I'm all alone in this world

Falling tears

I woke up to my alarm clock at 6:00am. I sighed I didn't want to go to school today but I managed to get up out of bed despite my wishes. I got up and headed for the bathroom, when I got there I brushed my teeth trying to avoid the mirror. I hated how I looked and my self conscious knew that so once I was done brushing my teeth it forced me to look into the mirror. I looked and hated what I saw my bland straight hair, pale face, pointy chin, my mouth formed an awkward line over my teeth when I forced a smile or smile for real, which I hadn't done for a few years now, my fat thighs smushed up against each other, my pudgy stomach, and my basic brown eyes. I hated how my body was I could feel my ribs and hip bone but you couldn't see them at all and my thighs were two watermelons covered in flesh. It was disgusting, no I was disgusting. I frowned as I looked at myself. After about 5 minutes of this pain, I decided to get in the shower. I started to run the water before slipping off my clothes. I stuck my hand in to see if it was warm yet and it was. I got in and winced at the pain shooting all over my body. I eventually got used to the burning water pounding onto my fresh cuts and burns from last night. Then, I did what I did every time I got in the shower and started to ball my eyes out. Nobody loved me, yea I had a mom and a boyfriend and all but, my mom was always too stuck to be there for me in my time of pain and my boyfriend could care less if I was dead at this point in our relationship. Once I got out of the shower I grabbed a towel and got dressed. I put on a pair of black combat boots with silver studs lining the front, a pair of black ripped jeans, a long sleeved falling in reverse teeshirt, and my signature black hoodie, my hoodie had a simple design of a black rose going up the right sleeve and a red dragon on the front of the jacket. I checked my phone it was only 6:37. I never ate breakfast and left the house at 7:10 to walk to school. I walked to school with my only true friend Wren. Wren was my neighbor and we'd grown up together, he was the only person to comfort me when we had moved here. We moved right after the divorce to this hell hole. I hated it here we lived in Annapolis, Maryland when before we lived in Greenbelt, Maryland. I missed Greenbelt so much even though it had been 6 years. I missed the way things had been before my mum started to drink. I missed my dad too, but there was nothing I could do about any of this. I sighed and checked my phone again, it was 6:43 now. I decided to kill time by listening to falling in reverse and sleeping with sirens. When kick me came on I couldn't help but sing along
🎶let's hang the jury, you sick judgmental fools, bury you sick feet deep because I'm so sick and tired of your rules. Fuck you and your opinion. How could you be so blind. What goes around comes back around in-🎶 "What" I frowned. "Keep it down you idiot" my mom said giving me a blow to a stomach. "Yes mother" I said clutching my stomach. My mom hadn't physically hurt me for at least a week and I thought she was done for good I guess I was wrong. I sighed and checked the time again,it was 7:06 and I didn't know which I hated more school or home at this point. I grabbed my leather backpack crammed with papers and books. I also had gum stashed somewhere in the mess. I loved my backpack and the small Peter Pan voodo doll Wren had gotten for me years ago. He had gotten one too only he got Alice from Alice in wonderland. It was a small statement of ours proving that fiction was better than reality and that growing up causes pain. I went to run out the door and ended up winding on top of Wren. "Oh my god I'm so sorry that was my fault ack sorry I didn't mean to, that's all on me, I screwed up, sorry" I rambled on. "Mel stop it, it wasn't your fault you did nothing wrong, take deep breaths" Wren said assertively. I took five deep breaths before I managed to calm down. Wren stood up then offered his hand out to me. I took it and he helped me off the ground. I loved Wren not as a boyfriend but as a brother almost. He was always there for me when I needed him, not at home of course, but when I was emotionally breaking down I could call him and he'd help and say all the right things before I turned to my blade about an hour later. Wren must have know I was overthinking again because he pulled me into tight hug and told me everything is going to be okay. I knew it wasn't though but I just nodded my head and cried into his shoulder for a while before we headed off to school. He held my hand the whole way and gave it a slight squeeze to assure I was okay every time he saw my eyes start to glaze over and it always worked as I squeezed back pretending I was okay. Eventually we arrived to school and it was time to fake a smile Wren and I dropped hands but continued to walk together once we got near other students. It made everything worse when we did. We walked to our usual spot when waiting to enter the building. It was in a corner close to the entrance. The corner had a rose bush growing nearby and a small wooden bench. It was very small and not many people usually crowded around it. I liked it a lot, nobody bothered me there, usually. " Mel it's not going to be that bad today" Wren tried to tell me. I didn't want to hear it though. He knew it wasn't going to be, it never was. The school bell rang and everyone started to pile up near the door. The doors finally opened after about 5 minutes letting everyone in. I waited for almost everyone to go in before entering. I watched as everyone talked to their posy of friends for a while before going to my locker, I needed to get my journal, it had all of my darkest thoughts written in it. I walked to homeroom and sat down in my seat. As the bell rang the only thing that came to my head was Hell was about to begin for me.
/////////////////////////////////////hey guys this is a new story but I'm still going to keep working on my other one the sound of the moon. I'm actually working on chapter 4 for that one now so don't worry. Also sorry I know I've been really narrative lately but it'll get better I promise. The first few chapters are going to go slow but stay they'll get faster eventually. But I'd love to hear what you guys think about it so far leave a comment guys. Also vote for me if you like my stories. I love you guys and if you're going threw anything just talk to me okay I'm available almost anytime of the day and I'm here for you. Okay go read the next chapter. It'll be up soon.