I finally dragged myself out of the dark.
My clothes are ripped. My hair is a mess. My makeup is smudged. My cheeks are tear stained. My body is bruised and beaten.
I ache all over and can barely walk. I can't believe I let that happen. It's all my fault. Gerard will hate me. My mom will call me a slut. It's the second time this has happened. It must be my fault. I hate myself for letting this happen again. I'm stupid and worthless. I'll never succeed in life.
I can't tell anyone. If I tell, there will be problems. This is something I have to keep bottled inside me with everything else.
It will be a secret. I'm good at keeping secrets.
I start the long and painful walk home and bury myself in my thoughts and feelings.
When I walk into my door, mom just looks at me.
"I asked you to get home four hours ago."
She's clearly angry and drunk
"I-I I'm sorry. I-"
"What happened to your eye? Did you get yourself into an abusive relationship? You'd better watch it, or you'll end up with a daughter you never wanted like me."
That hurt. I could feel the tears building up, but refused to cry. I ran downstairs and into my room. I slammed my door shut and buried myself under the blankets of my bed. I just wanted to melt away into the bed and never wake up. I wanted to disappear from the world around me. I just wanted to die.
I hate life.
But doesn't everyone at some point?
I decided some music might make me feel a bit better, but I only wanted one song.
The Cold Part by Modest Mouse. It was sad. It was depressing. But the confusing lyrics meant one thing for me. Get over depression and leave it.
I put on the song and sang along to the lyrics with my voice breaking on every word.
So long to this cold, cold part of the world
So long to this cold, cold part of the world
So long to this bone bleached part of the world
So long to this cold, cold part of the world
So long to this salt soaked part of the world
I stepped down as president of Antarctica
Can't blame me, don't blame me, don't
So long to this sad, sad part of the world
So long, So long
It could also be about suicide and finding that as the only way out of depression.
Not a lot of lyrics for such a long song, but the song is unmistakably beautiful.
The song repeats over a over and I find it pulling me into a deep sleep.
YOU ARE READING
Saved by the Way (SLOW REVISIONS)
FanfictionScarlett is a new student at Belleville High in New Jersey. She surprisingly actually makes a friend at her new school. This friend is none other than Gerard Way. The story will be written in the view of Scarlett. If the story gets enough views, may...
