PUISSANCE • 𝔄 𝔏𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔬 𝔅𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔖𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶 • (discontinued)

Breaking Point

August 5th

Xia

It's been 5 days of me laying in my bed staring at the ceiling. Only occasionally leaving my room for food and bathroom breaks. I also got everyday calls from K and J. I never really told them what happened though. It felt weird waking up and not having a cute good morning text to read off my phone from Melo everyday. I still couldn't help but be mad at him, he said some really shitty things that day and I wasn't going to forgive and forget without actually having a grown conversation about it. My mom came in to my room to check on me way too frequently which led to me lying and saying that my stomach just hasn't been feeling well lately. She really liked Melo and I didn't want her to get disappointed.

To get my mind off things I texted my girl Jess. It's really been a while since me and the girls hung out.

Xia: Hey Jessypoo what are you doing today. I could really use a girls outing :(

Jessica😋: yeah of course, i'll text K. Meet us at the diner so we could talk. I could tell something's up with you ma'am....

I read the message and reluctantly got out of bed. I wasn't even in the mood to get dressed or do anything for that matter but I had to force myself to get out.

-

Once I walked into the diner I took my phone out of the pocket of my sweats and texted one of the girls to make sure they were here. Before I could even send the text I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey boo, we're sitting over there." It was Kamora. She pointed to the table where Jessica was already sitting sipping on a glass of water.

"So what's up?...Jess said your text wasn't too happy. It must not be good cuz you're wearing sweats in August Cali weather." She asked as we walked to the table.

"I had a huge argument with Melo and we're really not on good terms right now." My voiced wavered as I sat down.

"Wow mamas you look a hot ass mess." Jess gasped as me and Kamora sat across from her.

"Yeah I feel like it too." I sighed and put my chin in my hands.

"So spill the beans, we're listening." Kamora rubbed my back with her hand.

"Well it started when Melo saw me talking to Malik at Jere's house warming party. He got really jealous and mad and went full on dick mode."

"Oh....he's back in town?" Jess asked her eyes widening in surprise.

"Yeah imma get to all that lemme just tell y'all from the beginning."

I explained everything that happened to the girls and the whole time through Kamora looked really zoned out, like something was on her mind. She definitely looked like she wanted to say something.

Jess agreed with me that he was acting way out of line but she put some things into perspective for me on my end also..like the fact that I never really told Melo about Malik so the whole thing probably caught him off guard.

"K? Girl you were zoned out like half the time we were talking you okay?" Jess asked.

"Yeah it's just- I- Xi I saw something yesterday when I was at Eli's and I didn't know if I should bring it up. Especially now since I didn't know you guys were having problems...I mean it might not be an issue." Kamora said nervously.

"Just go ahead, if I have to fuck Melo up then I will because he's just been acting fucking stupid lately." I rolled me eyes.

"Well I did a little surprise pop up on Eli and it turns out he was hanging out with Melo. He said they were talking about something and that he was about to leave soon so I could just come in. I didn't actually see Melo until I walked in and saw him sitting in Eli's living room with another girl, just him and her. I said hi to Melo to see if the girl would turn her head around also so I could get a better look. They indeed both turned around and the girl was none other than Melo's ex that he speaks soooo badly about. Melo looked a little stressed but her? She looked happy as ever. I was thinking maybe he wasn't expecting to get seen by me."

Once Kamora was done with her story my eyes narrowed hard and I started to chew on my bottom lip. I forgot that K and Jess have been friends with Melo longer than i've known him and got the unlucky honor of actually seeing Melo's relationship with his ex grow, flourish and then end in a hell fire. I didn't know who or what this girl even looked like, just that she was no good for Melo.

"Woah woah woah, not Ashley? Please tell me not her. I don't like that bitch.." Jess was unnerved.

"Bingo sis..." Kamora shook her head slowly.

The name struck a bell for some reason, I didn't know why. Even though Melo or anyone else ever mentioned her name it felt familiar, like I've seen it or heard it before.

I started to feel funny, Melo being friendly with his ex was different from me being "friendly" with mine. Malik didn't break my heart or change me into a person I didn't want to become. We've always been close, friends before we even started dating. Melo on the other hand, has literally poured his heart out to me about how this girl did him so dirty and changed his character. He said that he was trying hard to change, and for me. This boy had trouble even mentioning her name. He had the nerve, the audacity to compare me to that bitch out of anger but now, NOW he wants to be boo'd up with her on Eli's fucking couch.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey...Xi you're crying...." Kamora's voice rang through my ears.

I was crying.

My vision was blurred and my tears were falling into a basket of fries that Jess had ordered earlier. I didn't know why, if Melo wants to get revenge or whatever he thinks he's doing, I at least hope he was happy with the results. It just hurt, for him to go back to a person that hurt him so bad in the past, a person I promised to never be.

It hurts.

I couldn't say anything, or move. My anxiety was moving at full speed and I was overthinking every sick possibility of what Melo could be doing with that girl. I just wanted to go home. But I couldn't get up.

"That's it I'm going to kick Melo's ass my damn self." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jess lifting herself from the table.

"Jess no forreal we have to get her home. I think she's having an episode, she's told us she hasn't had any issues with her anxiety since elementary school but she is not okay right now..." I was still in the same position, head down tears making trails down my face. I wanted to get up but I couldn't. My brain was only processing one thing, four letters, M E L O. I felt like my heartbeat was playing on loudspeaker.

"K we took your car so you follow behind me, i'll drive Xia home in her car. I think Ms. Carter is at work so we should call Jeremiah." Jess was actually being serious.

"Alright let's get you out of here Xi, we got you." I was being lifted from the table by my arms. They helped me to the car, it wasn't till after driving for I few minutes my heart beat calmed down and I finally felt in control of my body. My brain was still working a double shift but the tears slowed. I don't know why it hurt this bad, they were just sitting on a couch. But my brain won't allow me to think that that's the only thing that's been going on these past few days we weren't talking. She caused him so much. Maybe it hurts because I care about him too much and for him to easily go back to someone that caused him pain, is causing me pain. He didn't text me not once this whole time. Did I matter to him right now?

We finally pulled up at my house. I was so relieved to see it.

"Alright Jess called Jere so he could help you through this and sort things out." I shook my head and sniffled.

"You can get out right?"

I shook my head again.

We both opened our doors, Jess was right by our side while walking me up to my doorstep.

The I heard the words "oh no..." faintly fall out of Kamora's mouth. I looked up from my feet to see what she saw.

And there he was.

Melo sitting on my porch, looking like his normal self, just a bit more nervous.

But I wasn't fully down from my breakdown. Seeing his face only made me think of him and the other girl and made me hurt all over again.

• • • • • • •

anxiety do be kicking my ass tho...