Can We Keep It Together {Haikyuu Fanfic}

Chapter 17 ~ Awakening

I just wanted to quickly say thank you so much for 1000 reads! Omg I love you all so much I honestly thought no one would read this so thank you❤️❤️

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Noya POV

I don't remember what happened. I remember standing up to go jump in the lake. Then feeling dizzy and that's it. The next thing I know I'm waking up lying in my bed with Asahi by my side. Takeda, Daichi, and Suga are also there. Talking but I can't hear them. Everything is blurry and distorted. Unreal.

Asahi's mouth is moving but the words aren't reaching me. It's a weird feeling. I can see him mouth my name. I can basically hear him say it. But in reality, there is no noise.

I close my eyes again in hopes everything makes sense again. Maybe I'm not even awake. I take a deep breath and focus on the echoing voice of Asahi that seems to be miles away. Getting further and further from me. No matter how fast I run he gets further and further away. Before completely disappearing.

My eyes slowly open and adjust to the light. It seems real this time but who knows at this point. Asahi just looks at me worriedly as I slowly sit up. I run my eyes and look around. It's now morning. Asahi looks tired and no one else is in the room.

"A-asahi?" I weakly say feeling the fatigue.

"Noya..." breathes out and squeezes my hand as if to check if I'm real.

"What happened?"

"You passed out." Takeda says as he comes in. I freeze knowing where this is heading. Knowing it's all over. Knowing I messed up. "Checked your blood pressure while you were unconscious." Asahi looks down. He looks upset or scared. Does he already know?

"I don't understand Noya." My heart drops at his tone. It's deep but sad. Or worried. I can't tell the difference.

"Huh?" I ask, feeling confused but fearing the answers.

"Why is your blood pressure so low?" He asks, deeply looking into my eyes. I gulp and look down.

"I-i..."

"I see you eat every meal...so tell me why it's so low." Now his tone seems mad which scares me. I've never seen Asahi mad before. Not like actually mad. I let out a shaky exhale and feel my heart ache and tears form. I didn't want to hurt them. I didn't want them to be sad or worried.

"I...umm..." I take a deep breath and look up at Asahi. He looks blurry due to the tears in my eyes that slowly fall down my cheeks. "I'm sorry..." I whisper and choke out a sob. I close my eyes wishing all the pain away. Instead I'm granted a tight warm hug from Asahi, relaxing my body. I sigh and cry a little more into his broad shoulders.

"Noya I know I'm pushing it but I need you to tell me what you're doing to yourself... please I just want to help." I cry a little harder knowing I'm hurting him.

He pulls away slightly and looks me in the eyes with a pained look. I can't take it so I hang my head in shame looking at the white comforter beneath me. "I... umm..." I bite my lip not wanting to admit it. Just wanting everything to disappear. I don't care that I'm hurting myself I only care that I hurt him. I didn't want that. I don't even know what I wanted from this. "I forced...myself...to...throw it up."

More tears fall from my eyes but no noises come out. Only a silent cry. I'm brought back into Asahi's arms, making me feel safer. Warner. Sadder. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. It's ok."

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I wake up with the sun hitting my face. I guess I feel asleep again. I look next to me to see Asahi on the ground, his head resting on the bed. I sigh and lean back squeezing his hand slightly. I hear the door slowly open as Takeda and Daichi come in holding a few granola bars.

They shut the door and Asahi stirs lightly before slowly sitting up. He rubs his eyes and smiles lightly at me looking very exhausted. He stands up and sits on the bed still holding my hand. Daichi hands him the food. I frown not wanting to eat but knowing I'll have to. Asahi opens it and smiles at me while placing it in my hand. I sigh and slowly begin to eat it.

"Noya? Can I ask you a few questions?" I nod slightly and look down. "Why weren't you keeping your food down?" I take a deep breath and Asahi gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and smiles, letting me know that it's ok.

"I umm I don't know. I guess I just umm didn't feel like I deserved it..." I lead off, letting a single tear stream down my cheek.

"Why?" Asahi asks gently, making me cry a little harder. 

"I don't know I just... feel so weak sometimes I wanted to punish myself for feeling this way and..." I sob quietly and Asahi wraps his arms around me. I relax into the embrace but can't stop the tears. It's so pathetic.

"How long has this been going on?" I pull back and Asahi gently wipes the tear away.

"It's been on and off... the last time I... kept the food down was 3 days ago."

"And before that?"

"Umm I didn't eat anything the day we came up here and first ate after the conditioning. I ate the day after and then stopped for a day and then was eating up until 3 days ago."

"Ok well at least you ate some..." Takeda sighs thinking. I just look down in shame feeling awful for everything I've done to them. I hate myself for hurting them. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost. Helpless. Weak. "If this has only been going on the past week then I don't think you have an eating disorder. Normally we would call your parents but we couldn't get in touch with them. The best thing we can do right now is monitor your blood pressure to make sure you're keeping down your food."

I nod lightly and finish the granola bar. As much as I hate myself for eating, it really felt good to get something into my body. I felt relieved. "We won't tell anyone about this. Currently, the only people who know are us, Suga and Coach Ukai. Well keep it that way if you wish. We'll check your blood pressure everyday to make sure you're eating."

"Ok..." I weakly say keeping my eyes glued to my hand.

"Hey, it's ok Noya. We're here to help you." Asahi smiles at me making me feel a lot safer. I'm glad he cares. I just wish I was good enough for him.

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Ahh sorry, this one is kinda short. I'm having a bit of writer's block so they seem to be a little short. Sorry about that. I keep thinking of ideas for this book but forget them. Now I'm finally writing out a plan. Hope you all are enjoying it.

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