Something Beyond The Silence

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Am I dreaming? Tama ba ang binabasa ko? Joke lang ba ito? Can someone say the punchline already?

Bakit nag-text si Nero?!

Huminga ako ng malalim bago sinubsob ang mukha sa unan sa kama para doon sumigaw.

This is seriously questionable. Maaaring may nag-pra-prank sa akin. It's probably Gail at gumaganti na ito mula sa pang-aaway ko sa kanya kahapon. Or si Klea dahil mahilig siyang mang-asar patungkol kay Nero.

Like, why would he ask me to hang out? He even asked for my number? What?

Umayos ako ng upo at parang narinig nito ang mga tanong at kaguluhan sa utak ko nang biglang tumunog ang phone ko at nag-text siya muli.

Unknown Number:

Sorry. That's really weird and awkward. Should've thought about my text before sending that.

Tinitigan ko ang bagong text niya na iyon. It look so formal.

Unknown Number:

But I mean, if you have time I guess? If not, totally cool.

Napakagat ako ng labi at tumunog muli ang phone ko.

Unknown Number:

Just say no. I was just finding a place that's not crowded.

Me:

How about your spot?

Tulad kanina ay mabilis itong nag-reply.

Unknown Number:

No one told me that they're not uncomfortable 🤷🏻‍♀️

Natigilan ako sa nabasa. Hindi makapaniwala.

This is probably the shallowest thing that has ever crossed my mind but when I read that, I felt special.

My family, my close friends, they did things to me that made me feel really special. When we're celebrating my birthdays, congratulating  me for my acheivements, complementing me; all those stuff. Masaya ako na may mga bagay ni-re-recognize sila patungkol sa akin. Pointing out little things that only they knew. And I find it really thoughtful of them.

But this? Literally just referencing what I told him back in the rooftop a couple of weeks ago? I felt so fucking special na naalala niya iyon.

I know. Ang babaw. But for some stranger to remember that, sino ba ako para maalala niya ang sinabi ko na iyon?

Never in my life I have experienced that somehow I was actually remembered by someone who is not a family member or a close friend. I am that kid on class na tahimik. I won't bother to make an effort to talk to anyone dahil para sa akin ay hindi naman ito kailangan. And sometimes, even when I'm making a slight effort, people will still forget that I exist.

Partly my fault for not being that person who communicate with everyone but to completely forgot that I exist? That freaking hurt.

Yes, I've always been this person who accepts  myself. Yeah, sometimes I was insecure on why I prefer being this way at hindi mas naging out going pero hindi ko naman pinipilit ang sarili ko na magbago lang para umabot sa standards ng mga tao.

Tanggap ko ang sarili ko pero ang hindi ko tanggap ay ang tingin ng mga tao.

If a friend forgotten about your birthday, it kind of hurts, right? Paano pa kung buong pagkatao ang nalimutan ng iba?

I don't blame people but sometimes there are people who are just too selfish to the point that they literally forgot about someone that was on the exact room. Hindi ko alam kung paano nila nagagawa iyon. Pero iyon nga, I can't blame them. Kung ako prefer ko na hindi makipag-usap sa kanila, baka prefer nila na 'wag na tandaan ang iba. I can't complain.