Dear Addiction

Chapter forty six

"Then he lied to me," Dean explained as he walked, one hand holding his phone to his ear, while his other was buried in his jacket pocket. He could hear a breath through the other side of the phone as Benny began to reply, though Dean quickly cut him off. "I don't get it, why can't he tell me?"

"Are you two together?"

"No," the word came out immediately, laced with a bitterness Dean hoped Benny wouldn't notice. "But the guys a douchebag."

"Most exs are."

"This guy's especially douchebagish." Dean explained, exaggerating his words in a way that he hoped the other would understand, without him having to outright say it. "Look man, If I could shoot him or Kayne, I'd shoot him, then beat him with the gun."

"Brother, you gotta calm down."

"No, I need to fuckin' kill the guy."

He could hear a laugh through the phone, though not even the smallest smile tugged at Dean's lips. Instead he took a deep breath, his lungs filling with the chilled LA air.

It was a nicer afternoon, the sky above a light grey, the air chilled despite no wind. It almost made walking down the busy streets enjoyable, almost. Even still Dean would have preferred Baby. The familiar leather against his grip, the slight rattling in the vent, the blaring of his music. It had been a week since the incident in Nebraska, and he hadn't driven her since. No matter how much he wanted to, the idea terrified him, bringing a weight to his chest that made breathing almost impossible.

"He deserves it," Dean mumbled. He could hear another laugh though the phone, only making Dean's jaw clench. "Are you sure there isn't a chance you're jealous?"

"I'll shove this phone up your ass."

Before Benny could reply a loud screeching came from Dean's right. His gaze immediately turned to the busy streets, his heart picking up paze, as his gaze darted across the cars, though the only sign that anything had even happened was the loud balre of a horn.

Despite that his heart didn't calm down, the tires screeching seeming to echo through his head, getting louder with each repeat. Blaring through his ear drums, matching the racing pace of his heart. His hands flew to the sides of his, though it did nothing to stop the sound. The screeching seeming on permanent repeat no matter how hard he tugged.

His eyes squeezed shut, the fear rapidly bubbling in his chest, burning through his body.

The sound of tires screeching.

The low sounds of his gasped breaths.

He tugged harder at his hair, grinding his teeth together, in an attempt to gain control, though no matter what he tried it always seemed lifetimes away. The panic and sound spiraling around him for what seemed like hours, until all at once the sound stopped, his eyes still squeezed shut, body tense with adrenaline.

He took a gasped breath, the sound blaring through the sudden silence, before his eyes fluttered open meeting a woman who stood in front of him. "Sir?" Dean didn't respond instead glancing around the street. He wasn't sure when he had fallen to the ground, though he now sat on the cement, the streets still busy, though people swerved to avoid him, giving quick glances as they passed.

"Sir? Are you okay."

Dean looked back to the woman, his gaze resting on her worried expression,as he tried to find his voice. "I'm fine," he finally mustered.

His eyes dropped to his hands, his blood covering his fingernails. Another shaken breath filled his lungs, heart still hammering, as if insisting there was danger, a danger Dean couldn't figure out.