SIBLINGS-IN-LAW:LOVE & CONSEQUENCES

THIRTY-TWO

NTOMBENHLE MAYIZA

My mother is probably losing her mind and as for my father, he is probably spitting fire on everyone, I just know that my disappearance is giving them a hard time. (Sigh). My husband, I cannot imagine  what I have put him through, I saw him on the news and on the news papers, nothing was said much except that, “THE BUSINESS TYCOONS' DAUGHTER HAS GONE MISSING” and also that my husband was taken him for questioning, God, I hope that they are not suspecting him with for my disappearance.

I am locked up in an exotic master bedroom, it is a very beautiful room, I love it a lot but, I do not belong here, I want to go home, I miss my family and this man is not doing anything easy for me.
“Honey, I'm home!” Oh God, he is back. His presence just makes me breathe heavily like I am about to give birth, oh my baby, I don’t know if these are hormones but, I bet you that my pregnancy has got me craving things, weird things.

The door unlocks before it opens, he walks in. He comes and sits next to me on the bed and pecks my lips… Yep, he does that everyday, I don’t know but I think he has a missing screw. I am trying by all means to play by his rules because, you can never know what I person like him can do to you. All that I am scared for, is my baby. He has not picked up that I am pregnant yet, and I am not sure what will happen when he finds out. I cannot hide this forever, it will eventually grow.

“Sweets, just as you requested in the  morning, I had bought the iNkomazi that you asked for.” I just give him a weak smile and nod.
“Thank you.” He holds my waist, I flinched but, he does not care.
“You won’t believe who I saw today… Your ex husband.” My heart skips a beat, just to hear about him makes my day. I frown when he starts laughing like a lunatic, he is even holding his stomach, showing that he is laughing so serious that even tears form on his eyes.
“He is such a fool.” He says, after a good ridiculous laugh. I feel like kicking him on his balls like, who does he think he is calling my husband a fool? I just say nothing and keep quiet.
“You should have seen him smiling like a mad person when he was holding the photo frame of a photo of you both, he looked so stupid… Shame man, his son recently had a surgery and it was successful.” I completely forgotten about Lindokuhle, oh that sweet soul.
“How is he?” I found myself asking that question without thinking. He stares at me with a serious face, I look down and play with my fingers.
“You want to know how he is?” I don’t answer. “Look at me and answer me!” I startle and do what he says.
“No…” I shake my head, my tears flow down to my cheeks profusely. “I don’t want to know, I’m sorry.” He looks at me, giving me a pity look.
“Ooh sweets, did I scare you? I’m sorry about that, okay baby.” He wipes my tears with his thumbs, leaving kisses on my lips, now and then.
“He looks like a Zombie.” He laughs a little.
“Why are you doing this?” He takes my hand and intertwine our fingers.
“You belong to me, baby. You are mine.”
“I am married to him.” His hand tightens but not enough to hurt me.
“Not for long. I am going to marry you, make you my wife. And you will forget about him.” I shake my head.
“I want him… I love him.” He squeezed my hand harder, he didn’t look like a man I once fell in love with months ago, he looked dangerous.
“Please Clayton, you are hurting me… Aaaww.” I am flinching on the bed and he is not letting go.
“I am doing this because I care for you can’t you see?” He is showing no emotions, I am scared he might hurt me.
“Ye-yes, ooouch…”
“Ich liebe dich, verstehst , du nicht!?” (I love you, don’t you see that?) I am afraid of what he might do if I give him a wrong answer so, I return the same gesture.
“Ich liebe dich auch, baby.” (I love you too,) He let’s go of my hand and his eyes warms up.
“Really, you do?” Without hesitating I answer.
“Yes, yes I do.” I cry holding my painful hand.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.” I say what he wants to hear, he smiles.
“I love you too, come here.” He pulls me into a hug. “I knew that you love me, I just needed to confirm it. You only got married because you were forced into it but, you don’t love him, you love me right?” I can’t stop crying on his chest, I nod making sure that he thinks that I am on his side.

