes or something-kinda love-struck over him?"

Hearing it from the other person, especially from June and her patronizing tone was worse than she had thought. "I'm not even sure if I feel that way about him."

"But after he said that to you-that infamous line you can't get out of your head now -that you don't know me well enough to like me-you realized that's just maybe what you feel about him, don't you? And now, you're ashamed of yourself because you can't believe you're just one of those girls. So, you go on hating him now for that."

"Well, I don't care now if I'm being unreasonable. I finally find a reason to hate him, and I think it'd be easier now to dislike him from here on." She took a deep breath and then exhaled. "And pretty much, I'm sure I hate him, now," she hurriedly added.

June was still laughing at her. "You know, if I were him, I know what I'm gonna say to you-you don't even know me well enough to hate me, Nicky."

"Shut up, June!"

June laughed even harder. "You know, the more you talk about him, the more I kind of see him your way."

"Really? That's he's presumptuous, pompous and proud?"

June was smiling wryly as she shook her head. "That's just what you want to see in him, because that's not what you really see in him."

"Of course, it is. That's why it's easy to hate him now. Why do you sound so much like a shrink, anyway?"

"Do I? Since you think I sound like a shrink, then, why don't I give a crack at it?"

Nicky looked at June a little apprehensively.

"You're in stage two now in your cancer," June announced, looking somewhat serious.

"Cancer? I thought you're being a shrink."

"Isn't a shrink a doctor, too? Anyway, just go with it, okay. So, you're in stage 2 of the cancer-a cancer of the mind-or the heart for that matter-a cancer that I personally called-I can't believe I'm saying this-falling in love-if it turns out great-if otherwise-then it would turn into the dreaded-failing in love."