Dear Addiction

Chapter twenty six

Trigger warning:
Drug use

Much like when the heroin was found in Dean's bag or the first time Dean had gotten high while in New York City or any other incident that involved Dean's habits, Sam and Dean's fight was quickly forgotten, or at least avoided. Sam no longer mentioning when Dean left the apartment at odd hours, with a simple excuse like he was getting milk, or if he spent a few hours in the bathroom. Though that didn't stop Sam's concerned looks, the rehab pamphlets that would 'magically' appear in Dean's bag, or any other disapproval of Dean's drug use.

Despite Sam's subtle pestering it was still the best week Dean had ever had. With Logan in Italy Cas was almost always around, whether it be shopping while the kids were at schools, or late night movies. By the end of the first week Dean had seen Cas more than the past months combined.

December 2nd was no expectation, with Cas over once again to watch Christmas movies.

"You broke your tooth with a slinky?" Cas questioned. He had turned to Dean, hsi head tilted in question.

They'd just finished the second home alone, and with all the kids fast asleep, Ellie and John on the floor, while Jack slept on Dean's chest, no one had much interest in starting the next. Not that Dean minded Home Alone one and two were the only good ones in his opinion. The other two were just a waste of time.

"It wasn't the completely thre slinkies fault!"

"It totally was," Sam cried. Dean sent a glare to his brother, who sat on the arm chair, while he and Cas sat on opposite sides of the couch. "You looked like that little girl from up."

"And I was fuckin' adorable."

Dean felt his heart flutter as Cas laughed. Dean couldn't help it, his eyes glancing across Castiel's features. His nose scrunched the littlest bit, eyes bright as he turned to listen to Sam tell the story of how Dean, at fourteen, managed to break his own tooth with a slinky.

Another laugh parted Cas's lips, and Dean's gaze finally dropped as he felt a blush flare across his cheeks. His eyes instead went to the mug in his hand, one Jess had painted with small bees and flowers.

Is this how Sam had felt around Jess. High without the racing of his heart. Addicted without the withdrawal. Like everything fit into place, the long gazes, the close contact, the feeling like everything was going too fast or too slow. Was that how Sam felt whenever he was around her, when he'd fallen head over heels for her.

Dean looked up from the mug, eyes lingering on Cas who still looked to Sam. Had Sam looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Like each glance was going to be the last. Like every detail had to be memorized.

Slowly Dean looked down to Jack, the child still fast asleep against his chest. Is that that what Sam felt the first time he'd held John, utter adoration. Like everything missing in your life had been found.

Is that, the blushing, the leaning in to touches, the heart flutter, everything, how Sam had felt when he fell in love with Jess?

"Dean?" He looked up to his brother, then to Cas, both men now looking toward him with questioning looks.

"What?"

Sam sighed, "Cas was wondering if you played any sports in highschool."

"Oh yah," Dean gave a small shake of his head. "Sports weren't really my thing."

"He was too busy with his face between some gir-"

"I was too busy makin' sure your sorry ass didn't starve!" Dean cut in sending his brother the harshest glare he could muster. Through the corner of his eye he could see Cas, a small grin tugging at his lips though Dean wasn't sure if that made things better or worse. "What about you?" Dean turned to Cas, who looked back. "Any sports?"