Kabanata 28
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"Hija... it doesn't matter now. He's forgotten her and loves you now. Magpapakasal na nga kayo, 'di ba?" Senyora pleaded.
Tears rolled down my cheeks and I closed my eyes. My father is inside the operating room. Ni hindi ko alam kung ayos lang ba siya o magiging maayos ba siya.
"Nawala siya, hija. K-Kaya... ikaw na ngayon ang gusto ni Uriel."
Senyora Domitilla continued. Inalu niya ako na ako na naman daw ang mahal ni Uriel at magpapakasal na raw kami. Kami naman ang nagkaintindihan. Ni hindi ko na makita ang tungkol sa kasal ngayon. All I want is for my father to be fine. I don't care about the wedding anymore.
Hindi lang iyon dahil nabaril si Papa. Dahil na rin iyon sa mismong totoo sa relasyon namin ni Uriel. How did I get involved here?
If he wanted Sean, why am I here? Hindi niya ba nahanap si Sean? Why didn't Sean find him, instead? Nasabi ni Senyora na nawala raw si Sean. Uriel seems like he's true to his feelings but did he try to find Sean? Kung oo, at hindi niya nahanap at kinalimutan ito, bakit niya ako minahal? Dahil kaya katunog ang pangalan naming dalawa?
It's impossible that Uriel loved Sean and forgot about her face. For sure he rememmbers her and he knows that we're not the same person. Inakala niya bang nagpanggap ako bilang si Sean? Sean used my name, right? So maybe he thought I was an impostor?
Kung ganoon, totoo bang mahal niya ako o may binabalak siya?
I refuse to believe that it's the latter. If he has fallen in love with me right now, after forgetting about Sean Tamayo, then what will his reaction if he sees her again?
Bukod pa riyan, ibig ba nitong sabihin nagsimula kami sa mali? I reminded him of someone else so maybe he fell into an illusion that I was the Sean he wanted.
I closed my eyes. Hindi ko na alam kung ilang oras kami sa labas ng operating room bago lumabas ang doktor para sabihing tapos na ang operasyon at magrerecover pa muna si Papa.
Si Mama na ang kausap ni Senyora ngayon, inaalo. Ang mga kapatid ko naman ang nag-aasikaso sa mga pulis.
"Umuwi ka muna," si Kuya Lucho.
Hindi ako sumagot. Ayaw kong umuwi. I feel like my life has paused and it will not return to normal anymore.
I am lucky that my father is alive but the thoughts about him in danger strained me to the core. Lalo na dahil kasalanan ko ang lahat ng iyon. Ako dapat ang binaril ni Sean, hindi siya.
I was then angry with her... Hindi pa rin siya natutugis. Sa dami ng mga nagtatangka sa pamilya ko dahil sa negosyo noon, ngayon pa lang may ganito! It was our most unguarded moment, in a spa, weeks before my wedding, and my parents trying to relax with me.
Tears rolled down my cheeks again. I then started crying profusely. Kanina ay tulala ako at tahimik na umiiyak pero ngayon hindi ko na kaya.
Niyakap ako ni Kuya Lucho. Sa pag-aalala, lumapit na rin si Mama sa akin at nakiiyak sa yakap.
"Ako dapat 'yong natamaan!" I said deperately.
"Shh..." si Kuya. "It's the suspect's fault, Cian. Don't blame yourself-"
"Don't fucking call me that!" I shouted, straining my voice.
Nakita kong pumasok si Senyora. Kinausap niya yata ang mga high ranking officials sa labas at mukhang nag-aalala siya kaya pumasok at lumapit.
That's when I realized what I should do. I am tired of thinking about it and weighing things to be rational. Si Senyora na mismo ang nagsabi sa akin, kailangan ko na lang ang kumpirmasyon ni Uriel.
