I'm all alone in this world

School and Blood

(The pictures a general idea of what Melina looks like) I sat in the far corner of the room, staying as far away from everyone as possible. I wanted to be left alone, I didn't need to be bullied right now. I sighed and pulled out my headphones. My headphones were all tangled so I untangled and then retangled them over and over again until homeroom ended. As I was walking to first period, some jocks knocked my binder out of my hands. I scrambled to the ground trying to pick them up and a few people stepped on my binder and my hand while I was desperately trying to pick up my stuff. Nobody helped me like they do in movies. I eventually picked up all of my stuff and looked up, the jocks had run off. My hand was starting to turn red and I had a bruise already starting to form. I rushed to 1st period and I got there right before the bell rang. Somebody started laughing at me for being late and shouted Mel's late, the emo's late, she should be punished. "Melina sit down, class has begun" our teacher Ms.Olene said in her thick Russian accent. "Yes M'am" I replied. I made my way to the back of the class, only to have Cindy trip me. I fell to the ground but this time didn't drop my stuff. I got up quickly and ignored all of the laughing. Cindy was a pretty popular girl at our school, but only because her daddy got her modeling shoots. She was spoiled and everyone adored her. "Sorry" she said making a fake pouty face. I just stared in disgust for a few seconds before sitting down in the back of the room with a few other emos and nerds. I took my journal out and started to write in it. "I managed to fuck everything up once again today and it's only first period, i pissed my mother off causing her to punch me and I deserved it, I ran into Wren today, managed to get even the jocks to hate me, and Cindy is probably going to chase me home again today" I wrote down what had happened today, then started to write about feelings in a quote. "1 cut 2 cut 3 cut 4. It doesn't even matter anymore. 5 cut 6 cut 7 cut 8. You'll only notice once it's too late. 9 cut 10 cut 11 cut 12. There's too many angry yells. 70 cut 80 cut 90 cut dead. Now all I am is spilling red." It was easy to come up with these on the daily because nobody cared. I had failed at committing suicide before, I tried to overdose on sleeping pills, I was only 12 the first time. Instead I ended up being hospitalized and had to go to rehab. I couldn't contact Wren for 3 weeks before they let me out. I couldn't contact my boyfriend Justin either, but he wouldn't have noticed anyway. I remember Wren was overjoyed and pulled me into a tight hug when that first happened and he kept a close eye on me. He still keeps a close eye on me but not as much. I decided to work on my old drawing that I had already started in my journal. It was a picture of a girl crying as she was standing on a chair starting to tie a rope around her neck. I already had the face done and the rope and hands but I still needed to draw the body and hair. The girl was suppose to look like me. I worked on the drawing till the end of class. The bell rang and it was time for 2nd period. I made my way to guitar with only a few people insulting me saying things like "why don't you kill yourself" or "going to go home and slit your wrists". I closed my eyes and pushed open the door to guitar. Most of the class was filled with other emos or a few annoying popular guys trying to become a ladies man or whatever. "Okay class today we will continue what we did last class and work on the songs we picked to play, you may sing along if it helps, 15 minutes to practice before we start to preform for the class." the teacher beamed. We all grabbed our guitars and started practicing. I had chosen the song Iris by the goo goo dolls. I sang along as I practiced and played perfectly. I got caught up with playing as my voice and strums harmonized with each other. After playing the song twice I stopped and waited to preform. I still had 5 minutes left so I also listened to others play. Most of them were off key and played the wrong notes or had to restart but a few people played pretty well. "Okay class times up, do we have any volunteers to go first" the teacher asked "No, well looks like we'll have to go in a random order then, let's see Melina Mackeoly ." I cringed slightly. I grabbed my guitar and made my way to the front of the room. I sat down and waited in rest position while the teacher got out the grading rubric. "Okay you may begin" she called. I started to play and I poured my heart out. I sang all of the words and I strummed and plucked at the guitar harmonizing the notes. I got so lost in the moment I didn't realize that I was already done the song. The teacher stood up and started to clap excitedly while I was onstage just kind of sitting awkwardly now. When the teacher sat back down I went to the back of the room and put my guitar away, then I went back to my seat and packed up my things. One of the jocks preformed next and he was actually pretty good, he preformed the song hey there Delilah. Once he was done he did the same as me only he sat next to me afterwards. I was shocked, I didn't want to be mocked so I put my hand up to my face trying to avoid eye contact. "Hey Mel, not too bad for an emo up there, you did good." Jack (the jock) whispered to me. I looked around the room. "Me Mel" I replied baffled. "Yea you, learn to take a compliment I know I'm not the nicest but I thought it should be said" he smiled. "Wow thanks" I said.
Maybe today wasn't so bad after all. School breezed by today and it wasn't entirely hell I only got punched once and got verbally abused a bit, but not too horrible. I was having a better day, for now at least.