• Read the poem while listening to the song, to get the vibes. •
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movie award
no thoughts, feeling empty. staring at her fingers and they're still dainty. things changes but not their meanings, i still admire your laugh while leaning. lots memories, forgotten details. kept changing and when i tried, i fails. same loved ones but newer adoration, felt loved but still having complications.
i walk the earth yet i don't feel it, i ate the same food and kept craving for it. unrealistically repetitive atmosphere. when everyday, there's new things that appears. felt tired but can't sleep, is asleep later but woke up feeling weird. days and days it passes, still not realizing the grass keep changes.
everything will stopped but it'll stay, with new travellers waiting at bay. will i keep feeling the same way in every of my life? or will i keep continuing even in afterlife. lists of questions for the unknown, how does one know themselves alone? is there always troubles coming in our route? and when it ends, why is there a reboot? simple question, various answers. stuck to me and hard to cure like a cancer. fold up the paper, you'll see the shape. but if i still can't understand, how do i escape?
unreal, unreal, but everything is real. i see everything but there's details that is concealed. how do i know things are this other than that? will curiosity kills beyond the cat? falling into a deep hole, i made myself. my written feelings in a paper is crowding the bookshelf.
what if there's a plot of fantasy in my story? will it make a difference like the main character in their glory. do i need magic spells or saving a damsel in distress? so many possibilities that i couldn't assess.
past, present, and the future. what is the concept behind the structure? sometime i stare the far far away, waiting to see stars in broad daylight. then i regret at the things i've chose, but soon i'll forget and it blows. why is it so complicated? i need a instruction dedicated to it. i can't stand walking aimlessly without a purpose, even if i've found one, it's still anonymous.
snap, action, and camera. played the role, speak the lines, and etcetera. good ending, bad ending, interpret it ending. i don't even know what my highlights is showing? should i just follow the flash of lights? but to see behind the screen is always an invite. questioning questions behind the reasons. never ended just keep coming out with new seasons. unclear plot of the story and unpredictable outro, never even understood the point of the intro.
unreal, unreal, questioning the reality.
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Inspired by my 3.AM thoughts & Billie Eillish - Xanny.
-icy.
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My 3.AM thoughts. Honestly, i'm a bit scared to post this one because i thought the readers won't be able to understand my weird brain, but i post it because this my newest and recent creation.
it's a bit sad to see it only lays on my folder and this is my raw feelings towards life. also i'm a huge nerd for Film - Making stuffs hence the title and some of the words i put inside the poems.
Leave a comment on what you think of this one. hope you like it 🧡🖖
