#TCW19
The time i spent with Zeus, was undeniably fun. We watched a horror movie, played at the arcade, and i actually won in our bet, that's why i'm having free dinner tonight. I grinned at the thought na, one ticket lang ang lamang ko sakanya, kaya sobrang sama ng loob niya ngayon at nakabusangot siya sa harap ko.
"Zeus, 'wag ka na malungkot. Pasensya ka na magaling talaga ako eh." pang-aasar ko.
He scoffed and grinned at me. "Go on, order what you want. I'm not sad because i'm paying for diinner, i'm sad because my ego was hurt, i was so confident! Even if i won, i'll still pay for dinner, i don't let a lady pay for my food" he said and he checked the menu again.
What a gentleman! Bagay kay Maze, para naman tumino yung kaibigan ko.
After dinner, agad niya akong hinatid sa condo namin ni Snow. I had a great time with him, i'm happy that i found a new friend. When we arrived, i unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to him.
"Thank you for accompanying me today, Zeus! I had fun" i said, and gave him a genuine smile.
He just nodded with a smirk on his face. As i got out of his car, i waited 'til he got through the driveway, then i decided to go inside. While waiting for the elevator, someone suddenly tugged my arm, at nahulog ko ang cellphone ko dahil doon. Inis kong liningon ang humila saakin, at gulat ako nang makita ko ang galit na galit na mukha ni Kio.
"Hey, hindi ka nagsabi na pupuntahan mo ako.." i said softly. I'm trying to be careful with what i blurt out, it seems like he's not in a good mood.
Hindi niya ako sinagot o liningon man lang, which made me sad. Inindian na nga ako, siya pa hindi namamansin. Wow lang! Dahil sa nagpatong-patong na inis ko ay inunahan ko siyang lumabas sa elevator at iniwan nalang basta-basta sa kabilang tower, kailangan ko magpahangin.
I went to the 6th floor garden, and sat at one of the sofa's there. I just need to breathe, ayokong sobrang magpadala sa inis, it won't do any good. As i sat there, i enjoyed the cold breeze of the night and admire the night sky. I sighed. I don't know kung anong nangyayaru kay Kio, he's keeping it all to himself. I know that i may tend to be like that sometimes, but i feel like his case was different.
I need to talk to him.
I was enjoying my last minutes before i go out and find Kio, wee need to talk, i feel like we really need to. I was about to stand up, but he was already standing in front of me. I avoided his gaze and went back to my seat. I felt the other side of the sofa submerged, as he sat there.
Silence enveloped the both of us, i'm just staring at the city lights before us, and he is too. I can feel the wind blowing through my face, as it swooned harder. I always loved the wind, it brings me comfort. But now, it't not comforting, it just feels cold.
"Why are you mad at me?" i asked. I decide to break the ice, mukhang hindi talaga siya magsasalita eh.
He scoffed and turned his gaze, his eyes are full of pain and anger. "Tinatanong pa ba yan, Calliana?" he said coldly.
Napataas ang kilay ko dahil sa paraan ng pananagot niya. Sa pagkakaalam ko, siya ang may atraso saakin, bakit siya pa ang galit? "Malamang! Kasi hindi ko nga alam diba? Kaya ako nagtatanong, i don't jump into conclusions easily." i answered, trying to calm my nerves.
"You're cheating on me!" he accused.
I was shocked. Never did i imagine that i will be accused of cheating just because I'm with a guy friend. How dare he? Sasagutin ko na sana siya ngunit inunahan niya ako. "Nalingat lang ako saglit, may linalandi ka nang iba? Wow lang! Napakabilis mo naman mamingwit, Calliana. Ganiyan ka ba sa lahat ng naging lalaki mo? Kaya ka siguro iniiwan lagi!" he said while gritting his teeth.
Sinampal ko siya. Wala akong pake kung nasa labas kami, mas wala siyang karapatan na pagbinatangan ako dahil lang nakita niya akong inihatid ng lalaki. Sumosobra na siya. I can feel my tears streaming down my face, while my heart is clenching. This is too much already. I stood up and stared at him. Sinampal ko siya ulit.
"Una sa lahat putangina mo, hindi ka marunong magtanong, hindi ka marunong umintindi. I was with a guy, yes. But it doesn't mean that i'm cheating! Pinaghintay mo ako ng dalawang oras para sa wala! Inintindi kita kasi napuyat ka, kaya hinintay kita. Inintindi kita nung hindi ka sumipot, kasi kailangan ka ng tatay mo. Tapos magpapakita ka saakin at pag aakusahan ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa? Tangina mo! Anong akala mo sa'kin, cheap? Kung hindi mo naman pala ako pinagkakatiwalaan mabuti nang tapusin na natin ito, wala din lang tayong patutunguhan." i yelled.
Ramdam ko ang paninitig ng ilang taong nandito sa labas, but i don't care. Pinunasan ko ang aking mga luha at muling humarap sakanya. "By the way, that was Zeus, a new friend of mine. Siya ang sumama sa'kin mag unwind ngayon, kasi wala ka. Hindi kita pinagpalit, ayoko lang malungkot kasi hindi kita nakasama kaya nagliwaliw ako kasama ang KAIBIGAN KO. Alam niya na may boyfriend ako, at hindi ko siya linalandi, rinereto ko siya kay Maze." i said. I saw how his eyes that were filled with rage was replaced by regret and pain.
I don't care, tho. Sana inisip niya muna bago siya gumawa ng kabobohan. Iniwan ko siya doon at umakyat na sa unit namin. Pagkapasok na pagkapasok ko sa loob ay nabitawan ko ang bag ko at napaupo nalang sa sahig habang humagahulgol. My heart was shattering, pakiramdam ko yung matagal kong pinaghirapan na buohin muli, ay nawala nanaman dahil sa isang gago na hindi marunong makinig.
"Calli? Anong gusto mong ---- OMYGOSH!" agad na napatakbo saakin si Snow nang makita niya ang itsura ko. Lumuhod siya sa harap ko at yinakap ako, i hugged her back and cried in her arms.
She knows how much i cry when something hurts, kaya hinayaan niya lang ako at yinakap habang nakaupo kami sa sahig. Tila ba parang nagrereplay saakin ang sigawan namin kanina sa baba. Wala talaga siyang tiwala saakin, iniisip ko, ano bang nagawa ko sakanya para hindi niya ako pagkatiwalaan? Oo, seloso siya. Pero wala siyang karapatan na tawagin akong malandi at akusahan akong nanalalandi dahil lang may kasama akong lalaki.
Utak asin. Ayun ang meron siya. Iniiwan daw ako lagi, kasi malandi ako? Putangina niya. Alam niya kung gaano ako nasaktan sa mga past relationships ko, alam niya na ilang beses na akong niloko. Kasalanan ko ba na nagloloko sila? Wala naman nanlalandi kapag committed ako.
Akala ko iba siya, Akala ko lang pala. Kung iisipin ko, bukod sa pamilya na meron siya, sa mga kaibigan niya at sa biological mother niya, wala na siyang ibang nakekwento saakin. Given na yung mga favorite food, color, pero never pa siya nagkwento saakin tuwing may problema siya or ano. Pakiramdam ko hindi talaga ako katiwa-tiwala.
Pagod na akong masaktan, wala na bang katapusan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko?
----------
bad Kio :((
