My Place- Randall Carpio Love Story

My life is the cause

"I remember the night you said the oath. After Cassie, after she-" There was a soft pause. Remi shifted uncomfortably as she settled into her seat. She had wanted to come to the den for some quiet while she studied for her next statistics exam, but the soft voice of Hamish sifted up from the basement. She knew she wasn't suppose to listen in, but she couldn't help it. There was something to Hamish's voice that intrigued her. So, despite knowing better, she set her books on her lap and listened. "You, me and Randall got drunk. We crashed out and you spent all night down here carving your name on that trunk. I was so mad at you for defacing it. But then I figured, Cassie's dead. It's hers now. Let her do what she wants."

"That's what everyone does anyways," Lilith tried for stern, but Remi could hear the vulnerability behind it. Even from upstairs she could hear it, clear as day.

"I'm saying not all change is bad." 

There was a pause long enough for Remi to think the conversation was over. She was grateful for it, she knew how they would feel if they found out she could hear everything. 

"We never should have taken Jack in." Lilith started again. 

Remi furrowed her brows, then closed her eyes and let out a gentle breath. 

"He doesn't need this," Lilith explained lowly. "Not like we do."

Remi's shoulders pulled back as her back straightened up. Not like we do.

"No one needs this, Lil." Hamish told her. He sounded concerned, and slightly abashed by Lilith's confession. 

"I need this," There was an absolute to Lilith's voice. A certainty that clenched Remi's heart and threatened to tear it from her chest. "I don't even know who I was before this," 

Confession after confession, and it made Remi regret coming to the den for the quiet. This was a conversation between Hamish and Lilith. No one else. Yet, here she was, hearing every painful, vulnerable word. 

"I gave my life to the cause," Lilith's voice filled with adoration and pain. Remi had never heard such emotion come from Lilith- or if she did, it had only been anger. "And what the fuck am I supposed to do if the cause won't take it?"

"Keep living," Hamish's answer came out startled. He was just as surprised by her emotion as Remi was. 

There was another pause, then Remi heard heavy footsteps. 

"Where are you going?" Hamish asked her sternly. 

"Out," With Lilith's vague answer came the stomping of her feet over the steps. 

Remi stood up from the seat. All of her books clattered to the ground right as Lilith walked into the foyer. Remi opened her mouth to explain, but the murderous glint to Lilith's eyes told her she didn't want an explanation. 

She ignored Remi entirely as she moved towards the front door. Remi left her books and her bag as she jogged into the foyer. Lilith was stripping her shirt over her head. The pure muscle along her back and shoulders pulsed with her lively anger. 

"Let me come with you. You shouldn't go out there alone and angry," She proposed. 

Lilith scoffed as she threw her shirt to the ground. 

"I... I know what it's like to be aimless," She confessed. Her fists clenched and loosened by her side. 

Lilith froze as she glared at Remi over her shoulder. "Bullshit."

Remi shook her head. "It's true, when I was four I almost died." She rushed the words out before Lilith gave up on her entirely. She saw Lilith's eyes soften just a bit. It was enough for her to go on. "Afterwards, my parents were suffocating. They treated me like I would break at the slightest thing." She let a breath out as she watched the hesitance lower Lilith's shoulders. "As I grew up they realized I wasn't going to die at a whim, but that fear was instilled in me. I was constantly terrified... of everything... until this-" She pointed at her feet. "I lived my whole life in fear that I could die, or that I could be sick again and my parents would have to once again face the fear of losing their only baby. But then I became a Knight, and that fear vanished." Remi licked her lips as she moved around to the front Lilith. Her eyes moved over Lilith's still face. "I needed this too, Lilith, I promise. This-" Her eyes floated up as she gave a breathy smile. "I have lived more in this past month and a half than I have in my entire life."