Tricks Of Passion

Chapter 30

All I could think was Jax has officially lost his mind. And apparently I have too. Standing in the full length mirror I admire the wedding dress I'm wearing. After all I did pick it out. It stopped right above my knees, the top part all lace. "You look beautiful."

I spin around, glaring at him. "It's bad luck to see the bride before her wedding." It's also bad luck to force someone to marry you, but I wasn't gonna say that out loud.

"Relax," He drawls, creeping closer to me. "I don't believe in that stuff, do you?" I didn't, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I kept silent instead.

Facing the mirror again, I smooth my hands down the fabric. The dress was beautiful, but I felt like a phoney wearing it. This wedding wasn't real and neither were our feelings. This is all so he can get my families mafia. Which I would've happily given him without all of this.

I didn't want to real a mafia. I wanted to go back to my life, before I met Jax. When I was desperate for a job and eating cheeseburgers. My eyes connect with his in the mirror, he's watching me too, a contemplating look on his face. "What are you thinking about?" I find myself asking.

His head tilts, eyes closing for a second. "I never saw myself getting married. Just taking over the mafia from my father when the time came. But now..." He pause."When I look at you, I don't know what I want. Well I do, I still want the mafia." His eyes glare, a heat in them. "I want you by side, and not under false pretense."

I stiffen. "What do you mean?"

His arms circle around my waist. "It took me a while to work through my feelings, wondering why I'm so desperate with forcing you into marrying me." He sighs."I lied about having to get married to take over the mafia, no surprise, I lie a lot." My body heats up, his words doing something to me. Was he confessing he had feelings for me? "I don't plan on ever letting another male have you, so why not just marry you? I've decided you're mine."

My heart skips several beats. "A-are you saying you have feelings for me?" I squeak, face redding. I'd hate to be reading into this wrong. But Jax having real feelings for me? I can't wrap my mind around it.

"I'm saying," He starts, "I love you." Spinning me around he crash his lips to mine. My eyes widen, taking in his words. But that's all I can do, I can't think when he's kissing me and I think that's his goal. To make me stop thinking. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him closer. My lips part, letting him in without asking. He groans, tongue slipping into my mouth.

His hands go to my hips and he lifts me, carrying me to the vanity. Knocking everything on the floor, he places me on top. Not breaking the kiss for one second. Nudging my knees apart, he settles in between them.

We break apart for only a second, before devouring each other again. Faintly I hear music, but I can't make out where it's from. When we pull apart again, we're both breathing heavily. He stares into my eyes, a look of love and protection in them. "We don't have to go through this if you don't want too. It doesn't have to happen today or tomorrow, but it will happen. You can accept it now or later." His face is serious, but there's a crack in his facade. He's nervous, he knows he hasn't been the nicest, most caring person to me and knows I have every right to reject his offer. To smack him and tell him to fuck off.

For the first time since meeting Jax he's vulnerable. And this vulnerability makes me think long and hard. Seconds ago I didn't believe either of us had feelings, but now I realize I was lying to myself. I've had feelings for him ever since that day in the diner. It was just a crush then, but now it's flared into more.

A loud knock sounds on the door. "What the hell are you guys doing? The wedding has started and everyone is waiting for you two. Hell I'm not standing at the alter for another second!" Damian rages on the other side. I laugh silently, making Jax smirk.

"We'll be done in a minute." Jax yells back, not stepping away from me.

"Done with what? Are you guys having sex?" There's amusement in his voice now and I roll my eyes.

"Fuck off!" We both hear him laugh and his footsteps retreating. "I'm afraid we're running out of time. I need your answer." I gulp, looking away. He stiffens between my legs. "I understand." Grabbing my arms he removes them from around him, hell I forgot they was even there. "I'll go get rid of everyone." I watch him walk stiffly to the door, my mind reeling.

He wants to marry me here and now, so why am I afraid to go through with it? Maybe it's time I start taking risks, sure getting married to someone on a whim is a huge risk. But I love Jax. My eyes widened at the confession, not sure when my feelings went from hate to love. But it's like they always say, there's a thin line between love and hate. His hands wrap around the knob and I snap out of it.

"I love you too." I whisper, so quietly I'm not sure he hears. But he stops, not turning around.

"What?" I know he heard me the first time, but in good old Jax fashion he can't help but tease me.

"I said I love your bullying ass." He turns, a smirk already in place.

Holding a hand out, he grins at me. "Then let's go get married."