As simple as it can be

11. F*ck my life part 1

Millie's POV:
I was packing in my room, the tears still trying to fall. I tried to push them back, being already scared of the amount that I spilled. Sadie was doing the same as me, folding and putting the clothes in some bags. I had to take a break, because the thought of having to go to my own brother's funeral overwhelmed me too much. I still couldn't comprehend what was going to me.
Sadie saw that and came to comfort me. She sat down next to me, hugging me and telling that it was okay to cry. I knew she was right, but the tears just didn't want to fall anymore. It's like I was just numb, didn't feel anything but sadness and that sadness just overtook my body, making it very hard to just move. I could've just stayed in the same position staring into nothing for hours. My mind was just empty at this point, the thoughts that once filled my mind and my body with happiness were now gone. I tried thinking of anything, sad, happy, angry moment I had to just try and spark some sense of feeling. Suddenly, Mary came in the room, and when she saw me, she just ran to me and hugged me tightly.
"I'm extremely sorry Millie! I can't even imagine what you're going thru right now, but know that I'm here for you! I've known you for only two weeks, but I know you are the strongest girl I've ever met, and I promise you things will get better! You just have to think that your brother is in a better place now, where he can be happy. He's happy, I assure you! I know the whole situation, and I know that you and your family will be there for his wife and future child. Just think that that child is his memory, his print left into the world, the reminder that he loves you so much, and when you'll see her or his face, you'll remember about everything good he has done in this world, and it will be overwhelming, but with time, the wound will heal, and you'll feel him close again. Now, all I have to say is go to that funeral, cry as much as you want, and tell him what you wanted him to know. Get everything out, and Finn and Sadie will be right next to you to support you thru this! And the pain that you're feeling right now will only make you stronger! I'm here for you! Come on, let me give you a big hug and help you continue packing, because your mom is waiting for you to be there for her, and her to be there for you!" Mary told me, a very encouraging speech that really helped me, and then took me into her embrace for one more time before sitting up and pulled me by my hand to go and pack the rest of the things I needed.
"Thank you, Mary, truly. I think she's better now, and it's all for you! I'm really grateful for you wise mind right now!" Sadie told Mary. (that was kind of a general pov, because Millie wasn't supposed to hear it, so yeah, I guess you figured lol)
"No problem, I'm really happy I could help in any way. And you too, whenever you need my help, I'm one call away. No matter what time it is!" Mary responded.
"Okay, now I have to continue to get ready myself. In an hour we have to be at the airport, I looked at the flights, and the soonest one leaves in 3 hours." Sadie informed us.
"Well, I'm ready, I'll just go see if Finn is ready and to tell him about the flight. See you guys later." I said, the smile still not existing on my face.
I went to Finn's room. I knocked, and after a few seconds, he answered.
"Hi. I just wanted to check if you were ready. We're leaving in an hour." I said, going into the room.
"I'm almost ready, if you want to, you can help me, but it's your choice." He suggested.
"Yeah, it'll be a good distraction. I can maybe steal one of you sweatshirts for the flight." I said, smiling sadly to him.
"Yes, you can take whatever you want." He said, kissing my cheek.
"Thank you. Seriously, for everything you've done already. You have known me for only 3 weeks and you're doing this, it's seriously so kind of you."
"Millie, I'll do anything for you, and being there for you isn't that hard. You are so sweet and strong, but I understand you need the support, because it's normal, and I'll be here thru anything. We both have something in common: past trauma, and that makes me understand how life can get you down, and I'm in for it all." he said.
I just cupped his cheeks and connected our lips that were longing for each other for some time now. Everything disappeared for a second, all the problems were resolved and I was happy for the time we were touching. But when he pulled away, all the weight that was lifted with the kiss came right back on me.
He just smiled at me and looked deep into my eyes, before hugging me like his life depended on it, and I did the same.
After we pulled away, we continued our work.
The luggage was all ready, so we went back to my room. I got mine, Sadie took hers and we were on our way to the airport.
We got in the airport, went to buy the tickets, being lucky to find the last ones, only 2 more being left. We waited a little, but certainly not two hours, because the plane left earlier. We took our places, and ironically enough, Finn sat by accident in my booked seat, but it didn't really matter, because we bought really random ones, but the good thing was that we were sitting next to each other. I couldn't have left the ground. When we begun detaching from the ground, i squeezed Finn's hand.
After they said that we could now unbuckle our seatbelts, that's when i decided they couldn't tell us anything important anymore, so i just fell asleep on Finn's shoulder. I felt him putting his coat on me like a blanket and i smiled to myself a little bit.
When i woke up, a fresh pretzel was waiting for me, and i truly smiled and started laughing a little bit. I looked at him and he was sleeping. I just stared at him, absorbing his features. He was very handsome. And then, i looked at Sadie, who was sleeping peacefully, too. They were probably exhausted, and i was too, but i couldn't worry about them at the moment. I was only thinking about my mom having to deal with his son's death and to see her ex husband after 5 years. She was probably in a horrible state, but i knew when i would get to her, we would comfort each other and we'll get thru everything together. I knew what was coming wasn't going to be easy at all, but having two of the best people right beside me, I knew everything will be okay. And what Mary said really helped me, and I knew it was okay to get everything out, to cry, to feel nothing, and knowing that it will get better put some hope into the situation and made me feel worth living again. And about Charlie, he is definitely in a better place right now, and I want to make him proud, for him to see that he will always be in my heart right there with me, and his baby will grow up and be loved for his whole life. When life hits you, you come back even stronger than before and slap it in its face.

A/N Hello luvs! So, this is part one of their sad trip. It'll get worse and I'm sorry, but that's how it goes. But after it gets worse, it gets better, just like life. Remember guys to be strong and to know that this girl behind the screen writing this story is here for you and loves you with all her heart! And whatever is going on, I promise it will get better with time. Just like Mary said, the wounds always heal, and it will be okay! I love you so so so much and thank you for reading! xx