I'm all alone in this world

I'll wait

When we arrived at school Wren walked towards the popular people leaving me alone. That explained the party and him acting out along with the booze. There was way more kids here then usual. I sighed and made my way to the corner and pulled out my journal. I looked at the front page, it had all of my old suicide dates on them, all crossed out. I wrote down a new date for March, 23rd, 2015. I had 4 other failed attempts. The date was a month away but I needed time to get the right supplies. I looked back over at Wren to see some girl play with his dirty blonde hair. I had to admit he looked like a jock. He was average height, green eyes, muscular, and had a smile anyone would die for, but I didn't like him, honestly right now I was afraid and hurt by him. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I tensed up. "Hey, can you tell me where Mrs.Olenes room is, I'm new here and I have her first period" a voice said. I turned around and observed this person, it was a male, he was tall, his hair was dark brown, he was very lean too, his eyes were a beautiful dark brown shade, I think he was albino, and he had a crooked smile, but it was attractive. "Sure I'll walk you, mystery man" I grinned half heartedly. I couldn't like him, I had just met him besides I wasn't going to be around long enough for him to date me if he liked me back even if I did. "Oh right, I'm Sean" he said running his hand through his hair. I looked down at his wrists, he was wearing rubber bracelets like my own. "Oh, I'm Melina but most people call me Mel" I said. "You like them huh" he grinned noticing me looking at his wrists. "Yea, I don't know many other people who like Falling in Reverse" I said pointing at his bracelet. "I love them" he replied. "Microwave babies" I questioned. "Oh my old friend got me that" he laughed. The bracelet had a bright red font and a pinkish background. "Can I try one on" I asked. "Sure" he grinned. He brought up his wrist and I looked closer to make sure he didn't have any cuts or scars in secret. There were a few scars but that was all. He liked half of the bands I did only I looked at one of them confused. "Who are they" I asked pointing to a black and white bracelet with a band named Linkin park on it. "There a punk rock band, they sing the song Numb" he replied. "Oh I love that song" I grinned. I pulled off his British flag bracelet and slipped it onto my small wrist that I thought was huge. "Haha it looks good on you, you should keep it" he laughed. "Seriously" I laughed slightly. "Yea, why not" he shrugged. "Oh I could never" I said shaking my head starting to slip it off my wrist. "No way now you have to keep it, think of it as a gift" he grinned, he tilted his head observing me slightly. I started to panic, I didn't want him to look at my thighs or face, I looked away. "Hey what's wrong" he said tilting his head more. "Why'd you decide to talk to me of all people?" I suddenly asked. "You seemed like you were a smart person, plus you looked like you were getting ready for math" he smiled sincerely. "Yea, wait what" I was confused. "Well you were scribbling down numbers" he said pointing at my journal. "Oh I didn't think anyone noticed that" I mumbled, "so where'd you move". "I live on Maple drive now, we moved from PG county" he sighed. I saw him go deep into though but he was trying to hide it. "So did I, forever ago, what part" I asked. "College Park" he grinned. "Oh my god, I came from Greenbelt" I said. "Cool". The bell rang signaling us to go inside. "I have to stop by my locker first if you don't mind." I said. He didn't reply so I was taking that as a yes. We walked in earlier than I usually did and walked to my locker. "Crap I have to go to homeroom" he panicked. "Calm down, who do you have" I asked entering my combination. "Mr.Kohlmer" he said. I opened my locker and pulled out my good wraps, I hesitated, I didn't want him to see my arms like Wren had. I shoved them into my pockets before turning to him. "I'll walk you to his room" I shrugged. "You have him too" he asked. "No but my teacher won't notice if I'm not there" I said bored. "Oh" was all he said. We walked up the hall and I started to walk into the do not enter area. He grabbed my arm and I winced. "It says don't enter" he whispered dropping his arm. "Yea so and why are you wispering" I asked continuing to walk. He followed not knowing what else to do. We got to his classroom