LONDON BOY

23. Stay

Listen to this song on repeat to get in this chapter's mood:
CH 23: Afterglow - Taylor Swift

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You're waiting on Kayla for your lunch date, as you get a notification on your phone. It was a reminder that you were supposed to go with Tom to Seth Meyer's Late Night show that afternoon. They were doing a special live episode that day, and you and Tom would be among the guests. It had kind of made you sad that you couldn't go anymore. I mean, I could, but it would be pretty weird to be there with Tom now that we are on the outs...

So, you were glad that Kayla suggested having lunch instead. You didn't want to impose, figuring she's be at the taping as well, but she convinced you that her clients – avoiding saying his name – could take care of themselves for once. "Babe, you need to come out of that apartment of yours at some point, and since your girls are back home again, I'm taking you out for lunch!" she had said.

You were dragging the notion of having to actually put on regular clothes again – having lived like a homeless person; wearing the same yoga pants and Tom's t-shirts for days on end. But there you were; sitting in Sarabeth's, wearing dark jeans, paired with a light blue backless top, and your lips a shade of red. You were punctual as ever, whereas Kayla came rushing in twenty minutes late, still busy with her phone call.

She puts her phone away in her purse, making her way over to you. She pulls you close for a tight hug. You didn't really expect it from her; she wasn't one for much public affection. But you gladly took it, as it had been the first form of human contact you'd had ever since Haz' hug at the airport last week.

"Honey! How are you doing? I am so glad you finally got out of the house! And look at you; you look amazing! Really trying to stick it to him huh?" She says, leaving you a bit embarrassed. She was right; it was your first public appearance – aside from some coffee and grocery runs – in a week, and you didn't want to get caught by paparazzi looking like shit, just in case Tom would see the pictures. Still, now that Kayla said it out loud, you felt a bit pathetic for doing it.

"Yea... I figured I'd show him what he missed." You say, replacing your embarrassment with a cheeky smile. Kayla chuckles, "Damn right." She then continues in a more serious tone, "But you know he does miss you, right hon? He's been pining over you every day since last weekend. He hasn't been focussed at all at work; he's messed up more lines in the past week than I've ever seen him do in the four years he's been my client."

Hearing her speak those words, ignites a little flutter of hope in your chest. Maybe this love is worth the fight after all?

"Yea, he actually called me last night to tell me." You say casually, as your eyes read the menu for the millionth time. You had decided on your dish long ago, but you didn't want to sound too emotional, telling Kayla that you had spoken to Tom.

"He did!? Wow, how was that? Are you okay? Tell me everything." Her face expresses a mixture of concern and hopefulness. "He texted me in the middle of the night, telling me he wanted to talk. So, I figured I'd just rip off the band aid quickly and call him in that instant. So, I did... And we talked. Well, he talked mostly – I couldn't really make up my mind on what to say."

"What did he say?" you now have Kayla's full attention, so you continue, "He- uh- he basically said over and over again how sorry he was, and that nothing happened with Emma – which I'm by the way not completely sure yet I believe." You pause, "And that he misses me and loves me. I think he wants to try again."

You look into Kayla's eyes, hoping they could tell you what to do. You had laid awake the rest of the night after the call. You had gone over all the words Tom had spoken over and over again. Part of you wanted to tell him that everything is okay and to crash into his trusted embrace again. But the other part of you was screaming not to trust him after the way he'd left you hurting.