As simple as it can be

19. You scared me

Millie's POV:

I was in Finn's hospital room right next to him. Holding his hand, I started to remember all of our good memories together. He always made me so much happier and my day so much brighter. I had to do something to bring him back to me and show him how much he actually means to me.

He was still connected to those fucking machines, that helped him stay alive. I should've been more thankful for them, but I wasn't. I just wasn't feeling grateful for anything in that low moment. Finn has been in the same peaceful sleep for a week. A whole week without seeing him smile, or hearing his sweet voice, or feeling his lips on mine.

I did try to kiss him, but it was no point. Every time I tried to make contact, I received the same response. nothing. He was as still as a glass window. I hoped he could hear me, because I tried to tell him little stories and whispered sweet thought into his year, and I really hoped he could hear me. Unfortunately, I couldn't find out the truth.

I was at the hospital all the time. I wanted to be the first one he sees when he wakes up. I wanted to be the first one he would lay eyes on when they opened. And if anything bad happened, which was very unlikely, I wanted to be there to make sure I could say goodbye and kiss his lips one last time. But I didn't want to think like that. The doctors told me it was a long process and anything could happen, but he was in a pretty good state, so the chances of something bad happening were low. I counted on that, I really did.

"Don't you dare leave me alone in this cruel world. I can't live without you. I've only known you for two months, and the affect you have on me is unnatural. It's not normal, and everyone knows that. This was fate that brought us together. The love that I feel for you is out of this world, and I can't stand the fact that you could leave me. So that's why I won't accept it. I won't let you go, I will keep holding onto your hand until I feel you squeeze back. Promise me you'll squeeze back. Take your time, no one is rushing you, but promise, one sunny day, that you will squeeze this hand as hard as you can!" I told him, fighting the tears that are meant to fall.

They were there, right in the corner of my eye, seeking to fall, to fall down my soft cheek that was once touched softly by the man that I love who stood right in front of me. And when they would get down, they would fall unknowingly onto the cold tilled floor of that stupid hospital I have been constantly in for a week. And then, they would dry as time passed, and would become one with the floor. But first, they needed my permission to fall, and that would be very hard to get, because my brain knew that once they fell, other hundreds of thousands of those would continue to fall, and then the sadness would occur my soul even more, and for the sake of my curly headed lover, I didn't want that to happen. I knew he would want me to be okay, not happy, not sad, but okay. If something would happen, I already knew what he would think and say: "Just go live your life. With or without me, you still have a life, and you need to live it to the fullest, because you don't know when something like this can happen and all of your achievements and feelings are gone by a second. You need to find love again, marry, have lots of kids, and be happy. And when you're old and on your death bed holding onto the love of your life, you can think of me, too. Call me up when you get up there. Maybe, we can restart. Get a blank sleight."

The thought of that really fucked me up, because oh well, I let the stupid tears fall. The thought of him saying those things broke my heart. So I let those freaking tears fall, and I thought I heard them laughing in my face. They won, I lost, I gave into the darkness. But sometimes, the tears felt good. The tears helped me realize I need them to fall. That was the way of letting it all out. I wouldn't be able to get through all of the pain without some tears spilled. So that's what I did. I gave into the darkness to find the light again. You know what they say: "You can't have a rainbow without a little rain" and that is what I based my whole soul onto. I wanted to find the rainbow. the rainbow.

I held again onto his hand, and I started kissing it everywhere. Every little inch felt the touch of my crusty lips. And when holding onto it, I felt a light movement. My head flew up and my eyes opened wide.

I looked like I just saw a ghost, but when my eyes met his face, they started spilling the tears again. But this time, they weren't the tears of sadness and misery, they were happy tears. You probably wondered, what the hell happened that changed those tears all of a sudden. Well, the answer is simple. The love of my life just opened his eyes again. Those beautiful dark eyes that had the whole universe into them. The key to knowing all the secrets that the world hid. Those eyes that I was so disparate to fall into. They opened. They freaking opened.

My body rushed over to his face and the first instinct was to kiss his lips immediately. So I did. I always listen to my first instinct. It has the best intentions. Because the others that come after that were over thought. And you know that overthinking is the worst enemy a human can have. their own mind and conscience.

I saw Finn was confused and scared, but then, I felt the warmness. The warmness that came from his heart. The heart that was finally reconnected to mine.

"I'm so happy you're awake. I'm so happy you're okay. I'm so happy you're alive. I'm so happy right now!" I said, kissing his face everywhere.

I heard him chuckle, that fucking chuckle that made me love him even more. That chuckle was the signal he was back. He was actually back and alive and okay.

"You have no idea how scared I was! I fucking hate you for doing that to me, but I still love you with all my heart, so it's fine." I told him.

"I'm sorry my love, I promise I won't do it again. And I love you so so much, too. Come here!" he said, before opening his arms for me to get in.

I did what he asked me to do and we stayed like that for a while, but then the door was suddenly opened with a lot of force by a doctor who came very scared into the room. I jumped up and distanced from the patient.

"I'm so sorry doctor, he just woke up, I'm so sorry I didn't call you!" I said, almost crying, because I was very emotional at the time.

"It's fine, will you please exit the room because I have to make sure everything is fine. Call your friends maybe. They probably want to see him, too!" he suggested.

"Of course! I'm sorry again!" I said, before exiting the room. I saw Finn smile at me, and that made me calm down and leave with my mind at peace. He was okay. He was safe.

I called Mary, and after 15 minutes, all of them were there waiting with me for the doctor to confirm that he was safe and we could go see him.

That was exactly what happened after half an hour, and we all ran to his room. When they saw him, they all jumped up and then gave him all a big group hug. I had to take a picture of this beautiful moment, so I stayed back and did so. They were all very happy that our Finnie was finally awake and doing good.

"We were all very worried. You have to keep it down with the stress Finnie, it kills you, quite literally." I told him, everyone agreeing.

"You're right. I should probably give up the job at the coffee shop for a little while and relax a little bit." He said, and we all nodded and laughed at some stupid joke Gaten said.

They let Finn go after another week in the hospital. He was clearly still very weak, so we helped him with everything. He always told us that he could do everything by himself, but we just ignored him. Mary sat down with him and told him that we just want him to be okay and to not die, we want his best. We knew he wanted to prove he was capable of doing all those things, but that wasn't needed in that moment.

A month and a half passed, and he was finally doing great again. He almost fully healed and he was back on his feet. Going to school only, because we wouldn't let him go to the coffee shop. We went on some dates, just casual, nothing special, we bought pretzels, A LOT, we kissed a lot, we did all the things we used to do together, and we kept on falling harder for each other.

We were crazy for each other. We couldn't spend on minute apart without missing each other way too much. It was crazy. But you know what they say: "Love makes you crazy".

A/N OMG I freaking love this chapter so much. WOW, I mean, it was just great, you have to admit it. It was freaking amazing. I loved writing this sm, I hope you like it as much as I do. Please let me know. Thank you so much for reading! I love you all so much! <333 xx