oneshots • sidemen

|| 07 || wroetozerk • care

|| ship; wroetozerk

|| warnings; trans!harry

|| words; 1k

- {} -

Hazza: Josh, are you on your way
home? x

Josh: Yeah, I'm in the car now.
See you in ten. Xx

Hazza: Could you stop at the
shop to get some things for me
please?

Josh: Sure, what do you need?

Hazza: Umm...
My period blocking pills haven't
worked again
Could you pick up some tampons,
please?

Josh: Oh baby, I'm sorry
I'll grab you some chocolate and
sweet stuff too, don't worry x
And we can call the doctor about
it over the weekend

Hazza: Thank you so much Josh
What did I do to deserve you?

Josh: Just being here is enough
I'll be back in fifteen, hang tight xx

-

Harry lets out a relieved breath, and cuddles further into bed. He's on the side Josh usually sleeps on, because he can smell him on the sheets. It makes him feel a little more at ease, surrounded by his boyfriends scent. He still feels the dull ache low in his stomach though, no matter how tightly to him he clutches the hot water bottle to his body.

He knows it shouldn't be there. And that's what tears him up the most. Paired up with the surprise and disappointment when his pill hadn't worked as it should. Again. The cold dread he felt when he started having cramps, compared to nothing else. And then the raw outrage. That this shouldn't happen to him. He's a man for fucks sake. Trapped in this shitty body, that doesn't work as it should.

He hates that he wants to cry. His emotions feel out of control, waves crashing over his brain, and drowning out reason. He feels hormonal. It's feminine and he hates it. He winds his fingers into his hair, and tugs it frustratedly. Almost drowns our the pain from his cramps. Almost.

And then slowly, feels his body wanting to relax. Tired. Weighed down. He's sure Josh will wake him when he gets home, so allows himself to drift into a light sleep.

- {} -

Josh gets home, and finds Harry asleep on the bed. Tries to let him sleep, but as soon as he enters the room, Harry stirs.

"Josh?" He says blearily, looking up.

"Hey baby," Josh says, coming to sit on the edge of the bed beside Harry. "How're you feeling?"

Harry chuckles drily. "Shitty."

"Aw, Haz," Josh responds, scooping the smaller boy into his arms, and holding him close. Harry cuddles himself into Josh, pressing his face into his shoulder, and wrapping his arms around his neck. Shifting a little to get more comfortable. Josh carefully lifts the small bag of shopping onto the bed, and shifts so that he's sat against the headboard, Harry still sideways in his lap.

He hates seeing the usually happy, and excitable boy so withdrawn and upset. It breaks his heart. He's got no life left in him, kicked down by the fact that those damn pills haven't worked after the fourth time of trying them. And that the doctor can't seem to find something better to prescribe. Something that might actually work. Even more pissed, that after two years, he's still not been able to get testosterone. Which would clear up this problem entirety.

Josh just holds him close, pressing kisses to his soft, golden hair. Knows that's what he needs right now. Reassurance. Physical closeness.

"I've got some stuff for you," Josh says softly after a while, and Harry pulls back a little to look at him. "That really expensive brand of chocolate you like, Pringles, Skittles, Malteasers - well, pretty much the whole isle of sweets if I'm honest."

"Thank you," Harry mumbles, looking up at Josh with tired blue eyes.

"You're welcome. Anything to make you feel better. Now, what do you say, we just stay in bed this evening, and watch shit telly, and then sleep. We can call the doctor tomorrow morning, if you like," Josh suggests, and Harry sighs.

"I don't want to talk to that idiot until he can give me a solution that will actually work," Harry says. "I'm sick of being reminded by my body every fucking month that it's not as it should be."

"I know baby, I know," soothes Josh, stoking the younger boy's hair gently. "It's hard at the moment. But we're so close to getting you the hormones you need-" Harry scoffs at this, "No, really, we are. And then, we won't have to worry about this any more. But until that happens, I'll just be here to look after you once a month."

"I love you Josh," Harry mumbles into Josh's neck, pressing soft kisses there.

"Love you too Harry," Josh tells him. "Now, lets get you warm, and comfortable, and then we can pick something to watch, alright?"

"Alright."

- {} -

About half an hour later, they're settled, cuddled up in bed together, with Harry almost glued to Josh's side, nibbling a piece of chocolate and watching Friday Night Dinner on the smallish flatscreen TV in their room. It's something they've both watched before, so takes little effort really to understand what's going on. Which is perfect for them really.

"Josh," Harry whimpers suddenly, disrupting the peace.

"What's up?"

"My stomach really hurts," he complains, closing his eyes, and dropping his head down onto Josh's chest.

"Cramps?" Josh asks, only receiving a hum in response. He sighs softly, and reaches out a large hand, to rest it gently on Harry's stomach. Low down, where he knows his boyfriend must be aching. And rubbing over the spot firmly with his fingers. Almost a massage.

"Oh, that's nice Josh," Harry says contentedly, shifting a little closer to the contact. His fingers clutch at Josh's shirt, like a cat kneading it's owner. Josh keeps up the motion, making sure it stays firm, releasing tension from the aching muscles.

"Why does this time of the month always make me really fucking horny?" Harry asks sleepily, almost as if he didn't realise what he was saying, and Josh laughs at him.

"I don't know babe," he says, watching Harry grin weakly. Watching his face relax, and feeling his body do the same. He's falling asleep again.

"Goodnight Josh," Harry mumbles, letting out a yawn.

"G'night Harry."

- {} -

a.n: shoot me, i know this is shit, and i said i wouldn't update for a while, but idc. i wanted some fluff, and my trans friend asked me to write this.

i'm sorry if i got anything wrong in the descriptions of how a period is or whatever - ya boi has never had one, he don't know what it's like lmao

as the great jj olatunji would say;

allow it, guys

~ Oscar