within seconds without anyone noticing us. "Here you go" I said. "Thanks Melina" he smiled. "You can call me Mel" I tried smiling back. "Okay" he grinned before entering homeroom. I walked to homeroom but stopped by the bathroom to wrap my arms before I entered. The bell rang as I sat down. I pulled out my journal and continued to draw myself being hung. I got half of the frame of the body finished before I looked at the clock I had 4 minutes before I could find Sean. I got out off my seat and walked out of class, nobody noticed. I rushed to Mr.Kolmers and slipped into his classroom. I looked around until I found Sean. I walked over and sat down next to him. He looked at me confused. "I left homeroom" I shrugged. "Nobody noticed you were gone" he whispered. "In case you haven't noticed I'm not miss popular" I whispered back. "Oh okay, hey why'd you wrap your wrists" he asked motioning to my bandages. "I have weak wrists" I lied. It didn't matter I continued to tell myself, I won't be around long enough for him to find out. "That sucks" he frowned. "Yea" I sighed. The bell rang and I walked him to class. He sat down next to me and I heard people starting to whisper, I figured it was about me or Sean, most likely me. "I see we have a new student" mrs.Olene said pointing to Sean, "what's your name". "My name is Sean" he said awkwardly. "I see you've met Melina" she said making a face as she said my name. Even the teachers hated me. "Okay time to begin today's lesson...blea blea blea" I drowned the teacher out and continued on my drawing turning it far enough that Sean couldn't see it but not enough that it seemed suspicious. I stopped drawing every now and then to write down what I needed to know to pass the class but otherwise kept on drawing. I had finished the frame of the lower body but needed to continue drawing the remainder of the jacket. I worked on the depth perception of the jacket and some on the face in areas I didn't cover already. It was a three diminutional picture with realistic features to the last detail. I ended up finishing the jacket and half of the pants once the class was starting to pack up. I closed my journal and packed with them. "What were you drawing all class" Sean asked zipping up his binder. "Oh uhm a uh person" I said searching for the right words. "Can I see one day" he yawned, his shirt lifted up enough you could see his stomach for a few seconds and I couldn't help but look. "Maybe" I shrugged knowing he never would. All of a sudden I thought about my mother and how she was in the hospital. We didn't have a car at home, so I couldn't drive to the hospital and we had a bike but I didn't really want to ride 12 miles on bike to a hospital. I sighed loudly by accident and my hand shot up to my mouth and then I remembered nobody cared, I found myself doing that often. "Attention seeker much" one girl said to me. "Hey what's wrong" Sean asked worried. "Nothing" I mumbled. "No it's not and you're going to tell me" he said sternly. "My mom's in the hospital and I wanted to visit her today but I can't" I replied truthfully. "Why not" he asked. "Look I told you what you wanted to know" I sighed. "No you only told me half" he pointed out. "Fine I can't because we don't have enough money for a car and I don't have a drivers license" I said, "what class do you have next, I'll tell you who can walk you if you ask or give you directions at least". "Chorus" he said running his hands though his hair embarrassed. "Okay, you can ask Ashely to walk you, she's not a total asshole" I said nudging my head slightly towards her. "Okay..." He sighed sadly. I could tell he wanted to say more but he was holding back. He walked over towards Ashely and they started to talk. The bell rang and they left. I was the last to leave and made my way to art. We worked on the wheel (device used for spinning clay into things like cups and bowls) today and we were quiet. I enjoyed the quiet. We had a choice to make a vase, a bowl, or a plate. I was making a plate, everything was equal in size, very small. When the plate was done, I was going to paint a small rose. I smiled as I finished trimming the clay and used our wire tool to pull the piece off of the wheel. I pulled it off and made an infinity sign in the bottom of the wet clay so we knew it was my piece. I placed it on the shelf and class was over. I washed my hands and left the classroom with the other students. It was time for science. I groaned.