Dear Addiction

Chapter thirty eight

"I am going to fuckin' kill that man."

"I'm going to grab a knife and stab him until he looks like... a fuckin' stab victim, and then i'm goin't burn him alive, and continue to stab him. I'm going to make his death so fuckin' painful that he'll he'll wish he killed himself." Dean ranted as he paced through the kitchen, Sam lent against the counter silently watching.

They'd just gotten back, and while Cas went to his own apartment, Dean went to Sam's, to update his brother on everything. At least that's what Dean had told Cas, though explaining the night had quickly become ranting. Sam watching in silence as Dean swore, and threatened Logan.

Dean stopped in place. "What would a court case look like?" He asked, turning to his brother, who at first only looked back in shock.

"Uh," Sam brought his hands to his face, pushing his hair behind his ears. "I haven't dealt with a parental abduction case recently, but I think Logan could be facing ten to fourteen years of jail." Sam hesitated for a second, eyes glancing across Dean in a way that Dean assumed was concern, or maybe dread. "That is if Cas chooses to press charges."

"Of course he's going to press charges," Dean cried. "The guy took his fuckin' kid."

"He hasn't called the cops."

Dean clenched his fists, glaring as harshly as he could at the other. He was going to stab Logan, and then Sam."When Cas presses" Dean began, voice steady but harsh, his blood boiling. "What're his chances of winning?"

"So far good." Sam replied. "If it can be proven that Cas didn't give Logan consent he'll win. Anything-" Dean felt his stomach drop as Sam took a hesitant breath, "anything that happens to Jack, only makes his chances better."

"And what about calling the cops?" Sam raised an eyebrow, "what'll we need?"

"From what I know, custody papers, passports, a list of anything missing. Try not to touch or move anything."

Dean nodded. "I should get back to Cas." He stepped away from his brother, pulling his leather jacket closer to his body.

"Call me if you find anything."

"Yah."

He didn't give Sam another glance, instead making his way back into the hallway, and then into Cas's apartment. When he stepped back into the empty apartment, Dean made his way down the hall, first glancing into Jack's empty room, and into Cas's where he found the other laying across the bed, back to the door.

"Hey," Dean hummed. He walked to the empty side of the bed and laid across it so he faced the other's back. "How're you holdin' up?

Slowly Cas rolled over to face Dean. He didn't look completely awful, or maybe Cas always looked on the verge of breaking, his skin it's normal colourless tone, light purple bags under his eyes, and lips pressed in a tight line. Though his eyes now held a red tinged to them.

Cas didn't reply at first, eyes lingering on Dean. His lips slowly parted though even still it took a moment for him to speak. "I'm fine," Cas said, his voice monotone, and low, matching his blank expression.

"Cas-" Dean began. For a moment Dean considered raising his hand, letting it brush across the side of the other's face, across his stubble, align his jaw line. Would his skin be warm to Dean's touch. Would it be a comfort in his spiralling emotions. Despite his wants, Dean kept his hands at his side, instead continuing to stare at the other. "You aren't fine."

"I am."

"Cas you don't have to be fine."

"Does that do me any good?" Cas snapped. His words were so harsh, Dean didn't reply, voice stuck in his throat. His gaze stayed on Cas's the other looking back with his blue eyes. Blue eyes that with each passing moment, became more and more watered. "What am I going to do?"