No one ever said that it would be this hard

Chapter 39

♾ Jughead ♾

*May*

It's been a few weeks. I successfully avoided going to the therapist again.

Veronica, Archie and us didn't really meet up that much. Betty and I had our problems and they were busy with graduating. So we decided to meet up again.

I woke up from yet another nightmare at around 2, which meant barely 3 hours of sleep that I got at all. It was better ever since Betty and I slept in one bed again but sometimes they still haunted me. Still having problems to breathe, I slowly got out of bed, trying to not wake up Betty. She was pregnant and needed sleep. I wanted to give her all that she needed, which meant as much sleep as she could get. I kissed her on the forehead and then headed downstairs.

Once my shaking hands had stopped, I warmed up a cup of milk in the microwave before drinking it, to try and calm down. The next few hours, I spend in silence, looking out of the window to watch the sun slowly rise. I was so zoned out that I didn't even notice Betty waking up. I only found out when she suddenly wrapped her arms around me from behind, kissing my cheek. I jumped, turning around to face her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" she whispered and I just shook my head, turning around completely to face her.

"No, just startled" she nodded.

"What do you want for breakfast?" She asked and I shrugged. I couldn't care less, to be honest. It's not like I would eat anything from it anyways. She sighed, walking closer "if I make some pancakes with blueberries, will you at least eat something from that?" She asked and I just nodded.

"Thank you" she whispered, smiling softly before she let go of me in order to start mixing the pancakes. I just watched her. When she was done, she got two plates and cutlery.

"Don't- put too much on my plate, please"

"Is that okay?" She asked, showing me a plate, where she put two pancakes on. I nodded, so she put that plate on the table in front of me. After that, she made a plate for her own before walking over to sit down at the table next to me. I just stared at it while Betty already started eating.

"Jug..." Betty said, putting her fork down "you said that you would try..." In order to not make her worry, I ate a bit. Though I barely managed to get the first one down.

"Do you want to have my second one?" I asked and she nodded, staying quiet. I reached her my plate before continuing to watch her eat.

"We have to clean the house before we go meet up with V and Archie" Betty said and I nodded. Betty then started with the two bathrooms while I took care of the rest. I didn't want her to overwork, especially with her being eight months pregnant already. I think that I blacked out at least twice while cleaning but it was upstairs when Betty couldn't see me.

Shortly before six, Betty and I walked over to Pops. Archie and Veronica were already there, sitting at our booth and drinking a milkshake. Betty and I sat down on the other side, her taking the aisle seat. Betty ordered some food for dinner and a strawberry milkshake for her before she asked what I wanted, where I just said that I would take a coffee.

"Everything okay?" Archie asked, looking at me and I had to register what he had said before nodding.

"Yeah, course" he hesitated, though then nodded. While the conversation started again, I just leaned back and didn't really listen in on it anymore. At first I didn't have anything to add and then just lost track of what they were talking about.Though Betty grabbed my hand at some point and I intertwined our fingers as I rested my hand on my thigh.