• Read the poem while listening to the song, to get the vibes. •
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falling into the loop-hole
feeling like i'm rewinding the times, with the same silver bell and the ringing chimes. i wonder when it will sing a different tune, or will it be the same story line like every episodes of cartoon? do you understand how i'm feeling right now? or you chose to ignore and blocking out every points except your views? yeah, i want to have my own riches, so i won't fall into the failure ditches.
but i'm tired of everything and scared of changes because of my internalized fear for the outside of the box.
i'm tired of seeing the same caged up feelings, with the same floor and you need to reach the same ceilings. when there's the window, the door, and maybe we could make a hole through the wall. scared of my identity and it's turning very small. i want a new way, instead of the same routinity to the security. giving boring and old fashioned concept to the awaited maturity. world is harsh, but the same beings i share oxygen with is even harsher. mirror changes position, quickly you jumped into conclusions of another angular.
nothing feels right, not even myself or even yourself.
i want to go outside of the box without any not asked opinions masking hatred, wanting to adopt every of new feelings and finally the the true sense of wanted. i became a zombie, without a heart, without a brain, but i kept walking. and the humans brought out guns and their "curses" kept talking. telling me because i'm not like them, i deserve to die. without asking any reasons instead they said unspoken goodbyes.
meaningless words without any assurances, or even A, B, C, D, E, F, or even Efforts for trying.
who can fill this hollow inside my deepest sunken heart? who is able to see me in different style of arts? admired my aesthetic sculpted features without any judgement. jumping through the windows with me or even opening another way. instead i'm blasted out thinking that i'm nothing but a failure.
i'm the same, nothing changes, except i'm getting bluer and bluer until it's black.
is this my life, always dreaming the impossible to be possible? oh, i'm sorry, i'm an adult now and i should make it able. but how, when i learned that my engraved epitaph never mattered to the wiser ones, i was still a child and the year kept passing, they still see me as year one. loop - hole, i was told they were the great escape, cheat codes to fun things. but why does it feel like, in the same rocking chair that keep swings. i never move, never talk, never listen, and now, i'm old.
catastrophe that is being passed down like a biography, not with this thing in my chest but they told me to use this thing in my head, now you wonder, why did i rebelled?
i'm a child, tired of everything and never once, i got prestige just for being who i am. validation is never an option, huh? instead it's a sense of encouragement without appreciating my efforts.
.good riddance.
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inspired by Zombie (English Ver.) - DAY6.
-icy.
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"Most Villains are good people who have been hurt."
"One mistake changes every Millions Good Deeds."
this phrases hit me hard today, what i'm trying to interpret here, people who feels they don't belong anywhere, people who has been told they're failure, people who is used as a scapegoat, people who is called a villain yet we don't know the full story.
i want you to learn people through your own eyes, when people gives opinions about certain someone, keep it but prove it and learn it better through yourself to this certain someone.
because sometime, everything is not always like what it seems.
hope you love the poems, have a happy reading beautiful people 💜
