Sugar Daddy

To Own a Life

Tee knew that he was dragging Lenny to a huge mess, when Lenny bent down on his knee and proposed to him. He knew what would happen if he accepted it. He knew that the most selfish act he could have committed in his lifetime is agreeing to marry him. And he knew that it was the most stupidly selfless act.

Because he knew that he would end up ruining Lenny's life. And he knew that he would end up in a living hell, just to give what Lenny desperately wanted. Tee was aware. But still…

But still…..

***********

"You know Beam....you and I..we chase each other's demons away. And...Lenny and Tee...they...they release their demons onto each other..."

Beam looked down, without saying anything. 

Forth spared a glance at the lonely road ahead and placed his hand over Beam's, looking at him, concerned. Only then he noticed the tear rolling down on Beam's pale cheek. Forth hurriedly pulled over to the side of the road and parked the car. He looked at him with eyes filled with worry, and cupping Beam's cheek with his hand and wiping the tear away with his thumb, stroking his cheekbone. "What's wrong love?"

And Beam's eyes became even more glossy at the endearing term, when he looked up to Forth, whose heart broke at the sight Infront of him. 

"I just…" his voice broke. "I just couldn't understand how anyone... could do that to someone they love.."

"Beam…" 

"It was so hard…" his voice trembled. "The pain I felt when I found that I was cheated on, it was unbearable. I almost never had a functioning, healthy relationship. And the ones I considered a relationship ended up with such heartbreaking betrayals"

Tears rolled down on his pale cheeks. "I rather be stabbed right in my heart thousand times than being cheated on. It is that painful"

Without saying anything, Forth bended over the compartment that was separating them and pulled Beam onto his lap.

He cupped his young lover's face and wiped his tears away with his thumb. Beam's eyes were moist and shining, as he looked deep into Forth's. His lips curved into a slight smile, when Forth kissed his forehead, rubbing his back with his warm big hand, that could grab Beam's waist by itself. 

He left a trail of kisses all over his face and captured his lips in a chaste kiss. "I never ever had anything so precious in my life. You are all I have. You are my everything" he whispered against Beam's lips. "I would never betray. I promise you...I would never lie"

Forth held him sooo close, soo tight...and for that moment he knew that the whole universe was in his arms. "I would never hurt you…"

And in his embrace, Beam was melting. Forth's love was warm like the morning sun rays. Soothing and gentle like a silk robe. It was a prayer, a lullaby. It felt so strong, so powerful that it chased away all of his past sufferings. 

And Beam felt like he had never been hurt. 

He looked at Forth lovingly, with so much adoration in his melting eyes. "Call me crazy...but...

....I'm envious of the people you killed"

He felt Forth go stiff against him. Beam chuckled. He rubbed Forth's lower lip with his thumb, looking at him under his lashes. "When you kill someone, their life become yours...I want to be yours... completely...want you to take my body...my life and soul"

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Forth's. "I wish you could just eat me up" he let out a laugh. "So that I will be in the blood that runs in your veins. I wish I could turn into air so that you would breath me in"

 He felt Forth smiling against his lips, his long fingers cradled in Beam's soft hair locks. "You know that's impossible Beam...I cannot take your life... 

because my life...my whole life...my soul and existence...it's all you"

****

A/N

It's short. I knowww. And I'm very sorry :(

Now I have to say that I'm terribly unsatisfied with this chapter and this story. Well not exactly. But it's getting harder and harder to write. The main reason is their character design. Forth's and Beam's. 

I have been writing this for a long time. And I changed the story of them in my head, many times. I mean now I have a clear one and stick to it. But due to that issue. Their character design and development seems weird. Like they don't stick to a certain vibe. Not clear. It's alright in story I guess. But it's a bit harder to write. 

But compared to that, Lenny and Tee has a better character design. Like I literally took a pen and paper and designed their relationship, characteristics. Past and present, development. So even though Their dynamic is very complicated it's easier to write. (I think that's a development in me as a writer. To be more organized) 

I was never a fan of normal healthy relationship dynamics. (I myself would never be in an unhealthy relationship but writing and reading cliché romance is kinda boring) I'm not talking about those one sided angsty relationships. No matter what partners should be on an equal ground. So anyway in case you haven't noticed, here forth beam relationship is also not that healthy. (Well compared to Lenny and Tee it is 100 times better) but…

Like I said, they both have issues. Forth's issues will be described in the next chapter. But we know he didn't have any successful relationship. 

But talking about Beam,(since his back story is almost done), He has gotten emotionally attached (to a point of an obsession). And he is so deep deep in love with Forth. And his love is unconditional (that part is very clear). He doesn't really care about what he gets in return or what he gets himself into. He just wants to love Forth and always be with him. Literally crazy in Love. That's basically it. I'm not sure whether it's a very healthy attachment style? 

Let's talk about Forth in the next chapter. Can't spoile it right? 

Not a good chapter I know. It will be better. I hope