Kokichi? {Oumasai/Saiouma} {HIATUS}

-19-

"The man always wondered why everything ended up getting taken from him...always lost and confused. Wanting nothing more than-" Shuichi got cut off my Kokichi nuzzling closer to him. It wasn't from the initial action...it was more from the small whimper that accompanied it.

"Kokichi? Are you ok?" He asked slowly, closing the book and placing it on the table. He held his hands around Kokichi's torso trying to see his face. His face was buried into Shuichi's chest and he wasn't able to see him...but he could feel tears soaking his shirt.

"Baby, I need you to talk to me. What's wrong?" He asked rubbing his back wanting nothing more than to Kokichi to say something. He wanted him to tell him why he was crying...and he was already feeling guilty for not noticing this earlier.

"Shuichi...why am I...here?" He asked making Shuichi frown.

"What do you mean love?" He asked calmly slowly stroking his hair. He wanted to know what made him all on edge all of a sudden.

Kokichi was just cuddling as usual before and then he just got sad again...this isn't the first time this has happened...but he hates when it does. He wants his baby to feel safe and loved when he is around him. The last thing he would want is for him to feel alone and scared.

"Why did I make it this far? When I wasn't supposed to?" He asked quietly again. Shuichi was even more confused...even though he kind of started understanding what he was saying.

"I want you to be here...it doesn't matter what they have said before...I want you here with me because I love you Kokichi," He said kissing his head slowly pulling him closer to him. His legs were wrapped around his waist and his arms were wrapped around his neck. He was shaking a bit and Shuichi tried his best to get him to calm down.

He didn't say anything and there was a long silence. Kokichi just felt useless...he didn't feel like he was wanted or needed. Like he always has before. No one has ever really liked him as much as Shuichi...and he doesn't want to mess this relationship up just like the last one.

He wants Shuichi to be smiling and laughing all the time. He wishes he could smile and laugh all the time...genuinely smile and laugh all the time...but he hasn't been able to do that without Shuichi. But with Shuichi he has felt the happiest he ever has! It's easier to be himself and easier to want to show his true feelings...but he is always afraid that it's too good to be true.

Worried that Shuichi never liked him in the first place...worried that he is becoming too dependent and that if he leaves he won't be able to make it. He never wanted to become like this...but being with Shuichi helps him to be able to want to get better and want to be able to have good friends who listen.

But this has never happened before and he hates having to walk into the unknown feeling so alone...and so scared. Shuichi on the other hand was afraid. Afraid that Kokichi was scared of him...and that he wasn't being good enough for him.

"Kokichi, I love you so much...you mean more to me than anything else, I want you to be happy, are you still feeling stressed?" He asked, trying to pull Kokichi out of his own hole. Kokichi smiled a bit and raised his head so his eyes met Shuichi's.

Shuichi smiled at him and pulled him in for a kiss. He kept his face close after he slowly pulled away. He grazed the soft skin of Kokichi's cheek with his lips before moving to his jawline. After that he slowly moved up to his forehead placing small kisses on the way to his forehead. Kokichi giggles a little bit through the sniffles.

Shuichi's kisses helped him to forget all the things he was feeling in his head. Helping him to be able to not remember all the past failed relationships he has had before. It helped him to really smile.

"Shu~, you are smothering me~," He teased moving his hands to wipe his tears away. The tears were soon wiped by Shuichi's hands before he took Kokichi's hands in his own. He looked at him with a loving gaze that made Kokichi's heart melt.

"I know~, but you deserve all the affection I can give you," He said with another smile before kissing him again. Kokichi smiles against his lips, finally feeling ok again. Feeling better than ok again. He was feeling happy again.

Kokichi laughed again, making Shuichi blush. It was his real laugh coming out from the one he uses to tease others all the time. Shuichi loved being able to hear it! It was the most amazing sound that he could ever happen to hear. A blessing to his soul. Kokichi's real laughter.

"Well, should we finish reading~?" Kokichi teased, poking his chest. Shuichi laughed a bit while his blush increased. He knew that they should get the whole reading done but he didn't want the moment to end. He pulled Kokichi's head into his chest while he gently caressed his neck.

Kokichi sighed and shuddered at the touch. His neck was sensitive and Shuichi knew that. He loved how it always made him so relaxed and calm even though he was blushing a lot. Shuichi loves it more than anything, and Kokichi loves it! So it's a win win.

"We don't have to right now, but we should go back to my dorm sometime soon," The bell rang after he said that making both of them groan. Kokichi slowly got off Shuichi and grabbed his bag throwing it over his shoulder.

"You are always so good at telling when the bell will ring! At least in the last period~," He teased Shuichi for zoning out during the day which made him blush more. He groaned as he grabbed his bag getting ready to leave.

-Another update today! Thank you all so much for reading!!-

-ShuichiOuma010-