Let Me Show You

42. Lost

"Dakota where have you been?" Lara yells pushing past the boys to get to me. Everyone is screaming at me but I can barely hear anything. All I can hear is the fast beats of my heart thudding against my chest. 

I push past everyone and run straight into the tour bus bathroom, locking the door behind me. I collapse on the cold floor. My hand reaches up to my locket, which I rip off my neck and throw across the room, leaving just my thoughts to harm me.

Maybe Kiara was just confused and thought that she was reading that, but really wasn't. If she knew I liked him before, maybe she just put the pieces together herself. That makes sense right?

Or, Lillie really has ruined  my life and I'm about lose everything I care for. And everyone. 

The guys are banging on the door and twisting the knob like crazy, but thankfully the door is strong enough to keep them out. I push myself to my feet and lean over the sink. I cup my hands and fill them with cold water to splash on my face.

I quickly dry my face with a paper towel and then swing open the door to see everyone standing there with worried faces.

"You didn't-" Luke starts looking down at my clean wrists.

"No" I firmly speak. "Someone better tell me what the hell is happening or I'm going to lose my shit."

"Come and sit down and we-"

"No" I repeat. "Tell me right now."

Everyone hesitates but Lara finally steps in. "Lillie, who everyone knows used to have a thing with Luke, called every journalist she could until one finally agreed to meet with her. She told them everything she knew about you two being together and the journalist, obviously published it online."

"The whole 5SOS family is going crazy" Michael whispers looking down at his shoes.

"So management is going to kick me and Lara out then?" I ask, my voice slightly trembling.

"Most likely" Ashton says after everyone else remains quiet.

"Even if they don't, you're life is going to be complete and total hell" Calum says, getting the death glare from the others. "It's true" he shrugs and I instantly think of Sophia and Harry.

"I think I might throw up" I manage to say before my hand reaches up to cover my mouth. I run into the bathroom, closing the door behind me and throw up all the hot cocoa Kiara gave me into the sink. 

I wash my mouth with water until the taste is gone and I can finally breathe again. I rush out of the bathroom and straight to my suitcase.

"I gotta get out of here" I quietly say to Lara as she comes over to me alone. I shove all my stuff into my suitcases and grab my computer. I quickly purchase a one way, last minute ticket and upload the information onto my phone before throwing the computer into my suitcase.

I text Kiara asking if she could drive me to the nearest airport and she responds immediately saying she will bring the car to the tour bus in five minutes.

"Kota please don't do this" Luke whispers grabbing my only free hand. "We can make it through this!"

"Luke stop" I snap, not looking at him. "We both know that it's just not going to work out. I'm sorry!"

"Where are you even going to go?" He demands rubbing my arm. I pull my hand from his and grab the remainder of my stuff.

"Away from here" I tremble walking towards the door. 

"Please Kota, stop" Luke begs following me out the door. "I can fix this!"

"Stop lying to yourself Luke... It's over" I finally manage to say as Kiara pulls up next to me. I load my stuff in the back seat while Luke paces back and forth outside.

"You're not even going to say goodbye to the others?" I don't respond and instead open the front door slipping into the car. I roll down the window and look at Luke for the first time. His face is badly swollen and wet from his tears. "Please don't!"

I take a deep breathe in as my eyes begin to water and everything becomes blurry.

"Dakota, I love you" he quivers reaching through the window to grab my hand one last time.

"I love you Luke." I lift my hand pushing his back to himself as a tear rolls down my face. I turn and nod at Kiara and she drives away leaving Luke kneeling on the pavement. I choke as more tears fall down my face and we drive off into the distance.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I haven't touched my phone or computer in days.

I haven't needed to.

I've been able to survive on my own for much longer than I predicted. 

Before I went offline, I contacted Lara. I told her that I was fine and that I hoped she was happy. She said she went to my parents house and that I wasn't there. I told her I was somewhere special. I was lost.

I said I was sorry for not having a proper goodbye but that someday, I hoped we would be re-united. She was everything I needed her to be, and more and I was sorry for leaving her.

She told me that Niall had taken her under his wing and that she was fine and so thankful that I gave her the opportunity to be with him.

I ensured her that I was fine and that when I was ready, I would find my way out.

I didn't ask about Luke. I didn't want to know.

It's been around two weeks... I think. I've lost track of the days and haven't needed to get back on track.

When me and Kiara got to the airport I hugged her for about ten minutes before boarding the plane and flying back to Britain. Instinctively, I went straight to the place where me and Luke first met. The lake.

I remembered a small, empty cabin up there and made that my home. Short trips to the grocery store every week supply me with the food and other supplies that I need.

I spend most of my time going through pictures I've taken over the tour. Crying. Laughing. Smashing. Silently watching the computer screen.

In the beginning I missed everyone so much that it hurt to move. Now at least I can-

My thoughts are abruptly stopped as I hear the sound of someone unlocking the door to the small cabin. My heart stops beating as I clutch tightly to the bat in my hand. 

"What the hell" a female voice whispers as she storms into the cabin. "Is there someone here-"

"I'D STAND BACK IF I WERE YOU" I yell raising the bat next to me as I wait around the corner. The girl rushes down the hallway, her footsteps getting louder as she gets closer and closer to me. I hear her breathing right around the corner and I step forwarding yelling as I swing the bat forward.

The girl yells along with me as she dodges my swing and her pink hair goes flying through the air. My screaming fades as I realize who it is.

"Iz?"

"Kota?"

**wow it's been a while.... x**