Take Me Back To Paddington (SERIES)

Chapter 28 - The Friends II

The chattering was clear for my ears, listening to random topics and jokes that called for laughter in between. I smiled once in a while if I really focused on their voices, especially Lisa's, but since my hands were busy doing the dishes, I found myself slightly distracted and lost in my own thoughts.

This was everything that I had always wanted. I got Lisa, a loving and dedicated lover who had spent more than a year in liking me with unchanged feelings. How could you like someone in secret that long? I didn't know about other people, but I knew that I couldn't. I had feelings for my girlfriend back then, and I couldn't help to tell her about it. I guessed this Lisa was really a careful and calculated person, probably wanting to create a comfortable bond with me first in the form of friendship for us both to get to know each other. As far as I couldn't hold the temptation I had towards her, I was glad she didn't rush things with me the way I did to my previous Lisa.

Everything was going to be a mess if I rushed things.

I also felt like I was accepted by her friends, well, at least that was how they made me feel. The Kims had been really nice to me the moment they arrived until the end of the dinner, teasing and asking questions about me that seemed so genuine. This was also what I wanted in my life, in my original universe. Those women didn't just accept me as Lisa's girlfriend, but also as a human being when they adored my cooking so much. And that gave me a different kind of happiness when I finally felt respected for my career of choice other than being compared to Lisa's.

But those weren't the only things that disturbed my thoughts at the moment, I got other major stuff that had started to weigh my chest as well. One of them was definitely about Lisa.

I loved her. Yes, I loved her so much. I had learned to love her to the point that I couldn't think of my previous girlfriend the way I used to. My feelings had grown to love her to an extent where I felt like I had never loved someone else; there was no other Lisa in my heart before her. She had always been the Lisa I loved. She is my only Lisa. But that was also the same feeling that brought guilt into me—I had lied to her.

Love is never a reason to lie, it doesn't validate or make the liar less guilty just because she did it because of love. A lie was a lie no matter what reasons behind it. And that was why I couldn't stop thinking about that matter. Lisa, the woman I loved, had no idea about me. In her eyes, I was a cook in a street food stall in Camden Town that she thought she had known for more than a year. In her eyes, I was just a lady from a small town in Northampton who moved to London for better pay. In her eyes, there might be nothing to get suspicious about Chae Richards, considering everything looked normal so far. But how long could I pretend?

How long could I pretend to be someone that I wasn't and live in a world that wasn't even my place? How long could I lie to Lisa and have a good time doing it? How long could I stay here, acting and losing myself from God's path? How long could I be here, only to find out that I didn't want to leave? And when Lisa's death had come, considering I couldn't stop things that would still happen no matter how many universes I travelled to, then what?

When this Lisa leaves me forever, then what?

Where else can I go to be with her?

"You shouldn't have done that"

A soft voice startled me from my thoughts, making me turn to the side and revealing Jennifer's sweet looking face to my gaze.

"Sorry?" I chuckled nervously.

"You should join us at the table, Chae. Don't bother with the cleaning."

"Oh, I just had to" I smiled. "I think it has been my habit to do so."