One House Behind | ✓

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

Tanner

It had been more than two weeks. Two weeks filled with my phone with high volume in case she replied or called. But every notification was for something else. And each time had my heart plummeting.

"Tan."

"What do you want Susie?" My voice came off cold and uninterested.

"I wanted to talk. You haven't really spoken much to us all. All you do is sit outside and wait."

"Yeah well, that's all I can do for now," I sighed but didn't look at her.

"Can you please make it seem like you are talking to me?"

"Susie, can't I stay mad? Why is it that when someone does something, they expect another to listen to them? I'm angry, leave me alone."

"Leslie told me you guys talked," she pressed.

"We did."

I turned my phone off. She was already on my bed. The bed was dipped where she sat so she moved and sat next to me, this time dipping the bed next to my hip.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think anything bad was going to happen. It's not my fault that you got all defensive over nothing." Her eyes widened for extra effect. She quickly changed her answer though, raising her hands as well, when she noticed my gaze. "Okay, maybe it was something that I didn't know." 

"It was just...Leslie was my past. I didn't want anything to remind me of what I did. I hurt a girl and Shelly was-"

"Do you like her?"

"Huh?"

My eyebrow raised, I felt my heart pick up. I had thought about that but didn't let myself indulge in it. I didn't want to mix those feelings with friendly feelings.

More so because everything could change too soon if I stayed with my plans to go to college.

Which I dreaded. I didn't want to go to college. I wanted to travel. This illness had put a pause on that. My parents didn't think a gap year was going to work. They also didn't think colleges would like it.

"No."

"Ya sure?"

"Why do you even care?"

"Because. You're my brother and if she makes you happy and not Leslie, I need to prepare to figure out if she's better or worse. Don't laugh at my logic, Leslie is my friend. This girl-"

"Shelly," I corrected.

"Shelly would be your girlfriend and I would want to be nice. I can't have her judging you and feeling insecure that I'd have a hand in you guys breaking up."

"Ya know, technicality says we already did break up. Just as friends though."

"Did it sting? Do you miss her? Do you wish you could go back and redo the moment you messed up?"

"Is this some magazine questionnaire?"

"Sorta. Just answer," she slapped my thigh with the back of her hand.

"Yes."

I felt a blush bloom on my face. I don't think I had ever told Susie my thoughts. Or even shared my feelings. It was feminine for me but telling her now was...freeing.

I wasn't keeping anything hidden. Everything was coming out. I knew now that the reason I pushed Shelly away was that I was scared she was going to do it herself. She was going to find out that I had messed around with a girl, had no intention of staying with her, and thought lowly of me.

I didn't want her to be disappointed. Thinking back, it probably wasn't my best decision. Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh while Susie laughed.

I looked at her. A smile played at her lips and her eyes crinkled at the corner. With a tsk, she got up and walked to the door wordlessly. But then she turned, leaned on the wooden frame, and pursed her lips.

"You know, I may have no dating experience but I have read a lot of romance novels. You should try to mend this, over text her, unblock her if you did stupid, and then make a gesture."

"Gesture?" I asked sitting up.

"Yeah, to let her know you care about her. Trust me, if she doesn't have feelings for you now, then she will after it. Just...be careful? I don't want to lose you because you want to date her."

I chuckled. Walking over to her, I wrapped her in my arms. Even though we have our fights, I could always count on Susie. Her arms wrapped around my torso and gripped tightly as if she was hugging me for the last time.

"Don't worry, I'll be safe."

"Good, now plan. How long have you not talked?"

"Too long."

"I have an idea for a gesture," she mumbled with her eyes on the ceiling and pulled away as she thought about it more.

"What?"

And that was how I found myself up all night writing until my wrist was tired and only had a few hours before my shift started. But if I was getting Shelly back, it was worth it.

******

A/N: 

Not wanting someone to be disappointed in you is such a valid reason to just pull away. If you leave first, you don't have a chance for that to happen. It's not a good reason, nor is it really valid because it's isolating, but it makes sense.