a year full of life

our forever felt endless

i asked time when the spark in your caramel eyes would fade away [she told me there's no point in knowing, if it meant counting down the seconds until that moment comes - it's better to love unconditionally than lay paranoid of death]

i asked time if i'd ever stop drowning in the tears of your sorrow, or if i'd ever just learn to breathe underwater [she told me that the price of loving someone is pushing through their pain and that i better learn to sleep with the fishes if i wanted to continue loving you]

i asked time if the pain past my ribs would ever dull [this time she simply gave me a soft pained look, turning away sadly - as if the truth would be too hard for me to bare, as if she knew the pain in my heart would only amplify]

i asked time if loving someone was a waste of our lives, if it'd be better to put our love into moments or things [like karaoke nights or the moon up in the sky or your favorite cd].

i asked and asked and asked, because deep down i knew loving you was the best thing that had ever happened to me [i was just scared losing you would be the worst] and if the world ended tommorrow my wish would be to spend my last moments tangled up in you - i knew that, i truly did, but sometimes our mind has a funny way of making us think the things that hurt aren't worth it so i asked time [she, in turn, asked me her own question: if the things we love didn't hurt to lose, were we really ever truly in love at all?]

i spent our last moments together kissing your fingertips and braiding flowers soaked in the scent of petrichor, stitched in all my love, through your hair as the rain faded around us. tears burned our eyes and as we met each other's shyly - unsure - brown meeting blue, [and that light in your eyes began to fade] i smiled through the salty drops, thanking time that i had the opportunity of making thousands of little infinities with you [that your lack of time didn't damper the amount we had together, because our forever felt endless - even if it ended today]