One House Behind | ✓

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞

Shelly

Once I got home, my mom made me take a shower. Twice. And then everything I touched she cleaned. She then told me I couldn't go outside for two weeks.

As if butterflies could give me it.

I didn't listen. I did what she asked for the day I returned but then the day after I told her I was going out of the house. I didn't want to miss the time Tanner said he would go outside.

"Are you listening?"

"Mom, I'm not going to catch anything," not that I knew of, "so stop fretting."

"I can't, you are my baby. I can't lose you. You know what they say."

"You shouldn't have to put your kid in a grave, yes Mom, I know." I shook my head at her.

I understood why she was afraid. I was afraid too. It was getting worse day by day. But that's also how we have to live. Day by day.

The look on her face was enough to make me skip the next day with Tanner. And then the next two weeks. I followed what my mother wanted just to ease her mind.

"Can I leave now?"

"Yes, outside." she said with a slap to my butt as I walked outside.

Giggling, I walked out. I hadn't got back my Instagram, I wanted a bit longer with myself. I decided in that moment to get it back and was horrified when I saw it.

Tanner thought I ditched him.

Tantheman

You're late

Shelly?

You there?

Shelly, it's been a few days

Are you mad at m?

*me?

I'm sorry

Hey

No reply still

I'm sorry if I made you mad, I don't know if I said something or did something you didn't like but I'm sorry, can you PLEASE reply to me????

You know how to make a guy flip out

Are we no longer friends?

Hey

I mean this in the most friendliest way, I miss you

I'm sorry

I read them with the utmost regret. I should have gotten it back quicker knowing that he was waiting for me. I bit my lip as I rushed over to the fence.

"Tanner?"

Nothing. I texted him but got nothing. I sat down in the chair as I continued to text him.

Shelz.B

Tanner, im back

I'm sorry

I didn't mean to ditch you

I needed more headspace space

Tanner?

Are you mad at me now???

Tanner

Hey

I'm outside

I'm be waiting

*I'll be waiting

Just come outside

Please?

I forgive you even tho you did nothing wrong

It's my turn to be sorry :(

I signed as I realized he might not respond because I hadn't him. I sat outside for a while nonetheless. I didn't want him to think I didn't care about him.

Maybe I shouldn't think of it like that but still. Tanner had become a part of my life as a friend because he was there for me. I wanted to talk to him and see what he did for the past few days.

I didn't go inside even as the mosquitoes came out. I didn't go in even after I fell asleep. I wanted him to know I was waiting.

It was sort of dramatic but I didn't care. I felt guilty that I made him feel as if I didn't care. I did and what sucked was that by not answering it said I didn't care.

It was complicated but I wanted him outside so I could explain what happened.

I had to go inside to shower and for school. But the entire day, I couldn't keep my mind off of Tanner.