As simple as it can be

12. F*ck my life part 2

Millie's POV:

The plane landed in LA. I was thinking of visiting that place in a weekend to surprise my mom, but I couldn't do that anymore. I was scared of seeing my mom in that state. I knew that when I would see her, I would break down. But I knew if we were together, we could be there for each other. I was scared of seeing my dad, too, but not because I knew he was sad, because I haven't seen him or heard his voice in 5 years. I should've been excited to see him, but because of the circumstances and that fact that he left me in the worst time of my life, more specifically, my teenage life starting, I hated him. I knew he was still my dad and I couldn't just decide to hate him, but I did. He left me, which was the reason that made me think he didn't actually love me. If he had called or even texted, maybe I wouldn't feel like that about him, but given the situation, I did.

I decided in that moment that I wouldn't be thinking about him anymore, I would only worry about my mom and my siblings, and of course, Katie and her future baby.

We finally got off the plane after waiting for the people to clear the path a little bit. We got out of the airport and rented a car. Finn decided to drive, and Sadie just sat with me in the backseats, holding me tightly. I was just staring out the window, observing what changed since I left, but that was not much. The streets were filled with people, the city was as colorful as I left it, and everything was just right where I left it. I loved that city, and I would've been far more excited to be back if it wasn't related to my brother's death.

Sadly, it was time to see my mom. I was happy to see her, because I missed her, but again, I was afraid she wasn't the same at all. I climbed out of the car. Finn saw I was very stressed out, so he took my hand in his and gave a reassuring squeeze. I had to face this fear, and just go in. I went up to the door. When I reached out my hand to knock, I couldn't wrap myself around the thought of seeing my mom. I just started crying in that moment.

"Hey, you can do this! You are the strongest girl I've ever met! I know this is scary, but your mom needs you and you need her, so you have to swallow the pain and fear and go in. And Finn and I are right here next to you! You are in the best hands!" Sadie told me, encouraging me sweetly.

I inhaled sharply and did it. I knocked on that door. Minutes after, the same door opened to reveal my little sister. She was obviously not very aware of the situation, because she was only 5 years old, but I didn't say anything, because I knew mom probably didn't tell her what happened yet.

"Millie!!!!!" she shouted loudly, and jumped into my arms.

"Ava, I've missed you so much, you have no idea. Am I having visions, or have you grown a little since I last saw you?" I said, smiling at her like nothing happened. I couldn't let her feel the same as me, not yet.

"You are right! I did grow a little! Mom measured it, and it's true!" she said.

"Sadie, my favorite person, after my family of course!" Ava said, running into Sadie's embrace.

"I haven't seen you in so long! We have to catch up to everything!" Sadie told her, making Ava laugh. Her laugh was such a great thing to hear in that moment. It just brightened up my day a little bit.

"Who is this?" Ava asked, scrunching her eyebrows.

"Well, hello there young lady, my name is Finn! I'm a friend of your sisters" Finn introduced himself.

"Oh, really, are you a friend or her boyfriend?" she said, very childishly.

"Ava, it's actually a very long story and now I have to go see mom, so please if you accept my offer to tell you later, okay?" I told her, hoping she would say yes.

"Okay, but promise me you'll tell me!"

"I promise! And if I forget, Sadie will surely tell you! Now please, show me the way to our mother." I told her, getting a little nervous.

"Yes, right this way, but I have to warn you, she was been very sad and I saw her crying a few times. I got worried and I asked her why she was crying, but she told me it was nothing. Please, tell me if there's anything wrong with mommy." Ava said, with puppy dog eyes and a frown.

I just wanted to start crying right there, hearing all of those things fall from my little sister's mouth, but I knew I couldn't. I had to protect her, and that what I was doing. She'll find out eventually.

She just continued to show me the way to mom's room. When she came into view, I saw how sad she was. She had her cheeks red and stained from the tears, and her under-eye area was all puffy.

That's when I just ran to her and gave her a big hug.

"Oh Millie, you're home. I didn't want you to see me like this, but I didn't know when you would be here. I missed you so much. How are you?" she asked, obviously staring crying softly.

"I'm not doing really great, but I can't imagine how you must be feeling. But now, I'm here and I will be here for you! And together we'll get through this, I promise, because the brown gals do not give up, they keep fighting, and together, we are the strongest. We got through the dad phase, and now we'll be there for Katie and everyone." I told her, trying to make her and myself feel better.

"You are so strong Millie! Thank you! Now will you help me please pack, because we have to fly as soon as possible." She asked me.

"Yes, of course, but first, you have to meet Finn!" I said, pointing to his direction.

"Hello! It is so nice to meet you! Thank you for taking care of my daughter! I really appreciate it!" she said, shaking his hand.

"It's nice to meet you, too, and it's no problem." Finn told her.

"Well, I suggest you, Sadie and Ava go into her room, and you will catch Ava up with everything until I'm finished here with mom. Sounds good? Oh and first, Ava, please show Finn around the house!" I told the three.

"Sure, come on Finnie!" she said, making all of us laugh. She was such a goof, and I loved her so much.

"So, tell me first about Finn, it'll be a good distraction, and then tell me about how's New York!" my mom told me, starting to gather the clothes she needed for Canada.

"Ok, so with Finn, it was weird because at first I met him on the plane to NYC, and he was sitting in my seat, and then he moved, and we started talking. It came into discussion something about his family and he just started crying, and me not being the best at comforting people, I just hugged him. After that we fell asleep, and when I woke up, he had bought me pretzel, so I ate it and we talked, until the plane landed. Then, when I saw Sadie in the airport, I just ran to her happily, and by the time I turned around Finn was gone. We got to the dorm, and my other roomie, named Mary, is one of his best friends, and that's how we met again. In that evening we all went to a restaurant, including me, Sadie, Mary, Finn, three other friends of his, and I met Lilia there, and she came with us and brought a friend. I saw that Sadie and Lilia had some kind of thing, which was really cute!"

"Aww, that's so nice. I'm happy for her! And is Lilia your friend from England?"

"Yes. You won't believe how grown up she looks now. I almost didn't recognise her! Ok, after the dinner, i don't remember exactly, but I think me or Finn, I don't know, suggested we could go for another round of pretzels, I think Finn, because he said he knew a really good place. I accepted, of course. Next day, we went, we got them, then we got some cinnabons, and he took me to the roof of the coffee shop he works at. It was beautiful. After a week, I thought I needed to repay him for all the pretzels, so I organized myself a date. It was a picnic. We got there, he was amazed by what I did, and then we ate, talked, and after we were playing some kind of game, like a Q/A and we ended up kissing, and it was magical! I felt all lovie-dovie for the first time in a long time!" I said, smiling at recalling the previous events, which made me actually happy.

"That is so cute! I'm happy for you Millie! I really am! And as you said, we will get through this, too, because we are strong! We can do this!" she said, and we just stayed hugging and crying on each other's shoulders.

A/N Hello everyone! This is part 2 of F*ck my life. I hope you liked it! I promise this sadness will end sometime soon in the future! Thank you for reading and love you all! xx