Living For Tomorrow

CHAPTER 7

GRACE

He didn't come to visit me yesterday, nor the day before that and it's really starting to make me believe the notion that he's nonexistent.

I mean the guy went from reading me poems and leaving the tingling sensation of vibrations on my forehead and my hands to literally ghosting me.

And yes I'm 100% being a bitch about it because he was the only thing keeping me sane and now he's driving me insane.

I feel like if I sent him a oscar worthy paragraph as to how much I appreciated him he'd just replied with "Ok".

For all I know he's probably getting his dick wet by some blond bimbo that eats male attention for lunch.

I mean what does it take the guy to be a little bit more consistent, and don't even get me started on the fact that he ditched me.

I mean yes, I'm probably pale as hell right now and my lips are probably in dying need of some carmex but that still doesn't give him a reason not to show up to our date, not like my life depended on it or anything.

It's not like I might never be able to experience that again.

It's not like I've been trapped and completely hopeless for God know's how long.

It's not like the more time passes the more I feel like if I'm slipping away into an endless void.

It's not like that AT ALL

It's not like he made a difference you know

It's not like if he made me feel like I
mattered.

It's not like I've been counting down the seconds since I've last felt him.

It's not like I'm slowly starting to forget the colour of his eyes and why they mean so much to me.

It's not like he made me feel like there's actually someone out there that cares about whether or not I wake up.

It's definitely not like he has completely made me feel more dead inside than I already am just because he didn't have the balls to reject me in person.

And by in person I mean the 10 seconds of fame I had that I spent screaming like a crazy person, I probably should be happy that his first impression of me wasn't that I remind him of lydia from teenwolf.

I sound crazy I know, but it goes to show that even in a coma boys will always be a pain in the ass.

~~

I've calmed down...I think...Maybe?

I just miss him , I miss him a lot.

I miss the feeling of him to be more specific.

As much as it kills me to admit it but I need him, everyone needs someone.

Everyone needs someone especially when things gets hard.

We need someone to tell us all the right things.

Someone that doesn't even bother asking you what's wrong but instead they just hold you until the pain stops.

We need someone to tell us all the wrong things.

Someone that understands that in certain situations their job is to give you the advice that you need and not the advice that you want.

And when we don't have that someone, that one special person, everything slows down.

It might only seem like 2 days to him but a day here feels like a week.

A week that's filled with Monday's, and nobody likes Mondays.