Data Lore Desire

Around And Around And Around We Go Where We Stop Nobody Knows

**** This chapter is based off of  Season 5 Episode 16 Ethics  with an "honorable mention" of Episode 18 Cause and Effect and Episode 23 I Borg****

When Worf was sent to Sickbay with a crushed spinal cord which left him paralyzed Dezirae ended up watching over Alexander more than she ever had to in any of the times he has been on the Enterprise before though she shared that honor with Deanna as well Dezirae was.... uncertain about the neurological specialist Dr Toby Russell that came aboard to "help" Beverly try to find a way to help Worf walk again the woman seemed more interested in the work than her patient(s) "I may have done something "bad".."  Dezirae tells Worf when she comes to visit him in sickbay "how so!?"  Worf asks "Alexander has been missing you something fierce and has asked to see you on many occasions and since Dea and I know you do not wish for him to see you this way I.... had the computer make a hologram of you.... it teaches him "the ways of a Klingon".... so yes that means more schooling for the poor lad.... and it does the things Alexander had explained that you two do together when you are off duty.... I also would sometimes leave him alone while he's "with you".... I stay outside the door so he's not COMPLETELY alone but I didn't know what else to do and you know I hate to see people I care about sad so I....!"  she explains she stops when she hears him start laughing it started out as a small low laugh then gradually grew as the seconds went by once his laughter stopped he says with a smile "thank you"  she smiles then replies "I wanted to find a compromise help you keep your Klingon honor while helping him see his father in the way YOU like to be seen but still.... he knows it's just a hologram so it isn't the same in many aspects but he seems grateful that I am trying to satisfy BOTH of your "needs" it doesn't completely suffice but temporary yes I know the visiting doctor went over Beverly's head which isn't going to make Beverly happy at all but all in all it's your choice no one can make it for you but you and with you all killing yourself before even attempting to TRY and heal not much is known of your people's neurological medicine so...."  she pauses then says "Bev is more empathic than this doctor Beverly thinks of the patient this other doctor thinks only of the work.... and R.... he does his best to respect your people's beliefs but he also has his own ethics to think about.... death without even attempting to live.... if you ask me it isn't very warrior like at all!.... you should have known that anyone on this ship that considers you not just a friend but a member of their family would say "no" I believe even Data would disagree to preforming the Hegh'bat ceremony as would I.... though you knew that already didn't you!?.... think on it this way Worf.... you are not the only one suffering and if you actually went through with it.... don't be surprised if Alexander puts it in his head to join you.... Dea and I would do our best to talk him out of it of course but he gets his stubbornness not just from one parent but two"  even though his eyes were sad Worf chuckles as she continues "he's already lost his mother not only that but a part of him might also think that your parents no longer want him after they bring him back to you and now he just might lose his father either to his fathers own Klingon selfish stupidity or to a surgery that might not work.... there is only so much a child his age can handle and you have to remember he wasn't raised to be Klingon.... and he's more empathic than his father.... he's not weak by any means but things soak into Alexander like a sponge they don't bounce of him like a trampoline"....  

Data rushes to the Turbolift on the Bridge when he hears Dezirae scream in pain while gripping her forehead she stops screaming when she feels Data grip her arm gently and her eyes lock on his "what is she doing!?!"  Dezirae asks with a soft quiet tone Data tilts his head in confusion "I'll be ok Data.... I need to go check on something"  she says softly he nods then backs out of the Turbolift and hears her say "Shuttlebay 1"  the doors close and Dezirae disappears then Data heads back to his station and goes to work.... "what the HELL did she do!?!"  Beverly hears Dezirae shout as she storms into the Shuttlebay and she knew that her friend must have felt the death of one of the survivors from the transport ship Denver and she walks over and explains what had just happened "if you needed an extra pair of hands you could have called upon me.... Dea's with Alexander at the moment though he could use a distraction even though I know you wouldn't approve of this one I think him helping someone just might be the distraction he needs.... something he could tell his father about later that would hopefully make him proud and he'd be learning something new as well which is always good for a growing mind like his"  Dezirae tells her Beverly smiles then she puts her friend to work "oh.... could you call the Bridge!? I think Data might be worried that I am still affected by well... this....!"  Dezirae asks waving her hands at the injured people in the Shuttlebay "....please!"  she adds Beverly smiles and nods then contacts the Bridge to let those on it know that Dezirae is helping her with her mountain of patients which brought relief to all upon it knowing that she was ok once the message was delivered via com Beverly asks "why would he be "worried"!?"  Dezirae replies "I was headed to the Bridge for my daily cup of tea with Jean-Luc when I felt the effects of the inner turmoil the borathium made the patient suffer because he could not scream them out himself"  Beverly nods with a sad expression on her face "it wasn't your fault Bev you are but one person trying to do the job of many just like Jean-Luc does everyday and just like him you can't be everywhere or look over everyone's shoulder and make sure they're doing things "by the book" every second.... I'll just have to postpone our "tea ritual".... uh.... "tradition" to a later time.... which I am used to"  Dezirae says Beverly chuckles.... Dezirae made a "serious request" to Picard during their "traditional tea time ritual" she asked him if Data could take a break from his duties when Worf went in for surgery since they didn't know what would happen and she did not know what affects it would have on her body and Picard of course granted said request without even thinking about it first Dezirae treated the time of the surgery as a "nap time" for her like the other times when she would go through similar things and he would have her "go rest" with Data watching over her with a worried expression on his face as she held his hand squeezing it when she felt the slightest bit of pain then falling asleep when Worf temporarily died and waking up when he was "reborn"/came back to life... Worf told her that he would have liked it if she had assisted in his surgery but he understood her reason for not being there for he knew how affected she would become because he knew that she was not always able to suppress feeling everyone elses trauma he was glad to know that Picard had allowed Data to play nurse as the saying goes for her when he went "under the knife" the irony of that phrase has yet to escape either of them since the Klingon suicide ritual is done with a dagger.... Data started to worry when Dezirae's body started to jolt in her sleep as though like someone was trying to restart her heart it did that 5 times then calmed and a minute or so later it bounced as though she was just taking her first breath after holding onto it for awhile and he became relieved as she softly whispers a name in her sleep "Alexander"  and she woke back up a minute or so after that.... a few weeks later Dezirae ended up living through a nightmare being the only one who could not only remember but FEEL everyone's death repeat itself for 17 point 4 days when the Enterprise got caught in a temporal causality loop Data was the only one to sense the extra sadness within her and yet had no idea how to make her happy again though he did try on many occasions and in many different ways he even had her join him in a game of poker which she has never done before.... she just observed but he was glad she came anyway.... he even had her shuffle the deck for him a couple of times just so she would feel like "one of the group".... it was after they figured out what was going on that Data understood why she was trying to hide her sadness though he was curious as to why she didn't try to warn them as she always has "I was never on the Bridge when it happened so I did not know how you continuously tried to save the ship from whatever you were experiencing I had never experienced a time loop like this before so the feeling was new to me besides.... why would I warn you when you would forget the "next day"!?"  she replies he nods in reply "it was bad enough to FEEL everyone's death but to actually watch it happen!.... though I suppose it must have been worse for the crew of the other ship.... all that time lost and not having a single clue what was happening to them!"  she says with a soft sad tone he hugs her and she hugs him back "I am glad you are alright"  he says "I'm glad I don't have to relive everyone's death all at once anymore but it may take some time for me to be "alright".."  she replies he kisses the top of her head then feels her smile into his chest he squeezes her a little tighter and she chuckles....