What Happens in Glastonbury

Disappointed

"Ahhhh" I sighed as I climbed into bed.

"Are you sure this is ok?" Jesse asked as he climbed into my bed next to me, wearing just his black boxer shorts hell yes this is ok! I thought, thankfully I didn't say it out loud.

"Yeah" I replied, I leaned over and turned the bedside lamp off turning back to him, there was just enough light from outside to see his face, I often liked to keep the curtains open and have the moonlight filter in, I found it really calming to have the room dimly lit by moonlight, it was like being connected to the universe in some way, to be part of something bigger, part of nature. I know, I know, what am I a fucking beaver! I just liked it, ok!

"Woah, that was intense, huh?" Said Jesse

"Yeah, I'm really sorry you had to be here for that" I said, I felt bad, I didn't want him to think that all I was, was drama! I didn't want him to run a mile, I was really starting to like him....a lot. Oh crap.

"Don't worry, you wait until you see what my life is like, drama follows me everywhere, literally! That was tame!" Said Jesse. I smiled.

We laid facing each other, with a gap down the middle of the bed, I wasn't sure what was going to happen, if anything, but what I did know was that having him here made me feel safe and I hadn't felt safe like that since I was a child, I knew that, at least, that meant something.

His words were circling in my head 'wait until you see what my life is like' there was future thought there, and I was curious to see what his life was actually like.

"What is your life like?" I asked, my thoughts spilling out of my mouth as usual.

"I mean I haven't seen much of it; you don't seem like a famous singer; you just seem like a normal guy" I said in a moment of rare seriousness

"Geez, uh, wait till we go out in public tomorrow, and you'll truly understand. it's, uh, tough! A lot tougher than I thought it would be. I mean... I always dreamed of being somebody, of hearing a song I wrote on the radio or playing a concert to thousands of people and sure the first few times it was pretty incredible but now I actually dread most of it" he admitted,

"Oh" I wasn't expecting that and didn't really know how to respond. He seemed to have the best job in the world, I couldn't really understand how he felt dread towards it.

"Why do you dread it?" I asked

"Am I asking too many questions or being too intrusive?" I asked, just to be sure, I had a habit of overstepping the line into interrogation.

"No, that is my life, it's people asking me personal intimate questions about my private life and needing to know every single thing about me and my family" he said

Oh no! I've annoyed him I thought

"Sorry..." I started, he interrupted me

"No, not you" he smiled, rubbing my arm in reassurance

"You're allowed to ask, we're, uh.. I don't know what we are but you're not a fan or a stranger, it's different" he explained

"It's cool....uh, it's just all so fake, I have people constantly telling me how great I am, how talented I am and other stuff but none of them actually know me at all, I could be an absolute asshole!" He joked

"Well, I was gonna say..." I laughed, trying to lighten the mood, he pushed me gently in defiance, smiling.

As our smiles faded his serious look returned, I'd come to know that look. He was about to kiss me, but I was wrong, instead he reached over and looking into my eyes brushing my hair behind my ear.

"You're so beautiful, do you know that?" He said, I didn't take well to compliments! They made me so uncomfortable, I'd rather someone called me a horrible name than paid me a compliment! My brain just could not compute compliments, it didn't know what to do with them, or how to react, so with that in mind, do you know what my response was? We'll let me tell you because it's pretty awesome... for all the wrong reasons!

"I really feel like a sandwich, would you like me to make you one?" I asked

"What?! I'm led half naked in bed with you, I tell you you're beautiful and you're thinking about sandwiches?! Olly Scott, there is something so wrong with you!" He laughed at least.

"I'm sorry, you make me uncomfortable!" I said,

He scrunched up his face like he couldn't understand what I was saying, or he was massively offended, I couldn't tell which!

"In a bad way? Do you want me to go?" He asked

"No, no! Not in a bad way..." I jumped in. Time to be serious now Olly, don't ruin the best thing that's happened to you in ages, you like him, don't fuck it up! I told myself. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for a moment of honesty, something that I found really hard.

"Uncomfortable in a really good way. I...I... really like you! Like REALLY like you! Now that I'm sure you're not a serial killer!" I said - ok so maybe a little joke was ok amongst the seriousness.

"I like you so much that I get really nervous around you, I don't wanna fuck this up.. I'm the queen of fucking things up, you know that already!" I said

He laughed.

"You won't fuck it up" he replied, That serious look was back and before I could give it much thought he lunged forward kissing me forcefully, I put my arm around his back, the feel of his warm skin was amazing, I wanted to wrap myself around him and just feel him. but I didn't, because obviously I didn't want to look like a freak!

His kiss got heavier and more intense, he cautiously placed a hand on my hip, which caused my abdomen to explode into the most intense sensation I might have ever felt from someone just touching my clothed hip! Seriously, this man was magic!

I wriggled closer to him, leaving only around an inch between our bodies touching, he was so gentle, so sensual, I was of course so horny I could burst but I felt it on another level to what I had felt before, I felt a really strong emotional and physical connection to him, it was something more than I had ever felt with anyone else, I didn't know what this feeling was, but it scared me. It didn't scare me to feel it, no, I was scared that it would go away, and I wouldn't feel it again. Bugger, I'm falling for him aren't I! I told myself.

My hands began to explore his body, I ran my hand down his chest, running a finger under the elastic of his boxers, I felt his body jerk.

I tried to put my hand in further, but he grabbed my hand and stopped me. It took me by surprise, I stopped kissing him and pulled back from him.

"Olly, there is nothing I want more than to let go of your hand right now and let you carry on but with the state of your friend downstairs and the fact that we aren't alone I just feel like it would be wrong" he explained, he was right, and it said a lot about him, not many men would have turned down sex just because of Zoe and Sam downstairs, it was obvious he wanted it to be special, and I completely understood, despite the fact that I was internally begging him to give in and curb the intense longing for him I was feeling.

"Ok, I understand" I replied, I won't lie, I was gutted

"Waiting will only make it better when it happens"

Said Jesse, which sounded like the absolute bull my parents used to tell me as a kid 'You can't have a toy before Christmas because it'll ruin Christmas for you and you won't appreciate it!' What fucking weird ass land do you live in where an extra toy before getting more toys at Christmas isn't a great thing?

It was bull, but I'll let Jesse off because he was so damn fucking cute! Falling asleep in his arms was a pretty good consolation prize.