It Was Always You

Brian

TW: ABUSE

Y/N'S POV:

As I'm driving, a million thoughts are coursing through my mind. Most are thoughts about home, but occasionally a thought about Lauren pops into my brain. It makes me smile for a second, but soon the memory passes and I'm back to feeling dreadful.

Ever since my mom married my awful step dad, Brian, my home life has been miserable.

He's extremely homophobic so he obviously doesn't like me. I didn't want to come out to him, but of course my mom outed me. He's the only person that truly terrifies me.

A couple of minutes later, I pull into my driveway and get out. I walk up my entrance and open the door. As soon as I do, the stench of alcohol fills my nostrils. I look over to the right and see Brian passed out on the couch, beer bottle in hand.

I quietly make my way up to my room, not wanting to face the wrath of his drunken self. Once I successfully got into my room, I plop myself down on my bed and pull out my phone.

As per usual, I have zero notifications on my phone, despite not checking it for a couple hours. I open Spotify and start playing my go to playlist. I laugh to myself as "Girls" is the first song to play. I quietly sing along as my head rests on my pillow, trying to clear my mind.

I can't believe that I just met this girl a couple days ago and I've already slept over. She's my first real friend since Angie. Lauren means so much to me, I can't let anything jeopardize our relationship. I definitely can't tell her how I feel. I just know it would ruin everything.

My head continues to rest on my pillow while I go through songs on my playlist. I shut my eyes and quietly sing along to every one of them. A couple more songs play and I continue what I was doing. Suddenly, a song comes on that I don't fully recognize. After two lines, I hear Lauren's voice and I jump up.

I forgot that I added a couple of Cimorelli songs to my playlist. Lauren's angelic voice is blasting through my phone, which makes me happy beyond belief. I smile as wide as I can and try to sing along, not remembering all the words. My happiness is soon interrupted, as I hear banging on the door.

I know what that means.

I grab my phone and pause my music, while opening the door. I'm met with Brian, rage filling his eyes.

"What are you doing?" He speaks fast, but firmly and looks me straight in the eyes.

"Uh, nothing, just listening to music." I feebly back away, scared of what he could do.

"I can hear it from all the way downstairs."
His voice is almost at a screaming level as he walks further into my room.

I back up even further, my legs almost touching the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry, I'll turn it down." My hands are shaking as I force a smile onto my face.

"If I hear you again you'll be sorry." He stomps out of my room and down the stairs, until he makes his way back to the couch.

I hold my breath until I hear him sit himself down. A big sigh spills out of me as I go to close the door. Tears form in my eyes and a wave of sadness washes over me. My body crashes into my mattress and I bury my face in my pillow. Hot tears stream down my face, seeping into my pillow. All of my anger and sadness towards him is coming out.

I want to scream as loud as I can, but I know Brian will hear me. Silent screams come out of me as I sob into my pillow. For what feels like hours later, I hear a ping coming from my phone.