Jealous
I was distant to Tati the following days and it didn't help that she wanted me over their house. I kept making excuses and I know sooner than later she'd eventually feel my indifference.
I just wanted time alone with myself. To see thing clearer and to understand myself better. Feeling ko I'm back to being 12 and am in the middle of another identity crisis once again. This whole situation is messing with my head so bad the past few days, I had to stay inside my bedroom because sobrang lutang ko hindi ako makausap ng maayos. I don't want to make my brothers worry and I prefer keeping this issue to myself, so I had to suck it up and just find my way through.
"I'll go there today. Since lagi mo kong tinatakasan whenever I ask you to come ako na lang ang pupunta. Hihi. We'll video call Sam and Sasha ulit. They're in Milan daw today and they'll go shopping. I'm so excited," hyped na hyped niyang bungad ng tanggapin ko ang tawag niya.
I have no other choice now. Siya na ang pupunta, kapag pinigilan ko pa siya talagang magtataka na siya kung bakit iniiwasan ko siya. Tumango na lang ako dahil naka video call naman kami.
I'm back in bed after breakfast. Ganoon ang naging set-up ng nagdaang mga araw. Bababa lang ako para kumain pero babalik din sa kwarto para magmukmok sa kama. Siya naman ay halatang kakatapos lang mag workout. Naka sports bra pa siya at leggings. Kakain pa lang ng first meal niya for today.
"Did you hear? Kiel is dating Grace daw? That's like the best thing that happened this year. Sobrang lala ng fights nila before, tanda mo pa? Who would have thought they'd end up dating pala," natatawa niyang balita.
Tumango muli ako at napasimangot naman siya sa tanging tugon ko.
"What is your problem girl? I'm like talking to a mute. Can't you at least converse? Ano bang nangyari sa'yo?" kompronta niya.
"It's nothing Tati."
"It's not nothing Ash. You can't fool me. Enzo messaged me yesterday asking if we had a fight or if you're going through something because all you do daw in a day is lay in bed. I had no idea what's going on with you. I'm getting more worried now you're denying it, even with me," pagalit niyang sinabi.
"But it's the truth. It is nothing. Believe me," sa boses ko ay halatang halata ang pagmamakaawa. I sound so desperate to make her believe me that my previous statement looked more of a lie.
"Get a hold of yourself Ash. I don't know what's happening but by the way you sounded just now, I'm on the verge of having a panic attack. You're definitely hiding something from me and I can't stomach the thought of it," tumayo siya mula sa pagkakaupo sa lamesa nila.
Narinig ko pang nag utos siyang iligpit ang pinagkainan niya. Ipinagtaka ko naman dahil wala pa atang limang subo ay umalis na siya. Naglalakad na siya papunta sa kwarto niya base sa nakikita kong backgroung niya.
Matapos ng usapan nila ng house helper nila ay tumingin muli siya sa screen para magpaalam, "I'm going there ASAP and we'll have to talk. Ta-ta!"
Napapikit na lang ako sa aking mga ginawa. Siguradong walang tatanggapin na excuse si Tatiana mamaya. Kailangan ko na magisip ngayon pa lang ng medyo kapanipaniwalang istorya.
Maya maya pa ay dumating na nga si Tati. Alam ko dahil rinig ko agad ang ingay niya sa baba, isa isa niyang binati ang helpers naming nasa baba pati na rin sina kuya. Walang katok katok ay pumasok siya at agad na tumabi sa pagkakahiga ko sa kama. Yumakap pa sa akin ng nakatagilid dahil diretso lang ang pagkakahiga ko habang nakatingin sa kisame.
"Soooo, what's up?" malambing niyang tanong.
Sa tono at ugali niya ang hirap magsinungaling. Napapikit ako sa konsensya.
