What Happens in Glastonbury

Christmas Eve

"Mum, this is my friend Jesse" I said, as my Mum came into the kitchen and clocked eyes on the strange man sat at the breakfast bar eating pancakes and wearing my Dad's bath robe.

Her eyes widened at the sight of him, I wasn't entirely sure if she was getting the thigh tingle that I got every single time I looked at him or.....NO! scratch that eww, eww, eww, NOT THAT! Her eyes widened at the unexpected site of a man she didn't know in her kitchen, that was definitely it. Thanks, brain, for going there though, that's a sickening thought that's never going to leave my head and now every time I look at Jesse, I'm going to think of my Mum getting horny. Oh, for fuck's sake. I've ruined my life haven't I.

I wonder what the best way to kill yourself on Christmas Eve is? Death by poisoned mince pie maybe? Suffocated with wrapping paper, my mind was gone.. possibly to the weirdest place it had ever gone.

"Oh.. Hello" said my Mum, faking niceties, I knew she would be pissed that I'd brought a guy home without asking first, yep, like a teenager.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs Scott" smiled Jesse, politely.

"Yes" replied my Mum, weirdly.

Told you I mouthed silently at Jesse from behind my Mums head.

She stared at him weirdly for a moment, I wasn't sure which way it was going to go.

"Would you like an iced dandelion root latte?" She asked

"Uh, no... thank you, this water is fine" smiled Jesse, trying to remain polite and not laugh in her face. I raised my eyebrows at him in an 'I told you she was a fucking nut job' kind of way.

"Ok" replied my Mum as she walked over to the counter and started making herself some food, if you could call it that.

I walked over and joined Jesse at the breakfast bar, I took some pancakes from the stack of them on a plate in the middle of the counter and sat down beside him.

After breakfast we went for a walk, mostly to have a break from my parents, well I say parents my Dad had grunted some kind of acknowledgement that Jesse was in his house when he got up that morning but other than that he had been in the outhouse making some shit and we hadn't seen him by the time we left the house.

We walked down to the Tor, thankfully being Christmas Eve, it was quieter than usual, only a few people around. Jesse seemed nervous, looking behind him almost constantly, I felt like I was walking with a fugitive! At times I considered whether my initial instincts were right, and he really was a murderer or certainly a criminal of some kind, he was so jumpy and uneasy. Classic serial killer I thought.

He was wearing skinny jeans with a big baggy dark grey hoody with some kind of sports team on the front, he had a black beanie hat on, and the hood of his hoodie pulled up over his hat, he was wearing sunglasses! In December! In England! And a pair of black boots, the laces were left open, and they slopped off his feet when he walked, it annoyed me, but that's another story.

The point is he couldn't have been more covered up if he tried, I don't know who he thought was going to recognise him from the 2 and a half inches of the bottom of his face that was showing!

As it turns out, everyone! We got about half a mile down the road from my parents' house when two young teenage girls ran towards us, I thought they were about to mug us or something, I was braced to knock them out (ok, probably not but it makes me sound less wimpy than what I actually did)

As the two girls ran up to Jesse, I actually stood behind him like a human shield!

"Oh my god!! You're Jay Summers!" Gushed one of the girls, attempting to hug Jesse. I was tempted to flick her away, like you would an annoying shit fly, but I held back.

"Hey, yeah, good to meet you" smiled Jesse,

"Oh my god, I can't believe it!! Can I get a picture with you please?" She said excitedly, pulling her phone from her pocket

Before Jesse could even answer the girl had her arms

wrapped around him with her phone held out in front as her friend positioned herself on the other side of him.

"I love you so much!" gushed the second girl, clinging onto his arm

Jesus Christ! I thought, have a bit of dignity, girls! But it seemed all dignity went out the window as they drooled over him for a few minutes, telling him how amazing he was and how gorgeous he was and how much they loved his voice and his music and his band and his face and his dog and his little toe! Ok so they didn't quite say that, and I have no idea if he had a dog, but you get the picture. It was embarrassing and nauseating and by the time they were done Jesse's head must have expanded to about 8x the size!

I needed to bring him down a peg or two!

I managed to prise him out of the clutches of the two girls and drag him down the street to safety.

"Christ on a bike! What was that?!" I asked as soon as we were out of earshot

"That is my life!" Smiled Jesse,

"That's what I tried to tell you about before, this happens to me literally everywhere I go, all day, every day no matter how far away I go, they find me!" He said as we strolled down the street.

I could see the Tor in the distance

"That's annoying! to be honest I'd forgotten you were a singer, you're just Jesse to me" I explained, honestly.

"That's what I love about you" said Jesse, wrapping an arm round my shoulder playfully as we walked.

He wasn't someone famous in my eyes, and I really didn't care, he was just Jesse, the possible murderer I met in a bar. I couldn't imagine him being famous, maybe I should have googled him or found some videos of him singing, ya know just to see what he did but I hadn't even really thought of it, escaping a murderer had pretty much consumed my thoughts since I met him, but I was beginning to think he probably wasn't as dangerous as I thought as he stopped to pet a cat!

After three more similarly cringeworthy meetings with fans we managed to make it to the top of the tor, we sat down on the grass.

Let me rephrase that, we sat down on the very, very, wet and muddy grass!

"Wow, what a view. It's so beautiful up here" gushed Jesse

"Yeah, when I was a kid, every time I had an argument with my parents, or someone was mean to me at school I'd run away and come up here. It makes me feel disconnected from the world, like I'm the only one alive" I admitted

Jesse looked at me and smiled.

"I've never brought anyone up here before" I added

"Well, thank you for bringing me up here, sometimes I really need to feel disconnected" he replied. Despite not living his lifestyle I knew the feeling.

We sat staring out at the gorgeous view, the cold mist had just settled above the surrounding villages, it looked like we were sat above the clouds, looking down on earth, it reminded me of a Christmas card.

I took a deep breath in, breathing in the cool, crisp December morning air. It made my lungs feel amazing.

I felt Jesse's hand graze mine beside me, slowly he interlocked his fingers between mine, gently rubbing my hand with his thumb.

I looked at him, but he was still staring out at the view, he looked lost in thought. I squeezed his hand gently, causing him to break away from his thoughts and turn to me. He smiled, looking into my eyes and for a moment I felt something, he leaned forward a little, my heart began to race, I hadn't kissed anyone in a long time, did I still remember how to do it? Well, it was too late to worry about that as he leaned in closer, millimetres from touching

"JAY! Oh my god, it's Jay Summers!!!" Yelled a voice from behind us, making Jesse drop my hand, turn, and look. He sighed heavily. Not again. Moment ruined.

For fuck's sake! Whoever it was, was gonna get booted down the hill!