𝗕𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗦 ✷ chris evans

s i x t y

The whole ride to New York was nerve wracking. He couldn't imagine how she was going to react to this news, he didn't want to imagine how she was going to react. A few fans asked to take pictures with him and he almost said no because of how anxious he was. He could feel his heart in his throat and he clutched the handle of his suitcase before placing four firm knocks on the door.

He could almost throw up when he saw her. He felt so goddamn guilty as she jumped into his arms, placing kisses all over his clean shaven face. "I missed you so much." She grinned into the crook of his neck, holding her arms around him.

"I missed you too, honey." Maybe he could spend a few hours with her before letting the truth out.

"Dodge missed you." Emily smiled, after she had pulled back, her hands still on his neck. She scratched the nape of his neck like she knew he loved. She tilted her head, noticing how unhappy he was. "Babe, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" Her hands fell, sliding down his chest and resting her fingers at the top of his jeans.

"What?" He blinked, before moving his hands up to either side of her face, cupping her cheeks "no, god no. I'm sorry, I'm just a little off from the flight."

She stood up on her tiptoes and placed a sweet kiss in his lips. The feeling was heaven after weeks of loneliness. She breathed into the kiss and she clutched his, grey, skintight shirt at the waist.

Chris groaned when she pulled her soft lips away from him. "We have to be quiet." She announced, her hands slipping underneath his shirt. They were warm. "The babies are sleeping."

He shook his head and let out a low chuckle. "Fuck, I've missed you." He placed both hands on her waist and effortlessly lifted her, wrapping her legs around him. She ran her fingers through his hair, leaning back down to kiss him, stopping just in front of his face.

"Seriously though, I don't want the babies to wake up."

He laughed and walked into the apartment, holding her up with one hand and pulling in his suitcase with the other, before shutting the door with his foot. "We'll be quiet then."

After a while of... fonduing... the couple laid in bed, breathing heavily. Chris had his arm under Emily's neck and over her shoulder as she used both of her hands to mess with his fingers. "That was..." Emily breathed

"Needed." Chris finished with a chuckle. He let out a sigh and frowned, knowing he needed to tell her eventually. The longer he kept this, the worse it would be. This wasn't exactly the best time, but then again, when would be the best time? "Em..." he started, his nerves growing again. "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"I think we should get... Uh decent, first." He suggested, making Emily laugh.

"Yeah, okay." She threw on some pyjamas, while Chris just pulled on some of his sweatpants Emily had been wearing while he was away. She sat cross legged in the bed and furrowed her eyebrows. "What's wrong? What do you need to tell me?"

He took a deep breath and looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers. "Emily, there's no easy way to tell you this..."

"You didn't cheat on me, did you?" She joked with a smile

"Yes."

"What?" Her smile immediately dropped and she felt a crushing pain in her chest. No, not again.

"No! I didn't..." he corrected himself, running a hand through his already messy hair. "I didn't cheat on you."

"But you just said-"

"I almost... cheated on you." He continued, looking at her through his long, thick eyelashes.

She looked at him in shock, the only word she could push out being a simple "Why?"

"God, I don't know, Emily." He sighed, standing up from the bed. She put his hands on his bare hips and looked down at his feet "I'm an idiot. I was lonely. I missed you." He bit down hard on his lip and closed his eyes. "I couldn't do it. I called her, heard her voice... and realised how fucking stupid I was for even thinking about it. I hung up and hated myself ever since."

"Her as in...?"

"Erin."

"Right..."

"Emily... I'm so sorry. I told Anthony and- and Sebastian and they told me if I didn't tell you, they would... and I knew you'd hate me even more than you already do now if it came from them and not me."

"I don't hate you..." she whispered.

"What?"

"I don't hate you." She looked up from her lap and smiled, weakly. "I'm tired of hating people and I get why you did it. I almost did it." Chris furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. "Not recently... I mean when I first thought you hooked up with her. I called Kole." She pursed her lips and nodded, looking up at him. "I heard his voice... and couldn't do it. So I get why you did it."

"You're not mad...?"

Emily laughed and shook her head, before looking down at the ring that sat on her finger. "No I'm not mad... but I think I need time."

"What does that mean?" Chris felt like he could throw up. Time? How much time?

She closed her eyes and slid the ring off. She stood up and walked over to him, taking his hand and placing it on his palm, before closing his fist. "It means I'm going to go stay with Liam for a while. You can stay here, with Violet and Denny until you go back to Atlanta." She reached up and placed one last kiss on his open lips. "I'll see you in a few weeks, okay? Then we can talk."

"I..." he took a deep breath and nodded "I love you."

"I love you too."

_________________________________________

A/N:

Okay, it's just getting rude at this point. I'm sorry and I promise this is the last time lmao-

Just a quick, serious, side note. Yesterday I got some incredibly shitty news, and I just want you to know, if you're ever feeling suicidal, please know that there are people who can help you. You're not alone, you're loved, you're needed. There are so many people who would miss you if you weren't here anymore.

There are free suicide prevention hotlines that are available to anyone. If you don't feel that you can talk to someone you know, then maybe a stranger would be able to help you.

My messages are always open. I can't stress that enough. If you want to talk to me for any reason, I'm here and I'll be your friend.

I love all of you.