***

I just finished cooking iphuthu (Scrambled maize meal) for dinner which was meant to be for me only but, Clayton said he wants to try it out so, I am dishing out for him too. He was monitoring my every movement as if I was going to put poisoning in the food or something. Today is my first time come out from the jail cell-no wait, even jail birds get a bit of a freedom but as for me, I am only parading around his kitchen because, Clayton Martinez cannot cook iphuthu.

“There you go.” I put the dish filled with iphuthu, sugar and iNkomazi in front of him, on the dinner table before I settle down on the other chair. He looks like he will puke at anytime, a 'thank you' never hurt anyone, you know. Anyway, before I lose my appetite, let me eat.
“How do you eat this?” Is he being serious? This is not Germany, it’s either he eats or gives the food back to me, my baby has been craving this for a very long time, since morning imagine that!
“You don’t like it?” Like I care (rolling my eyes). I start crying when I eat a spoonful of iphuthu and iNkomazi, it feels so heavenly.
“Now why are you crying?” He looks irritated. “Yes, sweets! I don’t like it, I’ll order something for myself. I cannot eat this.” He pushes the on the side and gets busy on his phone. Not that I expected him to like the meal though so, more for me.

It is very quiet around the dinner table, it was very uncomfortable because he was looking at me whilst I was eating. I focused on my dish , just to avoid his eyes.

“Do you like it here?” He finally says something. I don’t know what to say or how to respond to that question. My heart is not here, I want to be around my family, I want to be free and comfortable at my own space. I want to be around people that love me.
“Uh.” I can’t make him angry. “I am…”
“Are you happy?” I look down, fighting back my tears.
“No.” It came out as a whisper, I bet he didn’t hear me.
“Look at me when I am talking to you!” He bangs the table, causing me to startle. You see? Just a small wrong itch, he scratches. I can’t hold my tears any longer, I am letting them go.
“ARE YOU HAPPY!?” I shake my head.
“No…” I snort, he frowns.
“Tell me sweets, is it the house, the colour of our bedroom, just tell me I will fix it.” What in the hell is wrong with this man?
“I don’t belong here, Clayton. I belong with my husband, I am married.” He goes around the table to get to my side, I am so scared, I don’t know what is going to happen.
“You belong to me, Sweets, me! I am your husband! You said you love me.”  He holds his hands against his chest. I can’t upset this man any further.
“I know, I know but let us do things the right way… Take me back home because, I am still legally married to my husband.” My tears are blinding me.
“STOP SAYING THAT HE IS YOUR HUSBAND!” He roars so loud, I think I felt the house shaking. I hold my stomach because, I think I felt a sharp pain but, it vanished in just a few seconds.
“Please stop shouting.” I start wailing, shaking my head.
“I am doing everything for you, EVERYTHING but, you are throwing it back to my face… Stand up.”

He doesn’t even wait for me to stand up, he pulls me up by the pajama T-shirt that I am wearing, his pajama because, I don’t have any of my own clothes here besides the very own dress that I came wearing from the event which Clayton burnt because, It 'reeked of my husband’s semen', as he puts it.

“Clayton, please do not hurt me please…” I scream as he takes me to a different room, I think we are going to the basement, it looks like it. It is very filthy and has a pungent smell. He pushes me to the floor.
“I am sorry, I’m sorry…”
“You think that I am stupid. You want to return to that family of yours and never return back to me? Sweets, I love you very much but, if I cannot have you, nobody else will.” I swear he was not like this when I first met him, he was very sweet in that first three months we met until I went MIA on him.
He walks up to the door, I try running after him but, he pushed me back down on the floor. He exited and I heard the door lock.
“Clay, can we please talk. I am scared down here… CLAYTON!” I bang on the door.
“Clayton! Please open for me.” My mucus gets into my mouth but, I don’t care about that. I just want to get out of here.

After a while of knowing that, there is no way that I am getting out of here, I saunter back to sit on a chair, I am tired.