Let Me Be Your Cure (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 12

His effect

SHOCKED of how I reacted, I immediately stormed out of the room. I don't know where my feets are taking me, I just go with the flow.

Are you crazy?! How could you? I thought you hate men? But he could be an exception, right? Oh god! I repeatedly shook my head until I got dizzy from doing it. Bumalik ka! Go back to your senses Praise Ashanti!

Paulit-ulit kong pinangaralan ang sarili sa nangyari. At kanina ko pa rin nararamdaman ang kakaibang sakit sa aking dibdib. I don't know how to explain it. I just know that it's aching. Para bang sumisikip siya na hindi ako makahinga.

I must be experiencing a culture shock. It must be that. Tumango-tango ako, pinapaniwala ang sarili sa sinasabi.

It has been a long time since the last time I saw a man with that kind of beauty. And it has been a long time since I felt astonished this much. But I'm not saying that men here are ugly. Maybe... he's just on a different level. Kakaiba ang kaniyang ganda, mala-mythological god. Pwede ring pang-modelo, attorney or pilot... or a seaman... or... or... kahit ano siguro na propesyo'y nababagay sa kaniya.

Shit! Pinukpok ko ang aking ulo dahil sa lahat ng kagagahang sumasanib sa aking utak. I sighed, feeling defeated by my own self.

I'm crazy. I'm really going crazy.

Namalayan ko na lang ang sarili kong nasa loob ng locker room. Naisipan kong umupo sa isang upuan na naririto. Papakalmahin ko muna ang sarili bago ako bumalik... o pwedeng hindi na lang ako bumalik pa.

Kasalanan niya 'to, e. Why did he have to shock me with his beauty? Why did he have to touch me on my shoulder? Why there of all the things to touch? Oh. He shouldn't have touched me at all. 

It was supposed to be a defense for myself but as time goes by it became a habit. My body reacts to what it thinks is bad for me. Due to what happened to me in the past, I have installed in my mind that there shouldn't be anyone to touch me, especially on my shoulder. Para mo na rin akong ginugulat sa paraan na iyon. And believe me, startling me is the most regretful thing you would do in your life. Hindi naman ako ganito noong kabataan ko pa. Siguro epekto ito ng katandaan?

It's not like I can stop myself from doing that. You know, rewarding anyone who touches me a high kick.

Despite of my looks and my personality, I'm still a scaredy cat, easily scared. People thinks I'm strong but little did they know I'm just one of those people who wears a mask. I must wear a mask kasi karamihan sa mga tao ngayo'y tini-take advantage ang mga mahihina. They're targeting the weaks 'cause they know that weaks can't do anything to defend themselves. They will just cry and that's it. I'm not saying that it is bad to be weak but one should at least have something to defend himself.

People now are becoming so wicked that they often don't show mercy even how much you pleaded them, they won't still show you mercy.

Heaving a large amount of air, remembering how my colleagues reacted earlier. They were screaming because they know what will happen next. Minsan ko na rin kasi silang nabiktima. Hindi lahat pero almost. Maraming nagreklamo tungkol sa issue ko dahil sobrang sakit daw nito. I won't deny that I feel guilty afterwards but what can I do? 

May mga nadala rin sa hospital dahil sa kagagawan ko. Minsa'y nakasuot pa ako ng police boots nang may mabiktima ako kaya iyong mga nakakita hindi na nagtangkang hawakan pa ako sa balikat. Kapag tinatawag nila ako'y sa harap ko na sila pumupunta. Pero hindi pa rin talaga maiiwasan na maulit ito kasi nga sanay na tayong tinatawag ang mga kakilala sa pamamagitan ng pagsundot sa balikat ng taong iyon. Huwag nga lang sa akin.

"HUY Praise, ginagawa mo rito? Nag-e-emo ka ba?" Ang tanong ni Jane sa akin  nang maratnan ako sa loob ng locker room.

Umiling ako. I'm thinking of ways how to say sorry. How to say sorry ba? What will I say to him? What kind of face should I give him? Exaggeratedly, I sighed. Ewan, bahala na nga. Let the air handle it.

I stood up from my seat as I have decided to go back. Whatever happen, happens. Marami pa akong trabahong kailangang tapusin. Bakit ako napunta sa sitwasyong ito?

Nagsimula akong maglakad papalabas habang nasa aking likuran si Jane, sinusundan ako.

"What would you like to eat? Lunch break na... I think hindi ka pa nakakakain."

"Maybe later. I still have something to do," I answered.

"Eh ano ba 'yan? Ayaw mo lang siguro akong kasama, e," nagtatampo ang boses nitong sinabi.

While on my way to my desk, naraanan ko ulit siya. Siya na nakikipagtawanan ulit sa kanila. They must have noticed my presence kaya napatingin sila sa 'kin. Tumungo na lang ako dahil sa kahihiyan. Who wouldn't felt ashamed after welcoming someone with a high kick. What a great way of welcoming someone, Praise, I sarcastically said to myself. 

"Pagpasensiyahan mo na sana siya. Ganyan lang talaga iyan pero mabait naman," dinig kong paumanhin ni Eman sa kaniya.

I don't want to apologize to him, not in their sight. Later na lang.

ARCHING my back, stretching my body after a strenuous work. I sighed, kahit ano talagang sanayan nakapapagod pa rin ang pagtatrabaho. Nilibot ko ang tingin sa paligid at pansin ko ang katahimikan sa kapaligiran. Madilim na kalangitan ang sumalubong sa aking paningin imbes na ang sinag ng araw nang tumingin ako sa labas.

Inayos ko muna ang aking mga gamit bago umuwi.   

I was on my way to my car when I saw that man outside, standing beside a car. Might be his car.

He really looks astounding. Kahit na nakatayo lamang siya d'yan sa gilid ng kotseng iyan, mukhang minomodel niya na ito. Hays tumigil ka na nga Praise! Kanina ka pa sa kakapuri sa kaniya. 'Di ka na nakatutuwa!

I sighed and gathered an amount of energy for I decided to confront him and apologize. My conscience is really killing me right now. It's not like he deserved to be kicked right then. It's all my fault and I should be saying sorry, right?

Lumapit ako sa kaniyang kinatatayuan.

"Hi," I greeted with so much awkwardness in me. He stood up straight and put his hands inside the pocket of his jeans.

"I-I'm sorry about what happened earlier. It was just... nevermind. Uhmm... next time don't come near me or even try to touch me especially my shoulders to avoid that happening again. I hope you understand. D-does it hurt?" 'Di ko na sinabi sa kaniya ang dahilan ko sapagkat ayaw ko pang humaba ang kuwento. And why the hell did I even ask him if it hurts?! This is not so me!

He was just looking at me intently while I was talking. Simula nang lumabas ako'y ganyan ang kaniyang titig sa 'kin. Sobra ko sigurong ginalit.

"It's okay. It ain't hurt. By the way, I'm Earl Chaz Griffith." He then extended his hand asking for a hand shake.

"Praise. Praise Ashanti Chantal," I answered as I took his hand.

"So, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry again. Bye," pagpapaalam ko.

I quickly walked towards my car, leaving him.

But just when I've arrived near my car, doon ko lang napansin ang nanginginig kong mga tuhod. Shit!

What's this man doing to me?