Impulse [A Harry Styles FanFiction]

Chapter 33- Where Do Broken Hearts Go

POV Harry

A frantic arm shakes me awake.

"Harry we have to go!" Zayn ushers me.

I sit up from the couch, grab water, tic tacs, and hurry after Zayn.

I feel like shit.

I barely got any sleep last night and I fell asleep for maybe an hour after Lou did my hair and makeup. I have been looking forward at playing at MSG this entire tour, but I'm mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.

My mates have been nice to me all day, steering clear from the subject, and trying to make me laugh, but I can't help but feel like an undeserving, unworthy asshole.

The entire media thinks so and now I'm sure as hell starting to believe it.

We arrive backstage and Luke, Calum, Micheal, and Aston head towards us with the biggest smiles as they hurry off stage. Aston high fives me and I try to smile but I know it looks fake.

I hear our entrance song blare from the speakers and the crowd begin to cheer. I grab my mic and put my hand in the middle anyway even though I'm completely unfocused.

Everything that was just said simply went in one ear and out the other. I'm nervous because I have been waiting for this moment for so long, but there's now a pit in my stomach. There's a voice in the back of my head telling me I don't deserve the support of the excited fans out there because of what I did.

Suddenly, my legs are carrying me up the stairs and I'm following Niall out on stage and I freeze. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I force a smile on my face as I try to take in the moment. I look at the smiling faces of the buzzing fans dotting the arena and I feel my shoulders relax ever so slightly.

Just put on a show. Make it act. Pretend you're happy. Pretend You're excited. Forget what's going on right now and just preform.

I open my eyes as I finish my mental pep talk. I've made it to MSG- I'm going to force myself to enjoy this.

~

"Thank you New York!" I yell.

I blow a few kisses to the audience and jog off the stage. I step off the stairs and head straight for the trash can.

I empty my stomach and I start to cry. Soon, I'm hyperventilating and the world is spinning. I grip the rim of the can tighter so I don't lose my balance.

"Harry..." Louis says softly.

He puts a comforting arm around me and I can't help but throw my arms around him and hug him. I cry softly into his shirt soaking the area where my head lays.

"I don't deserve this! I don't deserve those thousands of fans supporting me after what just happened between Auden and I. It sickens me that Auden and now the world think I would ever mistreat a girl like that. I'm not a cheater!" I wail.

Louis rubs my back slowly.

"I know. I know. But Hazza, don't ever say you don't deserve the support. You worked just as hard as all of us to get here. The truth will eventually come out."