Uncomfortable||TVD||

IX. Safe word

I walk back into the room, seeing Katherine writing in the diary still. "What kind of sentimental idiot writes down everything they feel?" Katherine scoffs, tossing another paper over her shoulder.

"Elena." I state, shrugging, sitting in one of the chairs, "Stef-  Stefanie, a girl i went to school with." I say glancing at Stefan.

"Is that what the prophecy meant when it said that all the doppelgangers were drawn together like magnets?" Katherine smirks, staring at me. "I mean, Stefan and Elena both write, you..." I narrow my eyes at her, the veins under my eyes rippling, "I was kidding." She defends.

Stefan sighs, looking over to Stefan, "I'm just trying to make sure you don't slit your wrists."

"Well, the whole neurotic granny vibe doesn't exactly make me want to live." She says with a sarcastic smile. "Do you two really have nothing better to do than sit here all day and watch me write in cursive?"

"We're trying to make sure you don't kill yourself." I glare. "At least we want to help."

"And how are you going to do that, you know, since you're so worried about Stefan, i mean, you're still having your little panic attacks?" She smirks. I clench my jaw, glaring at Katherine.

"I'm fine." Stefan shrugs. Liar.

"Yeah, of course. You are the picture of mental health, Stefan, after being locked in a safe for three months at the bottom of a quarry."

"I am dealing with it." Stefan grits out.

Katherine nods, "I know. I mean i heard you dealing with it earlier today in the library." I furrow my brows, looking over over to Stefan, "It sounded like you freaked out and broke a chair, maybe even two." Katherine looks between us, makin an 'O' with her mouth. "Oh... she didn't know... oops." She shrugged.

There was a knock on the door and i get up quickly, walking over to it, hearing Stefan sigh as i walk out of the room. I open the door, seeing Caroline. "What are you doing here?" I frown.

"Remeber, I'm your guys' sober sponsor, and i heard that Stefan needed help." Caroline smiled, I stand there slightly confused and then nod. Stefan must have called her.

"Really?" I hum. "Stefan, your sponsors here!" I call out. He walks out and furrows his brows seeing Caroline. "I'll see you guys later."

"Where are you going?" Stefan frowns as i start to walk out.

"Out."

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I sit across from Ric's headstone. I don't say anything and i just sit there. I don't know why i came here, i just felt like i wanted to be closer to him. I sit there, playing with my rings. I close my eyes, seeing Silas' face. I frown, putting my head in my hands. Everything i felt comes back, all the pain, everything. I feel a few tears fall as i remember Silas making me stand there as he did the same to Stefan.
My hands start to shake and i take a deep breath, pushing the memories away. I take a few more deep breaths, the moment passing. I wipe my eyes quickly.

I stare at Ric's head stone, letting out a puff of air. "I needed to let that out." I mutter to myself. I hear twigs snap in the distance and i frown. I stand up, walking closer, some guy stumbling through the trees. The smell of blood hits my nose and i close my eyes. I've only been drinking from Blood Bags since i came back and i can tell it's taking a toll on me.
"Are you okay?" I ask, walking forward.