Dear Addiction

Chapter forty

Cas's arms hadn't moved from where they rested at Dean's shoulders, while Dean's own hands stayed on the other's hips, the fabric of his button up unnoticeable to Dean's frozen fingers. "I can't do that." Cas finally replied. His blue eyes wide as he looked up, tears no longer falling, though his eyes now held a red tinge to them, and his cheeks were a slight pink. 

"Yes you can." Dean insisted, his voice low and steady. "You can stay with me while you figure everything out, I've got tons of room."

"What would I tell Logan."

"Nothing." Dean brought his hands to Cas's, slowly lacing his numb fingers with other's and bringing them to their sides. "We could leave before he gets off work."

"And Jack?"

"He comes with us."

"What would I tell him?"

Dean paused for a moment, his gaze darting across the other's face. His slightly pinkening noise, the unreadable expression his features sat in, his tousled black hair. He spoke in a mostly flat tone, though there was something else to it, something lighter, possibly consideration. Dean hoped so.

"Whatever you want to, whenever you're ready."

"Dean."

A moment of silence passed, Cas not continuing to speak, or seeming able to. "Cas," Dean began, "If you can't do it for yourself, do it for Jack. You said it yourself, he deserves better."

"Okay."

"What?" Dean's gaze darted across the other's features, surely disbelief across his own. He waited for a laugh, for another argument from the other, anything, though as the seconds ticked on nothing came. "Really?"

Cas pressed his lips into a tight line before giving a small nod of his head.

"Awesome," Dean couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, or the lightness to his tone. "Okay, cool, umm-" He took a deep breath, trying to stop his grin, though with little success. "You pack, talk with Jack. i'm goin' t'grab my stuff, I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay."

Dean gave the smallest nod of his before he finally let go of Cas's hands, and walked back into the apartment, the sound of Cas's footsteps behind him. Dean was going back to LA, and Cas was coming with him. They were going together. Cas had said yes. Cas had kissed him.

Even as Dean stepped back into Sam's apartment, and began throwing his things back into his duffle bag he could still feel the other's lips against his own. The high it had brought, the way it had sent his heart hammering, god he would do anything for that man.

"Dean?" At the sound of his name, he looked up to Sam, his brother stood in the hallway entrance, a frown across his lips. "What're you doing?"

"I'm leavin'."

"Don't you leave tomorrow?"

"I did but plans changed, so I'm leaving today," Dean paused for a moment. He licked his bottom lip, eyes darting across his brother's features, and then to the ground before going back to Sam. "With Cas."

Sam's lips parted, in what Dean assumed was schock. "Like with Cas, Cas?"

"No, with the other Cas," Dean replied, lacing his words with as much sarcasm as possible. "es of course Cas, Cas."

"Are you high?"

"No," Dean dropped the bag he had held, instead rolling up his jacket sleeve up, showing off  his inner left arm. The skin a pale tone, and for the first time in years, clear, only blue veins visible against it. "Clean as Elton fuckin' John."