Sugar Daddy

To be Forever Yours

Her voice...was really unbearable. It was high pitched and squeaky. Many would find it adorable. Forth did too...at some point. But now he would give anything for her to stop talking.  

"Did you know that Leonard is dating that harlot?" She went on, scrolling through the whatever the social media page she was browsing on her phone. 

Forth shifted uncomfortably on the couch, covering his eyes with his forearm. He was feeling ridiculously light-headed after meeting with the director of his girlfriend's modeling agency. And he just had to lie down on the couch. 

"Isn't he your best friend? Shouldn't you say something?" She went on.

"It's not my business" Forth muttered. 

"I heard that he is had a affair with a senior of him when he started dating Lenny"

'You have a relationship with your co-worker' Forth thought helplessly. Or at least that's what the director told him that day. Forth didn't say it aloud. And it felt like someone clawing down on his neck. Unpleasantly painful. 

Even though he didn't have that deep feeling towards her, the pain was still unbearable.  He felt ridiculed and disrespected. But what was most devastating was the hopelessness that came with it. 

When he slightly opened his eyes to look at her...she looked disgusting, a painted corpse... revolting inside…

She used to be so beautiful...look so beautiful. Is it because he found out her secret, now that she looks like that?

"He is So disgusting" she muttered.

You are disgusting.

Tee is….pitiful..

Forth has never met some as fucked up as Tee. Yes he wouldn't date him, just because of his triggering issue with infidelity. But he could never think about him as disgusting...or slutty... because when Forth had to go to a nightclub or casino or an even shady bar to pick a dead drunk, intoxicated Tee, who could barely stand up, the word 'pitiful' came into his mind above anything else. 

Forth tried not to think about him too much. He is Lenny's problem now. It was now Lenny who had to pick up what is left of him. 

His problem is right Infront of him, scrolling through her phone. He wished she was dead. He wanted her dead…

"*************************************

Forth's hands slid down, releasing that slender pale neck, from his iron grip. A sorrowful sigh escaped from his lips, as he traced his fingers on the red marks on her skin. Her slightly parted lips. Her dead eyes….

She suddenly looked so...beautiful…

***************************************

"It's only after I killed 3 of my lovers, I decided to go to therapy. Well Tee Forced me on therapy" said Forth. 

Beam was still calm and collected. "Who else knows about the murders?"

Forth stood up and went to sit by Beam, on the couch he killed his father. "Tee and Lenny, Dr. Kongthanin"

"You are a criminal"

"I know"

"Aren't you afraid?"

"I never used to be afraid. But now I am" Forth replied.

Beam smiled, placing his hand on his cheek and looking at him longingly. Forth felt so loved that it almost made him tear up. Beam looked at him with so much love and devotion and with such a craving, and Forth would give anything to get lost in that gaze, even for a second.

And he is terrified….of not being able to  drown in those eyes again… 

 "Now I am…"

He placed his hand on top of Beam's, and kissed his wrists, closing his eyes.

"I don't want to let you go… I can't "

Beam shifted closer, and pressed his forehead against Forth's.  "And I cannot lose you either…"

*******

At the breaking dawn, they rode back home. And when the soft sunlight reached down, Beam realized how beautiful the area was. "Now I realized why your mother wanted to reside in that mansion. Can we live here one day?"

Forth offered him a soft glance and tightened his grip on Beams hand he was holding. "Anything you wish, my love" he said, looking back at the road, his grip firm on the steering wheel. "Anything you want"

Beam chuckled. "If you were given a chance to wish for anything, what would you wish?"

"For you to be always happy" Forth replied, without missing a Beat. And Beam's heart swelled at the glowing look in Forth's eyes. 

"And what would you wish?" Forth asked.

Beam looked down, at their intertwined hands.

"To be forever yours"

****

A/N

Do you guys remember once Forth had a panic attack?  

I would explain it here, since im not sure that I would get to address the issue of his panic attack. It's basically something like Forth struggling between love and  obsession. Forth does have symptoms of psychopathy (lack of remorse and lack of empathy) . And because of lack empathy he has trouble falling in love, and when he is in a relationship it tends to be obsessive lust instead of love. But with Beam it goes beyond obsession. When he falls in love he struggles between that need to own and need for him to be happy. If u read that scene again, u would see that inner turmoil (well that's what I wanted to show anyway haha)

Is Forth a psychopath? Well not exactly. More like a sociopath? But he does have psychopathic tendencies. Forth does not have anger issues (like Lenny). He doesn't kill because of rage. But at the same time he doesn't hesitate to kill. It's more like this. Like sometimes we wish someone is dead but we still do not do it because of the consequence of the sheer lack of gut to do it? For Forth, its nothing. He doesn't exactly see a value of a human life, or being alive and tends to just finish them off if they deserve it. But he doesn't kill for no reason either. 

That's how his therapy is done. By forcing him to think through of consequences. Because in generally he doesn't feel fear or anxious about consequences. (psychopathic tendencies). Remember how he decided not to kill Phana? Thinking about his dad? (A man Forth owes the most)

Only after he meets Beam he realized how beautiful it is to be alive. Only then he started to feel the fear.

Can psychopaths love? No they can't. But Forth isn't entirely a one. Like I said. More like a sociopath. Even though it's unlikely, they can still fall in love. They say they are selectively empathetic. (Only care about chosen few people)

Forth didn't love any of his lovers. Well not exactly. But Forth does love Beam. Why? Because he doesn't want to own him. He wants his happiness. And that is the definition of love. Forth have really deep feeling towards Beam. And it's beyond an obsession.

I'm a horrible author and I should not even think of doing this. I mean if I had to explain a part that means I didn't do a good job at writing.

But I had to do this anyway.