One House Behind | ✓

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭

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As soon as the sun set, I went to her front door. I was going to mail them but figured that was going to take too long. Quickly putting the letters in her mail shoot, I rang the doorbell and left.

Hopefully, she or her mom would move from the empty door to the mail shoot. And then she'd give it to Shelly and she'd read them. She'd then understand what I did and why.

"So, succeed?"

"Yes, Susie."

"Just wanted to make sure." She raised her hands to the sky.

"I just have to wait a bit longer," I mumbled.

"And this sluggish you won't be anymore!"

"I'm not sluggish!" I retorted.

"You barely even want to go to work. I get it, it's hard, but in two weeks you are gone. You should be working harder but since you guys stopped talking, you have been like a zombie."

I didn't reply. Inside my room, I changed into my pajamas. Once I laid down, I checked my phone, even turning it on and off in case it was broken.

But still, nothing.

My eyes stung as I realized I may have lost her. She did nothing wrong and yet I still managed to ruin it. Letting a few angry tears slip out, I rolled over and went to bed.

******

One week later

Sitting up, I automatically checked my phone. Still nothing. I had a week to go and it didn't seem like anything was changing. Throwing my phone down on my bed, I got up to go to the kitchen.

"Still nothing?"

"No, I just...was it not good enough? You read through them all right? You don't think it's too much? Too much in such short time? I just-"

"When you start thinking like that, it gets you nowhere. She'll come around. I promise." Susie's eyebrows rose with her words.

"Okay."

I made myself breakfast, which consisted of milk and cereal. Eating quickly, I got ready to go to work with my father.

Since I had already finished my job, I had to end it quickly so time matched when I left, my father had let me go with him. He wanted to make my time full to the brim.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

And then we were on our way to his work. My lip was stuck between my teeth the entire ride. Hearing a laugh, I faced my father with an indent on my forehead from where my eyebrows tried to meet.

"What?"

"Nothing, just...you look so deep in thought and you barely turned eighteen not that long ago."

"I'm fixing things, that's why."

"With what? This Leslie girl?"

"No, with Shelly, our backyard neighbor."

"Oh, so you do like her." He nodded as if he was just getting a joke, slowly.

"Yes. Can we get past that part?"

"Let me guess, you did something rude and now you're groveling?"

"Uh-huh," I let out.

I felt the indent deepen. I knew it was nothing big. Sure, ghosting someone was a major thing to girls but it wasn't like I cheated on her. It was still just as bad but it wasn't worse.

Which was also weird because we weren't even dating or trying to.

"It's just an awkward thing to do because we weren't doing anything. We were friends."

"I got a question. If you weren't stuck with this illness, if you could have gone on dates and kissed her, would you?"

And then it was in my mind. Us going out on dates, holding hands, kissing. It was everything I didn't know I wanted. We would've met this year in high school. We would've ridden the same bus. We would've bumped into each other as we walked home. 

I would've still liked her.

"Yes, I would. In a heartbeat."

"What did you do to apologize?"

"I wrote down our first meeting, our first sunbathe together, and our first meeting. And how much all of it meant. And then a three-page apology about how sorry I am, and stupid, while also hinting at my feelings."

"I'm proud. I raised you well."

"You don't think it's too feminine?"

"No. A man will cry, a man will show and tell his feelings, and a man will let the girl or woman he likes or love know everything. His right and wrongs and everything in between. A man isn't defined as being a beast, he's a beast for show but soft for his lady."

"That was...weirdly inspirational," I laughed as we parked in the worker parking lot.

"I got it from Facebook," he rolled his eyes with a chuckle as he took a second to exit the car.

And then I got out myself. Walking in with smiles hidden behind our masks, we got inside to work until sunset. Which marked one less day that I was going to get with her.