One House Behind | ✓

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

Shelly

Tanner had yet to come back outside. I thought he was going to go outside every day but he didn't. The last time we talked was two weeks ago when we sunbathed together.

Frowning, I laid a blanket on the grass before laying on it. The sun was hidden behind clouds today but the sky looked pretty. I had stayed outside so long, waiting for something, that the sun had fallen and the moon rose. Taking a picture of the night sky, I slipped my hoodie on so that the mosquitoes couldn't get me badly.

I was lucky that we had cut the trees a few months earlier so that I had a clear view of the stars. It was about ten and my parents were most likely watching the news. I decided to skip it as I didn't want to hear how my life was put on hold. 

I didn't want to hear the rising number of dead people, knowing they'd had someone stripped of them too.

I also didn't want to see how much longer my life would be put on pause. It was bad enough that senior year was a bust but hearing how college life was also interrupted irritated me. I had wished for this year to be my year. For people to finally let me be their friend and care for me the way I do them. But this year was not that year.

"Hey Gramps, " I mumbled out.

Starting at one star, I knew he was looking back at me. My heart tugged as I thought about how he wasn't here. My grandfather was my Evangeline.

I had walked to the bus stop the day after he passed. We had yet to bury him but he was gone. I felt lonely walking, no one knew how I felt, everyone has things to remember him by but I had found nothing. I also felt bad when I knew he was dying and let myself brace for it. And then, there was an urge to look up.

And that's where I found him. The brightest star. He was my North Star, always leading me onto my next adventure. For the moment, though, my next adventure was unknown to me. There seemed to no longer be an out to my mundane life.

"I haven't talked to you in a while and I'm sorry about that. With everything going on, it would seem I would be doing that more since I should have the time. I've just been caught up in school, making a new home schedule, or sleeping. I've made it so that I have no time to think about you. That makes me feel bad."

I let silence engulf me. Tears prickled my eyes as I felt the want for him. Letting the tears go, I let out a tiny whimper. I rarely cried in front of my parents.

Especially my mom. She had lost him too and it was worse because it was her father. She held him dearly so I didn't like bringing him up. If we could ignore it, then we could get past it.

"I just miss you. You should be here with us. I haven't been the same without you. I need you here. You were so happy and I need that in my life right now. I don't even have anything to remember you by, nothing." I cried as I sat up and gripped my legs.

Everything seemed to collapse. I was scared. The world I knew was crumbling and there was no one who was by my side. All my friends seemed to forget about me, my parents were fighting, and Tanner had yet to come back out. I was utterly alone.

The breeze relaxed my trembling self. The furrow in my brows felt as deep as the ocean. I tried to keep in the louder sobs but nothing was able to hold them back. They wracked through me but I wasn't embarrassed. I only knew one emotion as I cried.

I just felt sorrow.